making fun of patients

  1. i am currently doing an externship on l&d and maternity and often hear the nurses making fun of the patients. such as " omg shes 23 and on her 4th" or " wow shes too young to have children, she shouldnt have them at all let alone be on her second." is this they way most floors are run. Being a young mother myself this makes me uncomfortable and i would not want to return there to have children knowing i will be talked about. * shrugs*
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  2. 67 Comments

  3. by   renerian
    I have never worked on OB but we did not do that on the floor I worked on.

    renerian
  4. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    First of all jaxm0mma, welcome to the boards!

    What you're hearing is not really making fun of the patients. It's a culmination of experiences with what we deal with and the patterns we see. Quite frankly, I get tired of having to request that a patient turn off *her* cartoons so that I can do her discharge teaching. It's more like frustration and powerlessness we're expressing.

    Being a young mother myself this makes me uncomfortable and i would not want to return there to have children knowing i will be talked about.
    And no offense to you, but in regards to the above statement, good. I personally don't want to see you back until you have the capacity and abilities to take care of yourself and your baby, by yourself.

    And before the flames begin, I was a young mother myself too. Thee's a big difference between the people that use the adversity of being a young parent to make them strive to be better people, and those that use it as an excuse to remain stagnant and dependent. It is the latter of which we speak. If you don't fit into that group, I wouldn't worry about it.

    Heather
  5. by   mark_LD_RN
    we are not making fun of patients. we are just stating facts usually do you know how many 12,13 and 14 yr old patients i have had or how many 19 20 and 21 yr olds i had that were on their 3rd or 4th child. I have had a 22 yr old in with her 7th child recently. most often they are not able to care for theses patients physically or monitarily most are on welfare and medicaid so we are paying for them. IMHO 12 thru 18 yr olds should not be getting pregnant and 19 - 23 yr olds need to consider it carefully before chossing to do so. People should not have kids until they are able to care for them physically and monitarily. especially 12 13 and 14 yr olds their bodies are not ready for it physically.

    we personally had our first one at 19 and second at 21 we paid for it ourselves and cared for them ourselves. but i would not reccommend that route to others and i hate seeing others make that mistake. so when you see nurses talking like that it may just be out of frustration and concern ,not making fun.


    Let me make it perfectly clear though I think it is never ok to make fun of a patient.
  6. by   fergus51
    That's just some healthy venting. I am assuming none of these nurses say that to the patients?

    Frankly, I am torn. I always try to provide non judgmental care to my patients. At the same time, I wish more teenagers did feel some shame at having children without any regard as to how they will care for them.
  7. by   mark_LD_RN
    Fergus I provide nonjudgemental care I treat them the same as any of my other patients ,which is very well i might add. but at the same time i wish there would be less people of that age group having babies. I have been there and done that and wish someone would have warned me earlly on. I love my kids and would not trade them for the world but I had a very hard long diffucult life starting out like we did. it changed my whole life path and career options not to mention the struggles and finacial hardship we had to endure.
  8. by   Cheerio
    I had children young, and never got any flack, but I think it has a lot to do with your personal situation. My first was born at 21, but I was also married and had it together 'up there'
    My roommate in the hospital, was a 19yo single Mom, who was on her second child. I overheard her talking to her friends about 'How much money she would get from welfare for this baby' and how she wished that she knew who's baby this was This was while the nurse was in there, and I think it's these paitents that get the nurses talking. The ones that keep coming back every year or two, the baby gets a new last name and they don't have any interest in birth control.
    I've even been a doula for teen Mom's and have never heard nurses make any 'bad' comments, but have seen them send the social worker in more than once to 'chat'. I think it depends on how you present yourself. Having money isn't everything, emotional and maturity plays a big part in it too.
  9. by   at your cervix
    I would hope that the nurses of whom you speak are not "making fun of the pt's". I have often said "Wow, she is only 23 and she is having her 5th baby." I don't mean this in a judgemental way at all. It is just very unusual-much as it would be if you had a 50 year old woman having a baby. I do agree with the others, however, that it is frustrating to see young girls having several babies and not caring for them. I recently had a 19 yo G4P3 in, her mother was also with her. This pt lives in a homeless shelter with her mother and several brothers and sisters along with all of her children. This pt has come in to the hospital approx 2-3 times per week for the last 2 trimesters of her pregnancy, often she brings her other children who are always dirty, hungry, not wearing shoes, even in winter, no coats, they run around the hospital with no one watching them, even when the grandmother is there. This pt and her mother are always very rude and disrespectful to the nurses, she refuses to leave when she has been discharged, saying that she is in labor and we just won't listen to her, she often makes comments that Medicaid will pay for everything, therefore requests unnecessary things, such as slippers. Once she even asked me for juice, cookies, a sandwich and pudding before I even asked her what her complaint was. I understand that this girl has a lot of problems and there are a lot of other things going on in her life, however, she does not seem to have any desire whatsoever to try to become self-sufficent. It also frustrates me to see that her mother is the same way. This young girl has never been taught any other way. This becomes frustrating to nurses, in this case, yes it is with disgust that I would comment on a young mother with several children. I wish that I could say that there was a solution to this problem, however, unfourtately, I don't think there is!!!!
  10. by   shay
    Welp, I'll be the outspoken ***** in the group. We aren't making fun, sweets, we're blowing off steam. I personally get sick of my tax $$ paying for the latest kid some welfare brood mare pops out at the ripe old age of 21. Gimme a frickin' break. If you are so much of a **** that you don't know who the "baby daddy"is, it's time for some personal growth and reflection, preferably with your LEGS CLOSED.

