The Ones That Take Your Breath Away.

This happens to me quite often. I don't know if it is because I am such a new nurse, or if it is for some other reason, but my co-workers always tease me about being the one to keep up with everything through the obituaries. I often browse the internet at work during my down time and will, unfortunately, find names of patients we have cared for. I remember names very well.

I have been in Oncology for nearly 9 months now and there have been several cases like you speak of. Some I came in on after all hope had been lost, some I really prayed for that same miracle the pt and their family was praying for. No matter what, getting close to a patient and then hearing they lost the battle is always an emotional experience. I have mixed feelings on it everytime. It is something you can't really explain until you experience it, but at the same time, I have learned so much from those patients. About myself, about life, etc.

I suppose it will always be that way. You grow to love these people. I guess if a day came where it didn't make me feel that way, I'd know it was time to get out.