Obese children...my rant - page 5

Ok so child comes in with laceration to the hand. 12 years old, about 5'5'' and weighs 260lbs. Big boy. The MD who was suturing was not his PCP, just there to take care of the urgent task. As she... Read More

  1. Visit  anotherone} profile page
    2
    Quote from nurse educate
    I am pleasantly surprised to see that this is not an obesity thread full of arguments! I'm wondering why that is the case...

    Anyway, my daughter is a self-proclaimed junk food fiend! She is proud. I, on the other hand, am mortified. She shows little self control when it comes to the amount of unhealthy food she should consume. She is not overweight, but has a little bit of a belly. I worry about her when she is not with me (school, frinds' houses, parties, etc) that she does not know when to say when. She is almost 12. I see how her friends are when they come over; they are not craving the sweets like she is.Many of them are content with water to drink, and if I offer them a 'snack' they do not always jump at it, if it is sweet.

    Now, the big question: how did she get this way? I blame 4 people: her parents and her grandparents. I absoultely take 1/4 of the responsibility (her father and I are not together). From an early age, we unfortunately made treats a regular occurence. If they are not used to them, or never had them, they do NOT know what they are missing. She has a least 3 friends who drink water as their primary drink. They are old enough to know that there are other options out there, but have little interest in them.

    Now, we are trying to change our habits, I am trying to model appropriate behaviors (I do not hae a weight problem myslef, but am not getting any younger ). Trying to encourage more activity, and less tv/internet. Healthy snacks and meals (especially breakfast, she would drown herself in carbs if I let her in the morning).

    If I could do it all over again, I would do so much differently. We think it's cute to see a kid with cupcake smushed all over their faces. While i have some friends/family with overweigh kids, they are cute, but the fact that they are short of breath and can't keep up with their peers is not cute at all. And that people make fun of them is incredible sad.
    I wonder if addiction to food is like addiction to alcohol?( yes, i know no where near as severe). but I mean what makes one person be content with a shot of vodka and have a nearly filled bottle in their house for months while another can't walk by it without drinking? Is it the same as someone who can let chips go stale while some people feel the desire to eat everything in sight? Can't say it is all self- control. If you have no desire to go drinking or to the nearest fast food place every hour you are awake, are you really controlling anything?
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  3. Visit  ProfRN4} profile page
    0
    It's funny, I was thinking the same thought about an hour ago (while she was trying to negotiate a snack with me). I really think it's a similar thing. Thank God, I cam honestly say I am very content with not indulging in things just because I have access to them. Case in point; vodka and ice cream in the house right now, and no desire for either
  4. Visit  DizzyLizzyNurse} profile page
    2
    Quote from nurse educate
    I am pleasantly surprised to see that this is not an obesity thread full of arguments! I'm wondering why that is the case...

    Anyway, my daughter is a self-proclaimed junk food fiend! She is proud. I, on the other hand, am mortified. She shows little self control when it comes to the amount of unhealthy food she should consume. She is not overweight, but has a little bit of a belly. I worry about her when she is not with me (school, frinds' houses, parties, etc) that she does not know when to say when. She is almost 12. I see how her friends are when they come over; they are not craving the sweets like she is.Many of them are content with water to drink, and if I offer them a 'snack' they do not always jump at it, if it is sweet.

    Now, the big question: how did she get this way? I blame 4 people: her parents and her grandparents. I absoultely take 1/4 of the responsibility (her father and I are not together). From an early age, we unfortunately made treats a regular occurence. If they are not used to them, or never had them, they do NOT know what they are missing. She has a least 3 friends who drink water as their primary drink. They are old enough to know that there are other options out there, but have little interest in them.

    Now, we are trying to change our habits, I am trying to model appropriate behaviors (I do not hae a weight problem myslef, but am not getting any younger ). Trying to encourage more activity, and less tv/internet. Healthy snacks and meals (especially breakfast, she would drown herself in carbs if I let her in the morning).

    If I could do it all over again, I would do so much differently. We think it's cute to see a kid with cupcake smushed all over their faces. While i have some friends/family with overweigh kids, they are cute, but the fact that they are short of breath and can't keep up with their peers is not cute at all. And that people make fun of them is incredible sad.
    Sounds like me when I was a kid. Now I'm 5'3'' and 250 lbs and I'd call myself a food addict. I'm seeing an eating disorder specialist right now. My advice would be to not make a big deal out of it. DO NOT lecture her. (That's what my parents did.) Don't make her eat differently than her siblings if she has them (my parents lectured me on my 1 slice of pizza while encouraging my brothers to eat as much as they wanted.) Don't bring the junk into the house at all. Learn to make healthy, good tasting snacks. Have her help you shop and make the food. Make it fun. My parents meant well, I know that now, but boy did I resent them when I was a kid. All it made me do was sneak food and binge when I could, while eating healthy around them. Perfect set up for an eating disorder. Good luck! It's gotta be tough, especially as the mother of a girl.:redpinkhe
    CCL RN and Not_A_Hat_Person like this.
  5. Visit  mya612} profile page
    3
    anotherone:
    You're right - ramen noodles are cheap everywhere in the US, and they are also HIGH IN FAT! Read the nutrition information on the package. In addition to being high in fat, the seasoning packet contains a TON of MSG. People are what they eat - garbage in, garbage out. If you only eat nutritionally deficient high-fat food, you will be a nutritionally deficient, high-fat person. So thank you for proving my point.
  6. Visit  pockunit} profile page
    1
    There was just a piece on NPR (commies! liberal hippies!) about willpower and how to increase it. Also, about cupcakes, which is more interesting to many of us. Basically, you have so much banked for the day, so be aware of how and when you use it, but if you use it often, you can strengthen it. Imma give it a try. Tomorrow.
    CCL RN likes this.
  7. Visit  pockunit} profile page
    0
    Quote from nurse educate
    vodka and ice cream in the house right now, and no desire for either

    I see the words ...
  8. Visit  CrunchRN} profile page
    3
    It is such complex issue and needs to be tackled on may levels if we are ever going to beat it (couseling, exercise, education, restriction from crap foods).

