The youngest new mother's you've seen - page 3

We just recently had a 14 year old on our unit. I'm sure for some of you that's not uncommon, and I was warned that in our hosptial especially, it's not uncommon (I think there might have been a 13... Read More

  1. Visit  caregiver1977 profile page
    0
    Quote from rn/writer
    I took care of a 15 yo. It was her second child. Her sister had been in several months earlier. She was 14.

    Mom's reaction? She was thrilled to have to a couple of grandbabies to fuss over. When she'd had the older girl fifteen years earlier, she wasn't ready to be a mom. But now she was physically and mentally and emotional ready to function as a parent.

    I often see families where parenting skips a generation. Grandma takes care of her daughter's child. Someday, that teen (now in her early thirties) will step in and care for her daughter's child. And so it goes.

    Not the best plan, but at least someone is taking care of the babies. Far worse are the girls who are on their own or who are dependent on people who don't really care about them or their children. Those are the ones I fear for.
    No, it is not the best plan, because some of those grandmothers who end up taking care of their daughter's children still have children to raise of their own. So grandma ends up being "mother" and "grandma." Some grandmas are not physically, financially, or emotionally able to do that, so grandma ends up dumping their darling newborn grandchildren on her other children when she gets tired or feed up. Nobody talks much about what these 12, 13, 14 year old "aunts" have to go through.

    I am speaking from experience. I was one of those 13 year old "aunts" and it was hard. I was up at midnight or 2 a. m. with a screaming baby when I had to be at school the next morning. If she acted up in public I was often blamed. I was expected to spend part of my babysitting money to help financially with this baby. I remember my mom once bought toys for her grandbaby when I clearly needed shoes. Even the shoe repair man said he could do nothing with them. When I asked her about buying me some shoes and showed her how raggety they were, she told me, "well, I'm not buying shoes today." I HAD TO GLUE THEM BACK TOGETHER!! Her father was a deadbeat completely, and at one time her mother wasn't much better.

    I don't know what the answer(s) to this is, but I just wanted to share a perspective.
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  3. Visit  Kaci82 profile page
    1
    I know I am late at replying. However, usually when a 9, 10, 11, 12 y/o is pregnant, she was raped.
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  4. Visit  trice314 profile page
    0
    I work on a pp floor and we have teen moms all the time. To the point were 16 is the norm. We have had ppl as young as 12.
  5. Visit  rn/writer profile page
    0
    No, it is not the best plan, because some of those grandmothers who end up taking care of their daughter's children still have children to raise of their own. So grandma ends up being "mother" and "grandma." Some grandmas are not physically, financially, or emotionally able to do that, so grandma ends up dumping their darling newborn grandchildren on her other children when she gets tired or feed up. Nobody talks much about what these 12, 13, 14 year old "aunts" have to go through.

    I am speaking from experience. I was one of those 13 year old "aunts" and it was hard. I was up at midnight or 2 a. m. with a screaming baby when I had to be at school the next morning. If she acted up in public I was often blamed. I was expected to spend part of my babysitting money to help financially with this baby. I remember my mom once bought toys for her grandbaby when I clearly needed shoes. Even the shoe repair man said he could do nothing with them. When I asked her about buying me some shoes and showed her how raggety they were, she told me, "well, I'm not buying shoes today." I HAD TO GLUE THEM BACK TOGETHER!! Her father was a deadbeat completely, and at one time her mother wasn't much better.

    I don't know what the answer(s) to this is, but I just wanted to share a perspective.
    I'm sorry the tail end of your own childhood years were hijacked by your sister and your mother. The "skip-a-generation" parenting system is not a great plan. But it's usually better for the baby than depending on a young teen mom with no structure and no safety net.

    The inner city community seems destined for self destruction with few dads around to help raise their children on a consistent daily basis. The "state" is not a good daddy. One part of a father's role is to help kids learn the connection between cause and effect, so that they become motivated to do good and healthy things and avoid the choices that will harm them. The state does a terrible job of that. There is almost no accountability until the hammer drops and it's just about too late.

    Kids (young teens) having kids is symptom of a society that is heading in a dangerous direction.


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