What's the craziest thing a patient or family member has said to you?

Fyreflie · Oct 31, 2012

Hahaha!! I had one recently--young girl, 18 maybe, dad not involved, grandma accompanying for support. She did really well, pushed like a champ, barely tore. Grandma kept on getting riiiight in there watching what was going on, super excited and emotional. When it was a over, baby skin to skin etc. she looked at me and practically gasped "that was almost better than sex! I have to go have a cigarette!" and went outside to do just that. Me and the docs all had to excuse ourselves soon after that to have some tears of mirth--and I passed on to her next nurse to keep an ear out for more inappropriate comments cause she kept making weird remarks like that.

Sun0408, ASN, RN · Oct 31, 2012

Not an OB nurse but enjoyed reading your stories.. The OP takes the cake LOL.. I don't really have anything like that, in trauma we see and hear alot but the most often spoken words is "why is he/she in soo much pain".. My only answer for such a question is because they just had surgery..

I am very supportive of questions and generally don't think there is a dumb question but come on people, you were cut from sternum to groin or something similar...Of course it is gonna hurt. Common sense has went out the window for some people :)

tokmom, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2012

I think out of my 15 years, the one thing that really seemed the strangest to me was the following story:
I had a middle aged married couple. Both were employed, and in fairly responsible jobs. She had done well all during labor, and she reached 10cm without inicident. So, we started talking about pushing. I explained what I needed from her, and they both listened attentively. The next contraction came, and she push amazingly well for a primip, so I was full of praise. Then comes the weirdness. The husband looked at her, looked at me, and asked, "Why, exactly, are you making her do this?" I was a bit confused, and asked him what he meant. "Why are you making her do this? What's it for?" I was absolutely shocked at this point, and responded, "To get the baby out." He was enraged. "Are you kidding me? There's not a better way?" Umm, no. "Well, how in the h@)) long is she supposed to do it?" Umm, until the baby comes out. He was not at all happy with this, and muttered about the idiocy of modern medicine, we put a man on the moon, why couldn't we come up with a better way, etc. I kept feeling like I must be on Candid Camera. The wife seemed just as confused as he, but at least she was nice. I've heard lots of crazy stuff, much of it that would have been at home on the set of Jerry Springer, but that one definitely confused me the most.
So, what's been said to you that really made you say, "What the heck?":down:

That's about the time you call facilities and have them bring in the shop vac. :rolleyes: I bet pushing would not be so bad afterall, lol. Beats sucking out junior!

LobotRN, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2012

Too true! What makes me say "what the heck?" over and over is something I hear at least once every couple of shifts. I work med surg, lots of knees and hips, gastric bypass, appys, and plastics. I can't even count any more how many times I have heard something to the effect of, "What? Why isn't she still sedated? You're NOT going to sedate my loved one for the first 24 hours after surgery? They are in too much pain, you've got to sedate them! You are supposed to keep them sedated!" Ummmm, not gonna happen. See, to be sedated you must have a certain level of monitoring which we do not do on the unit. I will do everything to control their pain to a tolerable level so that they can get up and walk....

WHAAAAT?!?!?!?! MY LOVED ONE HAS TO GET OUT OF BED? You can't do that! You can't!"

Good luck trying to teach at this point about avoiding post operative complications...DVT/PE, ileus, etc.

Sheesh. ;P

dirtyhippiegirl, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2012

When I worked in the ER, we had a girl come in claiming to be nine months pregnant and in labor. We turf her to l&d who immediately turfs her back, stating that she's not pregnant.

She kept claiming she was in labor while down in the ER, hysterical, trying to push, etc. Psych consult to see whether this was psychosis or? She finally calmed down enough to admit that she'd been faking the whole thing to "keep" her boyfriend and couldn't we just write a note saying that she'd had a miscarriage?

She started back up again as soon as her mom and boyfriend charged into the ER looking for the laboring mom-to-be.

We finally had security escort her out, all the while she's still huffing and "pushing."

