Funny OB things people say

OH GOSH....I HAVE A MILLION OF THESE.

The first one that comes to mind is the pt that asked how her baby would breath after the water was broken......same patient called me back in a little while later to say that she thought she heard her baby cry....while still in utero....

I wish I had a penny for every time the patient asks...."will this hurt the baby?" usually in reference to pain meds or the epidural...

and to this day I am still amazed how many adult, well educated women don't know they have 2 holes down there....actually 3....for anyone who is confused....
1. anus
2. vagina
3. urethra

I would guess 20-30% of the average population think they pee/have sex/birth babies/mensturate....all out of the same hole...

Not to be un-funny, but those who have been castrated do have just one opening for urine and blood.

I thought female castration refereed to the removal of the ovaries? I'm confused!

Put me in the confused pile as well- maybe she is referring to female genital mutilation? There is still a seperate urethra and vagina, though. ?????

My turn. I thought it was the total removal of the clitoris, and has nothing to do with the urethra, the vagina, or the anus. Is that correct?

Called pt to tell her that her elective induction at 39.5 weeks has been put on hold.....G3P2

FOB called back 5 min later very upset stating "you can't do this to us....we have spent hundreds of dollers having things engraved with the baby's birthday in it....and we paid to have her parents fly in just for today....I'm gonna sue the hospital for the cost of all this if you don't induce her today"

me "and if she would have gone into labor yesterday would you have sued god?"

HE had no response