A quick vent

  1. I need to vent about my shift last night. I am still upset after 10 hours. I had a patient who had posterior neck surgery, an older woman who was in a lot of pain. When I came on she was complaining of pain 9/10 and was crying and screaming for help. Patient refused to move because of pain. Through the night I gave her every medication possible to help...around the clock Dilaudid, breakthrough Dilauddid, Codeine, and Flexeril. That was all the pain specialty MD had ordered. When I checked her just before report her pain was a 3/10 and she said she felt a lot better and had slept some.

    Her daughter comes in and is furious that I have given her this much medication. No vital sign changes and no mental status changes. Daughter states she is very concerned with the type of care her mother is receiving and is seriously considering transferring her to another facility (fine with us). Even though the patient is competant to make decisions the daughter is power of attorney and has taken over.

    After explaining the pain scale and what our goals were for managing pain the daughter still was upset and there was nothing I could do to make her happy so I stopped trying. Here I was, all happy that I had helped my patient and achieved my goal and she has the nerve to be upset. I busted my butt for the patient, how dare she say that she is concerned about the care the patient is receiving? What is wrong with some people?

    Thanks for listening, my family doesn't understand my frustration.
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   Tweety
    You did the write thing. This is where documentation comes in where I know you did well. I can't stand families that try to control their family members and the medication they recieve. You did good.
  4. by   jnette
    ((((((((HUGS)))))))) Bellehill. So frustrating for you, I'm sure. Take satisfaction in knowing you did your best for your patient, and forget about all the rest. 'Taint worth it.
  5. by   Ortho_RN
    We have a patient right now that had hip surgery, who was moaning in pain.. Asked if she wanted pain meds, she said yes... We come in, with the pain meds.. The daughter had just arrived and proceeded to tell us that she isn't hurting, so she doesn't need it. The lady is still with it mentally, so she is fully capable to make her own decisions.. I turned to the patient and asked her was she in pain and did she want something.. She said yes.. So I gave her the shot... Walking out the daughter followed me out and said why did you give that.. I said your mom said she was hurting and SHE is my patient, and I will not let her lay there and moan.... Then I proceeded to ask her if she was guardian over her mom, and she said.. "Well no, mothers mind is still intact and she can still care for herself" I said well.. then she can decide if she is hurting or not..

    Families make me so mad sometimes.. And I hate being rude.. But I just can't see letting someone lay there and hurt...
  6. by   bellehill
    Thanks for the support guys, you are right about documentation. I documented so much about both patient and daughter. It feels good to hear people say I did the right thing!
  7. by   RAMROD MITTEN
    Just smack the daughter. She needs to get a life!

    -Dave, yep... THAT ONE!
  8. by   MandyInMS
    Now if you had let her Mother hurt all night and not tried to help her..that would be a reason to be mad..we all know the type..dayumed if ya do..dayumed if ya don't..you did your best for your pt..that's what counts......still,it's soooo frustrating dealing with some families sometimes..I feel ya (((hugzzz)))
  9. by   Sadie04
    You did the right thing. Your job is to make the pt comfortable, shame on the daughter for being difficult!
  10. by   martysgurl
    Quote from Ortho_RN
    We have a patient right now that had hip surgery, who was moaning in pain.. Asked if she wanted pain meds, she said yes... We come in, with the pain meds.. The daughter had just arrived and proceeded to tell us that she isn't hurting, so she doesn't need it. The lady is still with it mentally, so she is fully capable to make her own decisions.. I turned to the patient and asked her was she in pain and did she want something.. She said yes.. So I gave her the shot... Walking out the daughter followed me out and said why did you give that.. I said your mom said she was hurting and SHE is my patient, and I will not let her lay there and moan.... Then I proceeded to ask her if she was guardian over her mom, and she said.. "Well no, mothers mind is still intact and she can still care for herself" I said well.. then she can decide if she is hurting or not..

    Families make me so mad sometimes.. And I hate being rude.. But I just can't see letting someone lay there and hurt...
    Wow well said !!!
    Nothing makes me more bitter then a daughter/son of a patient telling you what to do when the patient themselves is capable....
  11. by   leslie :-D
    always remember that whether the patient is competent or not, they're still entitled to pain relief. so if you were caring for a patient that was deemed incapable of making decisions for herself and the rp stated they didn't want this pt. to get pain meds, it is still your responsibility that this patient does indeed get it, if they're clearly demonstrating signs of pain.

    leslie
  12. by   sharann
    YOu did right!
  13. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Quote from 3rdShiftGuy
    You did the write thing. This is where documentation comes in where I know you did well. I can't stand families that try to control their family members and the medication they recieve. You did good.

    I know how you feel!

    I used to work inpt hospice. We got a lot of admits in for intractable pain. We'd finally get them comfortable, and some family member would say something like "You have my mom all doped up! You're going to turn her into an addict!" :angryfire

    I agree w/ 3rdShiftGuy

    You done did good!

    Maybe the daughter could actually talk to the pt and get her opinion on the matter!
  14. by   Noney
    I think the daughter needs reminded that poa papers are good when the pt can longer make a decision for herself.


    Noney

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