Funny OB things people say

In the video of my daughter's birth, you see and hear her screaming just after she's born and in the background you hear my midwife and the nurse laughing about how the midwife got covered in "baby juice." Always makes me smile.

We get lots of pts coming in for their "inducement"!!

But a really good one I have is a direct quote, "Ummm... I was, like, standing in the kitchen, and, ummm, like, I think my mucous plug broke! I was, like, just standing there, and like it starting running down my leg, and like, part of it was just like stuck to my leg!"

I've also got a million!
Recently, though a delivery (really sweet couple) cracked me up!!!
The dad went over to the warmer, gushing about how cute the baby was. "Oh, he has my nose, he has your long fingers", pretty common stuff, and then he looked at baby's backside (34 weeks, lanugo was thinning, and you could see some dark hair here and there), "He even has hair on his butt like I do!" I lost it!!!!

Once, as a student, we went for community duty in a remote town in the Philippines. One day our host family was mad at their son, who was in high school, because he was asking for money to replace a fallopian tube that he broke in school (fallopian tube = test tube)...lol!

I brought a new dad carrying his newborn son to transition the other day. Dad spoke some English. I was explaining in my 'Spanglish' about the plan of care & unwrapping the baby under the warmer when I noticed a birth mark on the baby's side.

When I commented about it, the Dad's eyes lit up. "Just like mine!" He exclaimed as he promptly lifted his shirt to reveal an identical mark. Then he covered himself back up and blushed a little when he realized what he'd done. You gotta love new parents.

I've got a few...

A patient told me that she came to the hospital for her "Seduction of labor." At first I was confused and then I realized she meant induction of labor, LOL!

I was completing an OB history on another patient and I asked her if she ever had any surgery and she repied, "I had surgery to remove a couple of furballs" I looked at her and said, "furballs? You mean fibroids?" And she proceed to say, "yes those!"

I was starting a pre-ecclamptic patient on Mag. and Pit (I said oxytocin) and I explained both of the medications to her. I left the room to go get the medications and when I returned she asked me, "Is that the oxy-toxic stuff for my contractions and the amnesia sulfur for my blood pressure?"

I don't work in OB but I used to be a dispatcher for an ambulance company. One of the girls was pregnant (about 3 mos) and called out stating she felt her uterus stretching.

These funny memories are what keep nurses going.

We recently had a patient's husband call and say that his wife had "dropped" her mucus plug...I asked him, "was she holding it?" (What makes it funnier is that he is a CRNA who does quite a few epidurals in our unit).

Heh, you'd have thought she would have educated him about it.