I'm so sorry to hear how critical she is. It's such a tough situation. It's hard to conceptualize that this is happening to your friend. I must admit, at times I tend to forget who these people are, and that they are someones mother, child, friend, or sister, and how they were once normal, regular healthy people. I recently lost an uncle (actually really close friend's father, who I've known my entire life). I was there when the ambulance took him away, and in the ER with his wife and children. When I saw the ER crew assume his care, they seemed so indifferent towards him, and the family. I wanted to cry and yell at them at the same time. I know they had to do their job, but I know in Onc., it's a different environment. I think I'm babbling, but what I'm saying is, I hope they're treating her with dignity. And I think this experience has made me more sensitive to the emotional needs of family. These aren't just patients, they are people. It's so important to remember.
Whatever happens, make sure her husband is well informed of what is going on, and what rights to decision making he has. Cancer is a funny (well not really) thing; it's very unpredictible. Keep praying, if you believe in a higher being.