Just venting

  1. I'm trying really hard to learn as much as i can. I'm also trying to get to know everyone that i will be working with by introducing myself, being friendly and smiling when i pass a co-worker. Its really frustrating when you smile at a co-worker or say hello and they ignore you or look at you weird. Yesturday i tried to introduce myself to a surgeon, he didn't even look at me or want to acknowledge me. I've done this a few times and its like i don't even exist!!! What the heck? What do i have to do to get acknowledged? It really gets to me because i figure the surgeons want to know everyone who is going to be in their room right? Wrong. There have been a few surgeons who just look at my name tag. So far i've only had 2 surgeons who were nice enough to introduce themselves and teach me a trick or two. There have also been nurses that i shadowed for the whole day and they act like they don't know or remember me when they see me later on . Who knows maybe some don't remember because they do so much training at my hospital. I'm not much of a social butterfly but i am the type of person that atleast acknowledges people. I believe in greeting in the beginning and saying your goodbyes when your work day is over. What is so hard about that? Ok thought i'd let out my feelings for today. Feel free to post your opinions or experiences. I would love to hear your stories or input. Thanks for listening
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   traumaRUs
    The medical profession is a new social experience. I worked in the ER for 10 years where I was on a first-name basis with everyone - from the attendings to the residents, RNs and support staff. Now, I'm in a private practice as a mid-level provider and the docs know my name but I've been here two months and haven't met many of them! Its kinda weird.

    In the hospital, I would just smile, nod my head and go on with your job. You will find that as the staff gets to know you better and has trust in your decisions and skills, they will be friendlier.

    Take care and don't give up.
  4. by   gonzo1
    Continue with your good manners. Not everyone is socially adept and many are shy. No reason to lower your standards. When you introduce yourself to someone and they ignore you you have gained your first insight into their personality. I was taught by my father to always offer a firm handshake when I meet someone and you would be amazed at how many people can't do that. Occasionally I meet someone who comments on my handshake and how professional it is. (Usually a guy who is not used to a woman with a strong handshake.)
    When I go off shift I always go by the doc I worked with and thank him/her for the good shift or say I enjoyed working with them (even if I didn't). At first it freaked a lot of people out, but now I've noticed other people doing it.
    I think it is so important to create a positive working experience even though not everyone you work with will respond in the same light.
  5. by   RNOTODAY
    Issey, I am experiencing the same thing!!! I have literally, been the only person in the hall with , say another nurse, looked them in the face, smiled, said, "HI Mary", and they have turned their face and kept on walking.......I had alot of trouble with this at first, I have been there 6 months. Actually, I still do. At first I was beginning to get a complex, was it me? Did they not like ME? I just didnt get it, what was their problem..... and the doctors..... most of them wont even look at you, one time I was in a room and one was talking to me, and I completely didnt realize it because I wasnt used to being talked to by one of the mds!!!
    I have found, that OR people are a different bunch, for whatever reason, I just havent figured out why. But, perhaps, when we do, we wont even realize it, because WE are OR PEOPLE!!!!!! I just wanted you to know that you arent alone, I know what you are talking about. I experience the exact same thing. And its frustrating.
  6. by   elcue
    It IS an odd culture, isn't it? I have experienced all of the above, and even more so at my current job, where the culture is decidedly more pyhsician-centered than anywhere I've worked since 1976!

    I have concluded that in an especially physician-centered setting, the nurses, rather than be mutually supportive, more or less each battle the culture in their own way. Unfortunate.

    There's one surgeon in particluar in this OR who just seemed to not like me from the day he set eyes on me 3 years ago. I had never before experienced such warrantless hostility. Now, I long ago got over requiring the approval of everyone I work with to validate myself (FREEDOM at last!), but was uneasy with this hostility all the same. So, I would just say good morning when he entered a room, do my job, and keep quiet all the rest of the time. Over time he gradually initiated a more cordial relationship.
    I think, unfortunately, that in ORs new staff undergoes something of a "hazing" ritual, which may be an uncomfortably prolonged process. These quietly hostile behaviors may be part of the process of sizing you up.

    Just be yourself. When they see that you know your stuff, things will gradually lighten up. It's just not right, but it is reality.
    Take care
    Linda
  7. by   IsseyM
    Thank you everyone for your support and sharing your experiences. Glad to know i'm not the only one who is going through this right now. I had many thoughts go through my head like maybe they don't like new people but especially maybe they don't like me, maybe they have a problem with me. Its hard because when you start somewhere new you want to be accepted and you want to be liked. Well atleast i do, can't speak for others. But what an awful feeling because i'm the type of person who likes people, gets along and works well with others. I need to realize like Linda that i don't need approval of everyone i work with. Not everyone is going to like or approve of me and i just have to accept it. Also being a new grad i don't have alot of confidence right now. I feel so lost and so unsure of myself. I just hope i can pick up all of this fast enough-within a year or 2 they told me.