    Yep, I AM being judgemental. I judge anyone with 5 kids by 21 and on welfare to be irresponsible, immoral, and badly in need of a tubal ligation. Suck it up, baby, we're human and that's reality.

    Come whine to me when you've done my job for 6 years.
  11. by   SmilingBluEyes
    Let me say for the record that I believe: Making fun of patients is unprofessional and should not be tolerated. However, I do think sometimes we all (myself included) exclaim frustration and amazement at some of the unbelievably DYSFUNCTIONAL situations we not only see, but know our tax dollars SUPPORT!!!!

    Young motherhood is not to me, something to be made fun of or scorned............but if someone repeatedly brings innocent lives into her own hellish life which is out of control, it is hard not to exclaim as nurses who see it every day. IMAGINE how SOCIAL WORKERS FEEL! But it should be done discreetly and not without respect for all the patients/families in our care.
  12. by   shay
    Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes
    Let me say for the record that I believe: Making fun of patients is unprofessional and should not be tolerated. However, I do think sometimes we all (myself included) exclaim frustration and amazement at some of the unbelievably DYSFUNCTIONAL situations we not only see, but know our tax dollars SUPPORT!!!!

    Young motherhood is not to me, something to be made fun of or scorned............but if someone repeatedly brings innocent lives into her own hellish life which is out of control, it is hard not to exclaim as nurses who see it every day. IMAGINE how SOCIAL WORKERS FEEL! But it should be done discreetly and not without respect for all the patients/families in our care.
    Exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself, only you did it with slightly less venom. :chuckle

    Young motherhood by itself is not a bad thing. Young motherhood x 5 by age 21 with 5 different men and on AFDC is a bad thing, and quite frankly, the politically correct "approval" of such things is what's wrong with our society in the first place.

    We get sick of it. It is repugnant that a woman should be so loose in morals and judgement that she does not even have an inkling of who the father of her child is, and when questioned what kind of birth control she intends on using postpartum, she replies, "nothing. I don't like what them hormone things do to me." Hmmm. But of course her drug test is positive for THC and cocaine....

    Young motherhood, say an 18 year old in a committed relationship who is a first time mother is not a bad thing. Lots of young mothers do well and have solid families. They, unfortunately, are the EXCEPTION and not the RULE. We see it all the time. Repeat offender, milking the system, no intentions of stopping anytime soon, sees nothing wrong with bringing countless children into this world with no means of financial or emotional support or even an identifiable father figure. It gets old and it tends to make one need to blow off steam. Don't "judge" the nurses until you've walked in OUR shoes, m'dear.
  13. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by shay
    Don't "judge" the nurses until you've walked in OUR shoes, m'dear.
    Ahhh.... I like that.

    And honestly, since I've walked in both people's shoes, the young mother and the frustrated nurse, I'll say anything I damn well please. I've earned my right to do so.

    Heather
  14. by   fergus51
    Completely understand you Mark. I am actually the result of a teenagers unplanned pregnancy, but thankfully she got it togtether.

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