What's the craziest thing a patient or family member has said to you?

Specialties Ob/Gyn

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I think out of my 15 years, the one thing that really seemed the strangest to me was the following story:

I had a middle aged married couple. Both were employed, and in fairly responsible jobs. She had done well all during labor, and she reached 10cm without inicident. So, we started talking about pushing. I explained what I needed from her, and they both listened attentively. The next contraction came, and she push amazingly well for a primip, so I was full of praise. Then comes the weirdness. The husband looked at her, looked at me, and asked, "Why, exactly, are you making her do this?" I was a bit confused, and asked him what he meant. "Why are you making her do this? What's it for?" I was absolutely shocked at this point, and responded, "To get the baby out." He was enraged. "Are you kidding me? There's not a better way?" Umm, no. "Well, how in the h@)) long is she supposed to do it?" Umm, until the baby comes out. He was not at all happy with this, and muttered about the idiocy of modern medicine, we put a man on the moon, why couldn't we come up with a better way, etc. I kept feeling like I must be on Candid Camera. The wife seemed just as confused as he, but at least she was nice. I've heard lots of crazy stuff, much of it that would have been at home on the set of Jerry Springer, but that one definitely confused me the most.

So, what's been said to you that really made you say, "What the heck?":down:

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.
Just today my boss was telling me about a 91 yr old pt that attended our cardiac rehab. We encourage them to set a goal.He was end stage CHF, pretty feeble but had a dream to one day still be able to hit a tennis ball .

To facilitate this, she and another nurse drove him to a nearby tennis court so he could complete his "bucket list ". He tipped a couple of balls and as they led him back to the car he leaned over still puffing from exertion and said "any chance I could touch your breasts? ". I guess that bucket list was bigger than they knew!! Hey.....at 91 , the guy could still dream big!

Can't blame a guy for trying!

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.
When I worked in the ER, we had a girl come in claiming to be nine months pregnant and in labor. We turf her to l&d who immediately turfs her back, stating that she's not pregnant.

She kept claiming she was in labor while down in the ER, hysterical, trying to push, etc. Psych consult to see whether this was psychosis or? She finally calmed down enough to admit that she'd been faking the whole thing to "keep" her boyfriend and couldn't we just write a note saying that she'd had a miscarriage?

She started back up again as soon as her mom and boyfriend charged into the ER looking for the laboring mom-to-be.

We finally had security escort her out, all the while she's still huffing and "pushing."

I wondered at the time if this is the sort of desperation that pushes women to steal babies? Thankfully, mom and her boyfriend saw right through the act.

Those are the patients that always scared me and worried me the most, because years ago one of our patients was killed and her baby was cut from her abdomen. You never know what they are capable of. Our hospital took it very seriously, and if we had one, her picture would get posted in the nurseries and postpartum nurses desk, and we'd notify the other hospital in town, also.

Not to say that it cannot have its funny moments. We had a young nurse who was very funny and brash. The patient came in c/o contractions, bleeding and no prenatal care. The nurse checked her cervix and just as she's telling the woman that she's not dilated at all, a gush of clear fluid goes all over the nurse's hand and in the bed. The nurse thinks, Oh no, her water's broken. They obviously cannot find FHTs, so they drag the ultrasound in, and don't find a baby. The nurse stood in the nurses station and ranted, "She PEED on me, d*** it! She PEED on me!" We all thought it was hilarious. Then change of shift comes, and the nurse who took over was very meek, mild, quiet and shy. She goes in and has to reiterate what the doctor has said, that the woman is NOT pregnant. The woman looks at Shy Nurse and says "But what about the bleeding? I'm bleeding! What do I do about the bleeding?" Shy Nurse said, "Have you thought about trying tampons?":roflmao:

Specializes in Public Health, L&D, NICU.
My favorite comment as a Med/Surg nurse still after all these years is when: a young man early 30's had shot himself in the abdomen and then was bragging to me and the rest of staff what he was going to spend his life insurance money on once he got it. I hated to inform his that he had to be dead and usually not from his own doing to collect life insurance, he looked up at me and said " I think you're wrong, I think they will bring the check this afternoon, I already called them." Much to my dismay the insurance adjuster actually showed up (for what reason I'm not sure of) and told this young man that "you are crazy and need to be in a hospital, but we do not pay anyone that is still breathing/alive a policy". The insurance representative left they young man cursed at me then left AMA. I was informed that he was later placed on a 72 hour hold.........will never forget the look on his face of disbelief that he was not going to get paid for shooting himself~~

People never cease to amaze me. You burst his bubble!:sarcastic:

Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

I haven't seen much since I'm still a student but I was helping a nurse in pre-op when he asked a young (18) woman if she would be okay to receive blood. She said, "From someone else?! That's gross!" He said "Well, if you lose blood in surgery, they may have to give you some to replace it. Are you okay with this?" Then she says "Can't you just hook my Mom and I up and I'll get hers? You can do that, right?"