    One of the nurses i shadowed for the day told the OR manager that i have potential and that really really touched me. Thats the kind of encouragement i'm talking about!! Much love and blessings to those kinds of nurses!!! Well i'm going to try my best to keep a positive attitude and like gonzo1 said, continue with my good manners. Hopefully it will be contagious where i work and others will get infected with positivity and good manners! Take care everyone!
    IsseyM
  8. by   Lara911
    Hi everyone,
    I'm a nurse since 10 years but I just began as a OR nurse since one month...I share what you say, it is not easy to find your place in the OR, I think also it takes time for people to size you and we have to prove our credibility before you be a part of the team...which is difficult when you don't know what you do...)...The most difficult thing for me is to be considerated like nothing while I was good at what I was doing before, I hate this feeling to start all over again but I really like the OR so I'm gonna hang on for a while...Some nurses are really nice and it is toward them that I go when I need help...some have not forget what it is like to begin in this specialty!! Curiously,where I work here in Montreal, surgeons in general are really nice and the anesthetists are the more easy to approach, do you feel the same in USA?...Finally, I think that for the team it must be hard to always resume the training when they know a lot of nurses won't make it till the end...I started with two others girls and now I'm the only one left...Anyway, the most important thing is to like what you do and do it for yourself...at least, here, you can vent when you need!!!
    Good luck!
    Lara
  9. by   NurseRoRo
    I have been there! Fortunately, I now work in a smaller OR setting with less drama kings and queens. I've said it before, the OR is like high school lunch or study hall!! When I work with doctors for the first time, I always say, "I'm NurseRoRo, I don't think I've ever worked with you before" or "I've not seen this procedure done before because I'm still new to the OR"

    That usually gets the surgeon's attention and they have always looked me in the eye to say something or introduce themselves. I assume it's because they want the case to go well, and if I've never done one, they either A: want to know who it is so they can blame you later, or B: they want their case to go smoothly, so they'll be nice from the start.

    Either way, I always admit, "I've never seen/done this case with you" so they know that if they yell at me, hey, I've not done this before!!
  10. by   sharann
    I get ignored in the hallway all the time. I smile or nod and either they do so in return or ignore me like I am invisible. I usually say out loud in passing "nice manners" or "okayyyyy". It make me feel better even if it doesn't help. I think people are way too self-absorbed with fantasies of thei own importance. I think it is very rude when someone says hello and the other ignores them. Back to kindergarten for you (Do we need to pop in a Barney video?)
  11. by   inspir8tion
    I was a student nurse intern in the OR for 10 months. And at the beginning, I did the same thing, nod, smile and say hello. And the same thing happened to me. I introduced myself to one woman in the lunch room with a bunch of people around and asked what her name was. She said, in all seriousness, "I don't have a name". I continued to be polite to people and worked hard at my job and tried to learn and soak up as much as I could while I was there. Once I passed the NCLEX, I worked one or two more days in the OR as an intern. That same woman from the lunch room smiled, laughed and congratulated me wholeheartedly. Go figure. I am on a med/surg floor until my OR program starts on the 25th of this month and when I leave for work, I always run into someone from the OR walking to the parking lot and they always wave and smile at me now.

    Hang in there!
  12. by   RN1263
    my mom was a cardiac perfusionist in open heart surgery and she would come home all upset sometimes, because on more than one occasion a surgeon she had just worked a 6 hr. case w/ wouldn't acknowledge her presence in the hallway afterward? .....frankly, their full of themselves and it rubs off onto some nurses i believe....SAD!
  13. by   OR male nurse
    Hi,

    Your description is very similar to where I work. Most of the time I don't acknowledge many of the surgeons. They are mostly primadonnas who brag about their yachts, lake houses, and 2 week vacations to Europe. Many of them are big babies who whine about every little thing. Most of the time I simply scrub the surgical site, do the time out and sit quietly doing my paperwork and then blend into the wall without saying one word during the surgery.
    I've stopped running around trying to please them, because you aren't going to get anywhere. I used to say Good morning Dr..so and so only to get the blank stare, so I stopped and only speak when I am spoken to. It seems to be safer that way. Among the nurses and surgical scrubs life is normal. We all get along, say hello to each other, each lunch together and are civil.
    I think my cold shoulder attitude is working because after I stopped speaking and saying hello first, several of the surgeons say hello to me first and I always respond back. However I still don't join the discussions during surgery because I feel safer just to sit back and keep my mouth shut. No matter what, you are going to have nice surgeons who make you feel like part of the team, and jackass surgeons who will always treat you like a second class citizen. Simply ignore those guys and go about your happy little life without letting them get to you. It's always something with these kinds of surgeons.... either the room is too cold, or it's too hot. You don't have the correct tissue pickups with the little right handed doo dad that they want, or the camera is too fuzzy and they want another one when doing a laparoscopic surgery.
    Just do your job to the best of your ability and remember that you aren't there to please the surgeon. You are there for your patient.

    My view
  14. by   debbieuk
    hi everyone

    i was reading these messages and they made me feel alot better. i fell in love with the OR as a student and went back as an RN and i have to say that even in the UK the staff in the OR are THE SAME!!!

    there are people that don't speak to me now and i have worked there for nearly a year. i have to say it is nurses rather than surgeons although we have some that can speak to you one day and not the other.

    i also thought it was me and maybe they didn't like me and then i thought it was the whole junior staff nurse higherarchy thing but now i think sod it. if you don't want to talk you don't have to. i just make sure that i am friendly and i ALWAYS talk to our new staff.

    debbie

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