    It is not just calories in calories out (yes physiologically, but not emotionally and in many other ways).

    Having been a fat kid back in the day when I was the only fat kid in my class (70's) I really feel for these kids. Although it is common now and doesn't cause as much exclusion I fear what will happen to all these kids with high BP and other related issues in their 20's and 30's. Will they have the health issues of those in their 60s and 70s?

    I have managed to maintain (more or less) at 155 to 165 for the last 20+ years after being 235 in my 20's, but only through strict weight management and a commitment to intense exercise that requires me to be fully invovled in the battle every day of my life and having spent way more mental energy on it than I would ever have wished.

    I feel sorry for the parents who are trying to fight their childs battle without harming their self esteem and totally PO'd at the parents who just will not change their families food intake for the better when their is so obviously a problem because they like the junk or despite education just cannot be bothered to implement changes.
  9. Visit  anotherone} profile page
    1
    Quote from mya612
    anotherone:
    You're right - ramen noodles are cheap everywhere in the US, and they are also HIGH IN FAT! Read the nutrition information on the package. In addition to being high in fat, the seasoning packet contains a TON of MSG. People are what they eat - garbage in, garbage out. If you only eat nutritionally deficient high-fat food, you will be a nutritionally deficient, high-fat person. So thank you for proving my point.
    Yes your lab values might be out of control but that doesn't mean you will be obese.
    Not_A_Hat_Person likes this.
  10. Visit  HappydayRn} profile page
    1
    I had a 12 year old 260lb boy with HTN, high cholesterol, liver failure, and newly diagnosed with diabetes. Pt Mom refused to take him to the exercise and weight loss program the Doctor had recommneded. I could not help but think this was a slow murder of her child. I've dealt with this child twice, once because he developed PNA and the other for ketoacidosis. This kiddo is sicker then many 70 year olds.
    carolmaccas66 likes this.
  11. Visit  MomRN0913} profile page
    4
    Quote from HappydayRn
    I had a 12 year old 260lb boy with HTN, high cholesterol, liver failure, and newly diagnosed with diabetes. Pt Mom refused to take him to the exercise and weight loss program the Doctor had recommneded. I could not help but think this was a slow murder of her child. I've dealt with this child twice, once because he developed PNA and the other for ketoacidosis. This kiddo is sicker then many 70 year olds.
    To me this is child abuse, or neglect or something to that effect, It should be court ordered in this case.

    This upsets me very very much.
    rubato, CCL RN, leslie :-D, and 1 other like this.
  12. Visit  R!XTER} profile page
    2
    I think one of the reasons this upsets us is also because we try to give them the education and advice and many times even the resources to deal with these issues, they don't follow up or make the changes we suggest, and then they come back again asking us for help when the next problem arises. It is so frustrating! We are trying to help but if you're not gonna help yourself then don't keep coming back and expect us to be compassionate.
    carolmaccas66 and anotherone like this.
  13. Visit  ProfRN4} profile page
    3
    Quote from R!XTER
    I think one of the reasons this upsets us is also because we try to give them the education and advice and many times even the resources to deal with these issues, they don't follow up or make the changes we suggest, and then they come back again asking us for help when the next problem arises. It is so frustrating! We are trying to help but if you're not gonna help yourself then don't keep coming back and expect us to be compassionate.
    With that comes the perception that these kids just get sick out of nowhere. Granted injuries are injuries, but when they're coming in for breathing issues, it's obviously r/t their weight (although not obvious to them). Then you hear "it runs in the family". Why does it run in the family? Because children model their parents behavior. I'm tired of everyone writing off ALL of their medical and weight issues to genetics. The exceptions (actually hereditary issues) are rarer than we all want to believe. Its the behavior that's hereditary.
    R!XTER, carolmaccas66, and leslie :-D like this.
  14. Visit  Gently.me} profile page
    2
    Quote from nurse educate
    With that comes the perception that these kids just get sick out of nowhere. Granted injuries are injuries, but when they're coming in for breathing issues, it's obviously r/t their weight (although not obvious to them). Then you hear "it runs in the family". Why does it run in the family? Because children model their parents behavior. I'm tired of everyone writing off ALL of their medical and weight issues to genetics. The exceptions (actually hereditary issues) are rarer than we all want to believe. Its the behavior that's hereditary.
    Every time I hear the quote "it runs in the family" I have to bluntly tell that person it is their choice to break the chain, because dead is dead. When it comes to obesity, they may have to work harder ESPECIALLY at family events, because if they don't they will be in the hospital with health problems (pick an organ) in no time. If is it obesity secondary to hypothyroidism, you have to work 3 times as hard to keep the weight off.

    I am a firm stop the excuses kind of gal. Obesity is a choice, and it is more complicated than "eat less calories than you take in" I do know. The cure to obesity is lifestyle change. It is sad to see people accept that their obesity is just the way it is supposed to be.... let's get them motivated!!

    This is why I LOVE the show "the Biggest Loser". So inspirational to see obese people make lifestyle changes and choices, and to be able to see the results pan out!


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