Obese children...my rant - page 5

by Gently.me | 14,903 Views | 80 Comments

Ok so child comes in with laceration to the hand. 12 years old, about 5'5'' and weighs 260lbs. Big boy. The MD who was suturing was not his PCP, just there to take care of the urgent task. As she wassuturing, the child keeps... Read More


  1. 7
    Quote from samirish
    I've got to say, it does make me believe food can be a real addiction. Is it really so different then the meth addict or heroin addict shooting up 12 times a day? I also agree, society in general should not have to support this kind of behavior. If a person is gonna kill themselves, well I can't stop you but don't make me and my family pay for it too.
    i fully believe that food is an addiction, for the morbidly obese.
    we all know food is a pleasure of life.
    to completely grab for something (whether it's etoh, shopping, gambling, EATING) in order to fill that endless, black hole, is indeed powerful and hard to quit.
    you really do need therapy in order to work through what caused the void/pain in the first place.
    that takes courage and work.

    while i do agree that it affects us as well, my human side can't help but feel that if the addict wants to quit, that we provide resources, support, and patience.
    where i do become less patient, is when the obese adults, are passing it on to their children.
    honestly, i cannot help feeling a tad judgmental...

    it's a devastating epidemic because of human weakness, but even moreso...
    it's the damned strategizing from media and marketing, that entice us to eat something so unhealthy, while the lbs pile on.
    add the media/marketing as guilty for video/computer games that keep one glued to tv et al.
    all these folks are making millions/billions off us, while we end up killing ourselves.

    there is too much temptation around us...
    and little education.

    now, what are we going to do about THAT?

    leslie
    CCL RN, kythe, MomRN0913, and 4 others like this.
  2. 3
    My family has the genetics to be: fat, for the females they are usually really fat after 3 or so babies, have heart disease, kidney problems, arthritis, high cholesterol, etc.

    My immediate family has undergone an interesting change over the last ten years or so. When the girls were little, I made their own baby food, and we had a very tight budget so there was no budget for sweets and such. Three squares and a light snack, and we didn't have large portions because we were broke! They ate what they were given and never did I hear them pitching fits, because it wouldn't have done any good.

    We divorced and each of us wound up with custody of a child. I was so broke for several years, and I know it's a challenge not eating a lot of carbs on a teensy budget, but there are ways to get your protein and veggies without breaking the bank. (Hint: There was a lot of brown rice.) When my youngest hit puberty and came home one day and ate a half loaf of bread, I knew we had a problem. So I went to home depot, bought a chain, and a master lock with a key, put the bread and a few other items in the fridge, and locked it. For a year. Until she learned portion control again.

    My oldest was allowed to have a liter of soda with dinner, whenever she wanted. There was a lot of macaroni consumption in her dad's household. Well ten years later we have a 130 pound 5'2" muscular daughter, and a 200 pound 5'2" daughter. My ex stopped telling me his weight when he hit 300 pounds. I am holding at 130 pounds and not quite five feet. Now that I'm no longer broke we eat better, but still remember how to cook healthy food.

    The picture this paints is simple to me, that parenting properly requires work and discipline. And no, it ain't easy. But it's really worth it.
    CCL RN, Gently.me, and leslie :-D like this.
  3. 6
    But, here's the thing. Those parents that you are judging are often products of how they were raised too. Someone has to stop judging, stop saying things like "just stop overeating" or "I overcame this- you should be able to also" and actually see these people as people....who are in pain, who need education and support, who need to be taught how to eat healthy on a dime (because it seems cheaper to buy the junk when you don't know any better), who need emotional and psychological support, who need help with time management because many are very stressed and overworked and do not feel they have time to make meals, who were once innocent children that never learned how to be healthy, etc. I agree with the poster above- it is hard to do the right thing when parenting, but it is worth it. And, when confronted with parents who are not willing or able to do the right things, we need to do our best to educate and help the children directly and break the cycle.
    OCNRN63, kids, Purple_Scrubs, and 3 others like this.
  4. 4
    Quote from ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    This topic is a huge pet peeve of mine. These children are being set up for so many emotional problems, bullying in school and long term medical problems and a good percent of the cases CAN be prevented if the parents step up to the plate.
    Kids are bullied for a lot of reasons. How do you know that they aren't fat because of emotional problems caused by bullying? Do fat kids deserve to be bullied?