I wondered at the time if this is the sort of desperation that pushes women to steal babies? Thankfully, mom and her boyfriend saw right through the act.

echoRNC711, BSN · Nov 1, 2012

Just today my boss was telling me about a 91 yr old pt that attended our cardiac rehab. We encourage them to set a goal.He was end stage CHF, pretty feeble but had a dream to one day still be able to hit a tennis ball .

To facilitate this, she and another nurse drove him to a nearby tennis court so he could complete his "bucket list ". He tipped a couple of balls and as they led him back to the car he leaned over still puffing from exertion and said "any chance I could touch your breasts? ". I guess that bucket list was bigger than they knew!! Hey.....at 91 , the guy could still dream big!

jadedzombienurse · Nov 1, 2012

When I asked a pt if she wanted anything to drink, she replied,

" I DON"T WANT NONE OF YOUR KOOL-AID, JIM JONES..."

monkeybug · Nov 1, 2012

Hahaha!! I had one recently--young girl, 18 maybe, dad not involved, grandma accompanying for support. She did really well, pushed like a champ, barely tore. Grandma kept on getting riiiight in there watching what was going on, super excited and emotional. When it was a over, baby skin to skin etc. she looked at me and practically gasped "that was almost better than sex! I have to go have a cigarette!" and went outside to do just that. Me and the docs all had to excuse ourselves soon after that to have some tears of mirth--and I passed on to her next nurse to keep an ear out for more inappropriate comments cause she kept making weird remarks like that.

That is hilarious!

monkeybug · Nov 1, 2012

Not an OB nurse but enjoyed reading your stories.. The OP takes the cake LOL.. I don't really have anything like that, in trauma we see and hear alot but the most often spoken words is "why is he/she in soo much pain".. My only answer for such a question is because they just had surgery..
I am very supportive of questions and generally don't think there is a dumb question but come on people, you were cut from sternum to groin or something similar...Of course it is gonna hurt. Common sense has went out the window for some people :)

I used to get frustrated when people expected laboring patients to be totally pain free. I finally told someone, "Look, you're basically shoving a St. Bernard through a cat door, OK? It's going to at least be a little uncomfortable!"

LisaStew · Nov 1, 2012

My favorite comment as a Med/Surg nurse still after all these years is when: a young man early 30's had shot himself in the abdomen and then was bragging to me and the rest of staff what he was going to spend his life insurance money on once he got it. I hated to inform his that he had to be dead and usually not from his own doing to collect life insurance, he looked up at me and said " I think you're wrong, I think they will bring the check this afternoon, I already called them." Much to my dismay the insurance adjuster actually showed up (for what reason I'm not sure of) and told this young man that "you are crazy and need to be in a hospital, but we do not pay anyone that is still breathing/alive a policy". The insurance representative left they young man cursed at me then left AMA. I was informed that he was later placed on a 72 hour hold.........will never forget the look on his face of disbelief that he was not going to get paid for shooting himself~~

monkeybug · Nov 1, 2012

Too true! What makes me say "what the heck?" over and over is something I hear at least once every couple of shifts. I work med surg, lots of knees and hips, gastric bypass, appys, and plastics. I can't even count any more how many times I have heard something to the effect of, "What? Why isn't she still sedated? You're NOT going to sedate my loved one for the first 24 hours after surgery? They are in too much pain, you've got to sedate them! You are supposed to keep them sedated!" Ummmm, not gonna happen. See, to be sedated you must have a certain level of monitoring which we do not do on the unit. I will do everything to control their pain to a tolerable level so that they can get up and walk....
WHAAAAT?!?!?!?! MY LOVED ONE HAS TO GET OUT OF BED? You can't do that! You can't!"
Good luck trying to teach at this point about avoiding post operative complications...DVT/PE, ileus, etc.
Sheesh. ;P

I remember one family of a total abdominal hysterectomy patient years ago. The patient had a lot of gas pain, so I was encouraging her to walk. The family got rather peeved at me, and one of them asked couldn't we just do a rectal tube! NO! Get out of the bed, dang it!