My word!! It took 10 minutes for both of us to explain to her where blood comes from, how it is processed and tested and how we give it...and how it DOESN'T happen like in the bad movies and old TV shows. I held my tongue when I thought about mentioning to her about watching the science channel once in a while.

I had a patient in the ICU who was a new quadriplegic from a work accident. The neurosurgeon explained to the family over and over again that the patient would never be able to use his arms or legs again because his spinal cord had been irreversibly injured. The father of the patient finally told the doctor that he just needed to give his son a "spine transplant." Those of us who heard the statement had to bite our tongues and compose ourselves. It is sad that so many people have no idea whatsoever how the human body works.

The insurance representative left they young man cursed at me then left AMA. I was informed that he was later placed on a 72 hour hold.........will never forget the look on his face of disbelief that he was not going to get paid for shooting himself~~

Kinda makes you want to take up a collection for him to get it right, doesn't it? ;)

I think out of my 15 years, the one thing that really seemed the strangest to me was the following story:

--------original post-----------

So, what's been said to you that really made you say, "What the heck?":down:

This story exemplifies the problem with an entitled attitude. People who are used to buying the best of everything or simply GETTING the best of everything feel that there is always an easier, faster way for absolutely anything.

Why should THEY work hard for anything?

Your story is right up there with the people I see routinely who complain of GERD s/s and if a PPI doesn't work magically all by itself, they look at you like you've got six heads when you tell them what they should be changing in their diet and lifestyle to decrease symptoms.

Give up cigarettes? Are you MAD?! Alcohol.....cut back on acidic foods....stop stuffing their 5'2" 300 lb selves while reclining on couch 20 minutes before bedtime? INSANITY!!

"ISN'T THERE A PILL FOR THAT??"

Back to your original story: can't help but think that a good response to the husband's "isn't there a better way?!" would be to tell him that you can now teleport the fetus from the mother-to-be into the father-to-be and HE could push the little darling out, to save his wife the strain ;)

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

End of life care is where I find the biggest disconnect between reality and expectations.

Since we as a society don't discuss death and dying, most people don't have a clue about how ugly, messy and just downright painful it is for pt AND family.

The majority of people still think that you just close your eyes, and off you go. The light bulb is on, and then it's not. I wish I had a dollar for everytime somebody asked me "how long's this gonna take"?

Specializes in OR.

I once had someone complain to me about when she had fractured her ankle and had to have surgery. Her nurse had absolutely no idea what she was doing! She stuck a needle in her arm and just left it there! This was someone who actually became a CNA at one point. I was in such disbelief, I didn't even feel like explaining to her the process of inserting an IV with a retractable needle.

One day I overheard a patient's mother talking to the anesthesiologist about why she refused to sign her daughter's consent form. She wasn't about to give the surgeon permission to kill her daughter! During their pre-op visit, that surgeon never mentioned to them that she was going to kill the daughter during surgery! Even after both the surgeon and anesthesiologist explained that death is a slight risk with any surgery and also that people take chances every single day just by waking up in the morning that they might die, the mother still would not stop yelling at them about killing her daughter. They somehow finally got her to sign the consent form, and I really wanted to see the look on her face when she was reunited with her daughter to discover that she was, in fact, still alive to tell about it.

Specializes in Labor & Deliery.

I once had a dad ask me, immediately following delivery, if we could "put a tracking chip" in his son (for child safety, in case he got lost?). His rationale was that "in the military, they do it all the time, so I know that technology's out there". I told him, with a straight face, that microchip placement was not a service the hospital currently offered.

I work in trauma now and so there are very few stories that shock me anymore. However when I was in school I worked as an aide on a GI surgery floor. We had a patient who had a lot of GI problems (i never knew her back story, as an aide I wasn't told), she ended up having a colostomy from her surgeries. I was in there to empty the bag and I was just explaining to her about how you empty it and basics like that since it was new to her. She then started asking me a lot of questions about other care for the colostomy which i defered to the nurse but her last question was if it was possible to have sex through the stoma and if it would be similar to anal sex. I didn't even know how to respond other than to ask the nurse or Dr.

Specializes in OB, Peds, Med Surg and Geriatric Nsg.

I had one patient who happened to be a nursing student (not sure how far she is in the nursing program). She was already fully dilated and she fairly did well for being a primip. I went over the couple regarding pushing and the delivery of the baby which both parents were receptive to teaching. So, as she was pushing, she was asking the doctor if the baby is moving down at all so our OB suggested that she reached her hand in there to feel the baby's head which the patient did. The OB jokingly said, "Oops! I think you just pushed him back." The patient was like, "Oh my! I did? Now, I have to push more to bring him down further". We had to tell her that it was a joke and she still looked at us that we are just being nice to say that.

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