What's the weirdest name you've heard a patient name her baby?

I had heard of twins like this, regina and vagina.

Heather

Liberty Bell born on July 4th

I HAD A PATIENT THAT NAMED HER BABY "JESUS, LORD CHRIST THE CHRISTIAN", OH, BY THE WAY, SHE WAS SCHIZOPHRENIC

"TARANTULA" Yes spelled EXACTLY like that and pronounced the same way!! I cannot explain it. It has been talked about for years.

Here in the still-frozen north (yes, it snowed yesterday in Manitoba!), we see a goodly number of little aboriginal boys running around named after European hockey players... Jaromirs, Teemus, Pavels and so on. (Their remote communities only get CBC television, so they watch a LOT of Hockey Night in Canada! ) I've met a little girl named Vidalia (but it was her mom who made me want to cry!!! ). We also have a number of kids named after cartoon characters and just recently had one such child in our unit for post-op monitoring. What's cute at five days isn't so cute at five decades. Don't people think of these things? Anyway, the most unfortunate little girl I know of is a toddler named Cherish Maya Beaver. I'd be changin' that if I were her...

I, too, have heard those Femalé stories! I also know that, tragically, fools do go in for soap opera names. Ironically these fads end up becoming normalised, so that the trendy names are suddenly themselves mainstream. Witness the legions of girls, now in secondary school, named Ashley; or the Mackenzie’s populating kindergartens everywhere. If one really wants to be different, then I suppose a moniker like Susan or Michael is probably unheard of anymore!
I did go to school with children who had names like Atul or Werner, which were quite ordinary within their own cultures (Middle Eastern and Austrian, respectively). Sadly, such first names opened up these fellows to ridicule in Canadian Suburbia. I remember it being common to insult one by calling him “a tool”, and as for my European friend, well, you can imagine all the Oscar Meyer taunts…
My wife and I gave our boys traditional Celtic names, and carefully chose those that were phonetic, lest they be butchered in spelling or pronunciation by North American Anglophones. They again, Irish Americans have developed a nosology of “Irish” names (e.g., Colleen, Shannon, Erin, etc.) that would not be used in the Emerald Isle itself. I have also read of the predominantly African American trend of inventing one-of-a-kind names. Perhaps this is how language evolves.
I am surprised (perhaps “distressed” would be a better word) that poor, ignorant and uneducated people could use names like Bilirubin. I do not know whether this is another urban myth or not, but I have even been told of baby names like Syphilis and Chlamydia!
By the way, I know baby Placenta Afterbirth very well. I delivered her. Her mother’s name is Lochia Rubra, but she goes by the nickname Flo(w).

Folks, I think we have a winner.



Heather

I have seen some of the sweetest and some of the strangest names.
But here is the kicker. Many years ago we had a patient who was trying to come up with a name, she already had Lee, but needed a middle name, one of the nurses told her "he is skinny like a pickle!" well guess what is on the birth certificate.,
Lee Pickle i want put the last name.

Poor child.

Well,
At the facility that I work in we had one woman who delivered her last 3 children and each one of them had been given 12 names. Each one though had a similar first name:
FUQUA

FUQUANEE
FUQUALLA

Now if you sound them out just right the poor kids are not going to be called very nice names on the school yard.


One interesting name I heard was "Treasure".

We get silly names down here too, like; Melaena.