Anyone else hesitant to have kids after being in peds?

  1. This may sound terrible, but after seeing a lot of the syndromes and illnesses (chronic, not acute) in my time as a peds nurse, I am really getting paranoid about having kids!

    I know all the facts, statistics, etc. - and am aware that so many people have healthy kids. I am just wondering if I am alone in this feeling (and does this make me completely shallow?). I love caring for these kids as an RN, but I can't imagine having such a drastic change for my husband and I.

    I don't know if this is coming across right, and please don't take it as judgemental of special needs children. I just wonder if I am alone in not having kids yet and being afraid of having one with chronic health problems??
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  2. 9 Comments

  3. by   oldshoes
    Oooh, I know a woman who used to work PICU and became possibly the most over-protective mother I have ever seen. Then again, her kids are all happy and healthy and haven't been hit by a bus or anything like that. I'd say your fears are pretty normal.
  4. by   navynurse06
    Scooby,
    I feel the same way you do. I really didn't choose peds nursing; it was chosen for me. And I have always been on the fence about having kids. But the more sick kids I take care of the more I don't want kids, b/c I'm so afraid of what could go wrong. But you aren't alone in your feelings!

    But then I have those days when I take care of a sweet little baby, and just can't wait to have them. So....I have many years ahead of me to make a choice about having them.
    Last edit by navynurse06 on Oct 26, '06
  5. by   canoehead
    After working pediatrics I realized that even the most disabled children are loveable and precious. Even as your awareness of the difficulties goes up, so does your ability to deal with problems as they arise. The first year was a shocker though.

    My nemesis was labor and delivery, the pain, loss of control, and the possibility of things going completely wrong even after a perfect pregnancy, and doing everything right.

    Now I work ER, and have come to the conclusion that the world sucks, and nothing happens for a good reason. If nothing has gone wrong in your life so far, you are one of the lucky ones. I don't mean this in an insulting way, I mean horrible things happen every day to good people. Living life means rolling the dice, taking the chance, and just rejoicing when you get that perfect precious child that you've been dreaming of.
  6. by   PedsRN1991
    Don't let peds deter you from having kids. Having kids is scary (especially with the knowledge of a peds nurse). Think of all that you will know about raising kids.
  7. by   Jolie
    I worked in NICU as a new grad, and for the first 3-1/2 years of my nursing career, never saw a normal, healthy newborn. It gave me quite a skewed impression of childbirth, and I wasn't sure I wanted to start a family, either.

    My "breakthrough" came when I took a job in a nursery that cared for both normal newborns and NICU patients. Seeing that the vast majority of babies were normal and healthy gave me a better perspective.

    If you work on peds, especially in a large teaching hospital, you see the small percentage of children who are hospitalized on a yearly basis, not the 99% who live healthy lives. Maybe a switch to a peds office or mother-baby unit will help you to gain a more realistic perspective.
  8. by   EricJRN
    Working in NICU has actually made me feel a little better about having kids someday. I mean, with some of the interesting families we run into, if their kids are still happy and healthy, then surely I'll be okay.
  9. by   peds77
    I know exactly how you feel.. I have two kids..one who I had before I was a nurse and one who is newborn and I've been in peds for five years now..mostly hem onc..and I can honestly say ignorance is bliss...when my daughter was sick I excepted it was just a cold or fever ect. i even had to take her to a hematoligist which turned out to be something very mild but had i known then what I know now I would've had a heart attack before her appointment...I love what I do and I've seen many parents lose their kids to diseases, cancer, mva's ect and honestly I don't have aby clue how the hell they get through it. because knowing all I know if it was my kid diagnosed with cancer or something you'd be picking me up off the floor....However it hasn't stopped me from having more kids it just makes me think of really sick stuff that "normal" people would never dream of thinking...but i'm not one of those over protective crazy moms i actually keep it to my self so i really onlt torture me.....
  10. by   KellieNurse06
    Quote from Scooby
    This may sound terrible, but after seeing a lot of the syndromes and illnesses (chronic, not acute) in my time as a peds nurse, I am really getting paranoid about having kids!

    I know all the facts, statistics, etc. - and am aware that so many people have healthy kids. I am just wondering if I am alone in this feeling (and does this make me completely shallow?). I love caring for these kids as an RN, but I can't imagine having such a drastic change for my husband and I.

    I don't know if this is coming across right, and please don't take it as judgemental of special needs children. I just wonder if I am alone in not having kids yet and being afraid of having one with chronic health problems??
    Hey, don't feel bad!This is America....and freedom of choice is what this great country is about.....I am the mom of a sn child..a 17 yr old who is like a baby....but I couldn't love her more if she was a "normal healthy kid"....she was a perfectly healthy newborn for 2 1/2 weeks and then got sick..and I had literally just turned 21 2 weeks after she was born...so I was a kid pretty much myself.......hell ya it was hard....absolutely! I honestly can't remember alot of it...which is maybe a good thing.
    I agree it's your right 100%....but, don't let the things you've seen change your mind (if you actually wanted children then changed) after working taking care of. For the longest time I swore I would never have any more kids....it was purely out of fear of having another child who would get sick again.........I have since changed my mind...and honey I've lived it not worked it...if that doesn't change your mnd nothing will because after your shift is over you get to leave & go home...as a parent you don't.
    I can also say having a child with severe medical issues has also changed me.........for the better. As a person on a whole.........because it has made me more humble...that's all I can say...oh ya, and a stronger person too......plus when I work as a nurse I can really & truly empathize with parents who are dealing with serious illness with their child because I have been there....................................well you are fine and whatever you decide is absolutely your right......and it doesn't make you any less of a person because you may choose not to have any kids........:icon_hug:
  11. by   vamedic4
    I understand some of your feelings when you all have expressed concerns over what "could happen" to your potential offspring...but look at it this way-
    it's a gamble any way you look at it.
    Me, I'm a 35 year old hydrocephalic who was expected to be retarded...guess I showed them.
    I've worked in peds for almost 13 years now, and I admit to being just a tiny bit scared when my wife was pregnant-just because of my history. But with a little luck, faith, and good prenatal care, you're above the curve.

    Dad- that's my job
    paramedic- that's how the bills get paid.

    vamedic4
    Daddy to two little monster boys

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