weaning help

  1. I hope no one get offende dby me asking this question, but i figured u guys would know.

    MY dd is 13 months yet she will not wean, but lately i feel like i am not making enough milk at ;least to me. She eats all day but mostly at night, I am starting to wonder if i am just a pacifier for her. Well at her last appointment, they said she was 18.8lb which is small.They want me to see a nutritionist(sp), IN 3 months and check to see if she has gain weight. She does eat solids, but she is very picky. She has never had a bottle or pacifier, she hates them.


    Well i went on a trip , i left at 1am thursday and came back friday at 11 pm, because she would not eat. she ate a little but not much. that night a couple hours before i came home she took a cup of milk, but after she saw me, THAT WAS IT:imbar .

    What am i too do, i fix her a cup of milk and she hands it right back to me. I express milk in cup. still no go.

    Any suggestions would be great.
    Last edit by Godswill on Aug 1, '03
    •  
  2. 22 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Hmmm I have to ask: what is her diet like? By now, she should have a quite varied diet of foods/beverages and breast milk more of a supplement/adjunct to them. You might want to examine WHY you wish to wean. If it's purely because you think your milk is insufficient/inadequate for her, then maybe you don't want to wean, but to ensure she takes in more table foods, e.g. fruits, veggies, proteins, etc. Maybe a visit w/your ped or a dietician would help you decide and plan her eating appropriately, if you feel she is not eating well enough.

    MANY kids do not wean til after their 2nd year, not because breastmilk is their primary source of nutrition for them really, but because of the comfort and bonding it brings to mom and baby. It's up to each family as to what works best for them. If you really want to wean, it may take some time. 13 months is tough because they have a routine going and they like things the way they are. Often La Leche League leaders are VERY helpful in assisting you with the process. I won't be much help cause my kids self-weaned at around 15-16 months. So it was never a problem for me. Try www.lalecheleague.org for leaders in your area if interested. Meantime, really examine her diet and see where improvements may be made, if needed.

    Good luck to you!!!!!
  4. by   AndyLyn
    Godswill,
  5. by   Godswill
    Thank u,

    I find she eats well, but after i was told she was small for her age, i felt as though my milk was not good enough for her, She loves fruit, and veggies, bread and meat. I give her these things. BUt she will not touch baby food- or the baby cereals. I was fine until they told me she was under weight. (oh and not to mention, HER IRON was 9) I was even prepared to nurse her until the end of the year. I just want her to function with out having to fall a sleep with my booby in her mouth at night, lol, she will even wake up to nurse in the middle of the night. OH and yes, i must say it has given us bond beyond words.

    Thanks Again
    Last edit by Godswill on Aug 1, '03
  6. by   AndyLyn
    Godswill,
    I agree with SmilingBluEyes, you might need to get a nutritional eval, or at least concentrate on getting her to eat solids if you can. I guess I would say that if you're ready to wean her, I mean really ready and tired of nursing all the time, then I've found the best way is to just be done, say "that's it, no more." My kids all self-weaned at 10, 10 and 12 months so it wasn't hard for us either, but I've learned that my kids did best (like with potty training, or sleeping in their own beds) if I just made up my mind that they were ready, whether they wanted to be, or not!

    Not much help, I know, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about you, and wishing you good luck. Aren't toddlers fun?
  7. by   Godswill
    AndyLYN_ Thank U I have been think about doing just what u said. BUt oh how it breaks my heart to see her cry. I dread getting her out my bed, another thing i wish i had not started,lol. My son was three by the time i got him out,lol
  8. by   Katnip
    If you do it cold turkey, try to steel yourself to the crying. For a short time it gets worse. But as soon as they see they can't manipulate you through crying, it gets a lot better.

    It is really, really tough to think that you're causing your baby misery, but it won't be long before you're both fine.

    Good luck!
  9. by   bagladyrn
    If the problem is only that she is "small" for her age, discuss with the doctor and/or nutritionist whether this may just be normal for her. My son always measured as underweight,(and I was Elsie the cow when it came to breastfeeding) and was also short for his age until he hit puberty (I'm talking below the chart for weight even when short). This was in spite of eating anything and everything. Now that he's grown, he's 6' tall and still only weighs 150-160 (at 25 yrs old)- had to work out with weights to get UP to that. Sometimes it's just their normal body type.
  10. by   fourbirds4me
    I think you are facing the stigma our society tries to put on moms for breastfeeding. If she is taking an adequate amount of food I would only try to wean if both you and she are ready. I would try to maybe cut breastfeeding down to nap time and bed time and only offer the breast after she has eaten.

    Your breastmilk is perfect and the closeness you are providing during that time is truly what she needs.

    If you truly want to wean I would caution against going cold turkey... this could set you both up for some serious frustration and clogged ducts and mastitis for you. Eliminate 1 feeding every few days would be the best way to go about that.

    Good luck and if you need further support pm me.... I have extendly breastfed 4 children maybe I can be of help
  11. by   Browneyedgirl
    It's a shame that you were made to feel that your milk is "NOT GOOD ENOUGH"

    As for being "small for her age", some children are just smaller than the average child. Is she growing appropriately for her birth weight? Does she eat healthy foods?

    I would RUN to the nearest La Leche League.
  12. by   memphispanda
    What they have told us is to watch for a change in the growth curve...as others have said some kids are just smaller. And breastfed babies do tend to be a bit smaller than bottlefed babies as well--many places use a separate growth chart for a breastfed baby.

    If you have access to it, maybe you could see how she is growing for yourself. If she typically was at say the 25th percentile for weight, and has dropped to below the 5th percentile, then there may be a problem. But if she has always been small, then she may just be small. What was her birth weight?
    Last edit by memphispanda on Aug 1, '03
  13. by   Spidey's mom
    I would call La Leche League too. If you truly want to wean, there is a way to do it that is kind to both of you.

    I would question the weight thing. If she is eating other foods, as you say she is, then I would say she is fine. And none of my kids liked baby food or those baby cereals. They liked real food.

    My son just turned two and is 23 pounds. He eats everything in sight and is still breastfeeding . .in fact we just finished and he is running around with his big brother now.

    We also co-sleep with our toddler and actually love it. We also have a 20 year old and an 18 year old and a 14 year old . . .and then we have our toddler. This time is going by so fast and I've experienced it 3 times prior to this and I just want to slow things down and enjoy him.

    I nursed my kids until they self-weaned . . .18 months to 3 years. I realize this will truly be my last child and so want to savor this special time together. (Unless we adopt an infant while I'm still breastfeeding my son).


    It could happen.

    steph
  14. by   Godswill
    Thank U all for your suggestions. I will be calling the LLL Monday, at birth she was 6lbs 4oz she was a little baby, she has never been big. I think I am just going to go as long as she want to. BUt i Think by december i may try to make her wean if she does not. But if she won't give i guess i can give her more time. I just want her to grow Again thank u all and u guys have no idea how much u help me still feel good about breastfeeding. Thank u all so much

close