Husbands or S/O's at routine exam - page 6

Wondering what your experiences or facilities policies are about husbands or significant others attending their partners routine gyn exams? I know it is fairly common for the husband to attend some... Read More

  1. by   Snugglibumkins
    Glad it went well. I got here too late to chime in. The family practice doc I work for would often look at the hubby and say 'I need to be here' pointing to the stool at the foot of the bed 'where do you want to be'. It was always kindof funny to see the husbands considering thier choice of HOB or FOB.

    This particular doc is really big on teaching. He always shows the hubbies what the amniotic flood looks like pooling at the cervix, the nitrozine tape, the ferning under the microscope, etc. (Of course, only if mom and dad are interested in all this stuff).
  2. by   LilPeanut
    Quote from TrudyRN
    Quote from KellNY

    I understand the rationale behind it sometimes--you want to ask about abuse, past pregnancies/abortions, drug use, etc. But you need to look at it this way--some people need a support person. Maybe they're incredibly shy. Maybe they were victims of sexual abuse in the past and can't do a pelvic alone. Maybe the couple is really that close, and share things like that. Maybe according to their religion, the husband has to be a part of the medical decision making process. Maybe she doesn't care one way or the other, but the SO is very interested to learn about his partner's body.
    I think it should be up to the patient. I'll even go so far as to say that I really don't think we need to do all that history-taking. Who cares if someone had abortions, previous pregnancies, etc., or what their mother or grandmother died from. Really, what is the real point of all that history?

    Were you being sarcastic?
  3. by   CrunchRN
    Hi Walker Shaw,

    I am glad things worked out so well. It was as it should be in my opinion. Your choice to make.

    I think that exams in the emergency room are a whole different discussion with different implications than a routine visit to the MD office and do not really apply in this situation.
  4. by   dream'n
    O.K., I'm going to be perfectly honest here. As a nurse I am uncomfortable with husbands/SO/etc.. being present during a routine vaginal exam. For some reason it makes me feel strange, BUT I would NEVER let the patient know, or in anyway show my feelings. I believe that it IS the patient's call after all, and I just need to deal and put a smile on my face. Maybe I feel odd about it because it doesn't happen much where I work and as it becomes more common-place I'll get more comfortable with it.
    Last edit by dream'n on Apr 6, '07
  5. by   walker shaw
    Snugglibumkins - Never to late to chime in, IMHO, thanks for your input - DH new where NOT to stand to avoid being in doctor's way, just that neither of us was all that comfortable as to whether he might be able to accompany me, or where it WOULD be permissible for him to stand, IF he asked to watch - glad to hear your family practice doc is the "instructive" type if that's what the patient/partner wants

    CrunchRN - yes, the exam went better than either DH or I had hoped for, in all ways possible - I've got to believe that my GYN truly is one of the good ones

    dream'n - first, I'm glad that you can keep your personal feelings out of the professional setting, and abide by the patients wishes (NOTE: I do NOT mean that comment to be SMART, and I do NOT mean it to be a "put you in your place comment") - as a patient, I just want to say that I appreciate a medical professional being able to handle things that way - way to go!!

    I certainly don't think my GYN felt that way, and if his nurse did, she did an AWSUM job of hiding her feelings - DH said he was made to feel very comfortable, "have a chair hear, wife (me) will be brought back ASAP, watch TV if he want's, etc) - DH was never given the "eye" or told "don't touch," "warned" about anything, etc - his presence was just treated as simply routine, and he and I both appreciated that


    I am curious though, if you will, as to why you think YOU are uncomfortable with a husband / SO being present for a routine vaginal exam (again, I'm NOT trying to be SMART with you) - I suppose my "curiosity" regarding your feelings reflects my and DH's uncertainty as to whether DH could be present, and where he should "position" himself - IE: DH and I were uncertain / uncomfortable with requesting DH presence, because we were not certain how my GYN and his nurse would view our request - would we/DH seem perverted, would it be odd, etc - so since it would have made you feel uncomfortable, I'm trying to figure out why - hope this makes sense - maybe in discussing this both you, I and DH will gain a new found "ease/comfort level" with this.
  6. by   dream'n
    I don't know exactly why I get that uncomfortable feeling with a spouse/SO at routine exams. But I am certainly going to work on getting comfortable, for my patient's sake. I want my patient's to feel that they are the leaders of their own healthcare.

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