    As you can probably tell, this struck a nerve with me. I was a fat kid. I'm now a fat adult. My parents didn't serve much junk, but they didn't know how to cook much of anything. Mom didn't believe in peeling carrots. Vegetables usually came from a can. I battled depression (and still do). Even when I was very active, walking 5-6 miles a day (I lived in the boondocks without a car), I was still fat.

    In my Weight Watchers years, I heard a lot of people say they like vegetables now, but they didn't like the way their parents served them. It's easy to hate vegetables when they're only served from a can. One leader described with amazement the first time she ate broccoli that wasn't either completely limp or drowned in cheese sauce.

    Plenty of thin people eat processed food (which is anything that isn't either raw or straight out of the ground), simple carbs, and other unhealthy foods. They don't exercise enough. You don't notice most of them, because they aren't fat. Whole Foods sells just as much junk as Aldi, it just costs a lot more (there's a reason it's called Whole Paycheck).

    Everyone has their problems; some are more visible than others. Do you think fat kids don't realize they're fat? Do you think their parents don't know they're fat (okay, some don't)? Parenthood is hard enough without people judging you because your kid is fat.
    OCNRN63, kids, mya612, and 1 other like this.
  5. 5
    Quote from Not_A_Hat_Person
    Kids are bullied for a lot of reasons. How do you know that they aren't fat because of emotional problems caused by bullying? Do fat kids deserve to be bullied?

    As you can probably tell, this struck a nerve with me. I was a fat kid. I'm now a fat adult. My parents didn't serve much junk, but they didn't know how to cook much of anything. Mom didn't believe in peeling carrots. Vegetables usually came from a can. I battled depression (and still do). Even when I was very active, walking 5-6 miles a day (I lived in the boondocks without a car), I was still fat.

    In my Weight Watchers years, I heard a lot of people say they like vegetables now, but they didn't like the way their parents served them. It's easy to hate vegetables when they're only served from a can. One leader described with amazement the first time she ate broccoli that wasn't either completely limp or drowned in cheese sauce.

    Plenty of thin people eat processed food (which is anything that isn't either raw or straight out of the ground), simple carbs, and other unhealthy foods. They don't exercise enough. You don't notice most of them, because they aren't fat. Whole Foods sells just as much junk as Aldi, it just costs a lot more (there's a reason it's called Whole Paycheck).

    Everyone has their problems; some are more visible than others. Do you think fat kids don't realize they're fat? Do you think their parents don't know they're fat (okay, some don't)? Parenthood is hard enough without people judging you because your kid is fat.

    I think you have a bit of misdirected anger. I never said fat kids deserved to get bullied. I don't feel ANYONE deserves to get bullied. But fat kids WILL get bullied. So why not help your children have one less hardship to face in school. School can be hard enough with kids, why set them up that way when it's usually something you can prevent by feeding your children better and keeping them active. Then what's going to happen, the child is going to go to school and get bullied, then come home and eat more to comfort from the bullying and it's a never ending cycle. I have seen a great amount of obese children before they even hit school. These kids are going to have so many problems in school that will effect them for the rest of their lives. I see so many parents that obviously know their kids are fat but see nothing wrong with it. They do nothing to help their child. Of course the child knows. I don't blame the children.

    Unless it's a medical reason or some normal childhood chub that a lot of kids go through, especially prepubescent age then yes I absolutely think the parents or caregivers are the problems.

    When I have a post surgical 8 year old that weighs 165 lbs and has high blood pressure that is higher then a lot of adults and a lot of other health problems stemming from being overweight and mom and dad are bringing him in crap food and 20 oz bottles of Mtn. Dew you're damn right I have a problem with it.

    IMO it's a form of abuse. If you were to not feed your kids you would be in trouble for neglect. But you can overfeed your kids and instead kill them slowly while also adding to a lot of psychological problems and it's perfectly acceptable. At some point people need to accept responsibility.

    As you can see this strikes a nerve with me too.
    Mom To 4, cherrybreeze, CCL RN, and 2 others like this.
  6. 4
    Maybe his back hurt for a different reason. Plenty of people, doctors included, blame obesity and fat on any issue when there may be some other reason, even if being fat is a contributing factor. Although 200+ lbs on any frame will lead to pain I am sure.
    Last edit by anotherone on Sep 15, '11
  7. 1
    Quote from Horseshoe
    "It's so easy to talk about it and it is so not easy to do it."

    Okay, please note that I'm not picking on you, I'm just focusing on this sentence, which I've heard many many times.

    SO WHAT if it's not "easy." Who ever got the idea that raising kids properly would ever be "easy?" It's NOT easy to do the right thing, whether that means feeding our kids healthy food in the presence of tantrums, advertising, and ease of poor alternatives, or expecting kids to help with chores, do their homework, adhere to curfew, whatever. It's NOT easy to raise healthy, productive citizens, but no one ever promised us it would be easy. Let's not do what's EASY, let's do what is RIGHT and BEST for our kids, and I can promise you that feeding our kids CRAP and giving in to tantrums demanding junk food, sedentary lifestyles, and the power to make decisions for the family is NOT doing what is right for our kids.

    Let's not go for easy, let's go for what's best for our kids-and trust me, whether they are 2 years old or ten, they do NOT know what's best for them. That's our job, and it is NOT "easy" to figure out and enforce. If we're not up to the job, fine, admit it, and just don't have kids. Being a parent is not for the faint of heart!
    Same for adults. Being 5'6 and a size 4 is not easy or good genetics or any of that. not for me. It was about diet restricting and a lot of exercise. Not easy at all.
    CCL RN likes this.
  8. 2
    Quote from Horseshoe
    "I just wish I could stop all of the binge-eating I do after she goes to bed. She busted me the other morning because I didn't throw away the Ben and jerry's container!"

    If you don't buy it, you can't eat it. Believe me, even as a lifelong thin person, I understand the late night binge. I cannot keep shredded cheese and tostada chips or even triscuits in the house, or I will be eating those at midnight while watching Jersey Shore reruns (blushes heavily).

    You CANNOT eat what you don't have, so just don't buy Ben and Jerry's.
    Yep. I really think some people are addicted to food. It is a very cheap addiction and a pretty safe one. (no strolling through an underpass at 3am for donuts). It is really about self control. Yes, I know some people don't even have the urge or therefore the need to even control anything.
    CCL RN and DizzyLizzyNurse like this.
  9. 0
    Quote from mya612
    Health care disparities based on race, ethnicity, gender, and socioeconomic status exist even today. Let's not forget that when we are about to "assume" anything about the patients we provide care to. I am not excusing poor choices on the part of the patient, I am just pointing out that everyone doesn't have access to reasonably priced fresh vegetables, a fitness facility, and live in a crime-free area where they feel it is safe to go for a walk or let their children go outside to play.

    The person that doesn't work doesn't eat is what I believe, but sometimes a person's lack of working is not by choice. Look at the unemployment rate in our country right now. Some of the public assistance people receive is because they have NO choice.
    BTW, I've seen morbidly obese people who are not on public assistance as well. Can't automatically assume that the obese person you're providing care to is receiving public assistance.

    Just some "food" for thought
    Ramen noodles are cheap everywhere in the USA. even if it is not healthy at all does not mean you have to be fat...................................
  10. 1
    Quote from samirish
    I've always wondered..how in the world does someone let themselves get like that?? I mean c'mon! They must know they are killing themselves. I've got to say, it does make me believe food can be a real addiction. Is it really so different then the meth addict or heroin addict shooting up 12 times a day? I also agree, society in general should not have to support this kind of behavior. If a person is gonna kill themselves, well I can't stop you but don't make me and my family pay for it too.
    No, not different at all. Just like one knows shooting up into an abcess with dirty needles will kill you, one also knows that eating so much will kill you or result in amputations, vision/kidney problems secondary to diabities etc. and people do it anyway. it gets tot he point where all you want is to pursue the addictive behavior even if you know it is destroying you. I think it is the same for any "Addiction".
    DizzyLizzyNurse likes this.


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