Can you believe this? 13yo and mom both pregnant - page 6

Had a patient come in last night who was contracting and is 13 yrs old and her mom is pregnant too! :uhoh21:... Read More

  1. by   lpnstudentin2010
    Quote from gettingmymsn
    A little off the subject, but i had a 15 year old pt who delivered, and I noticed she had a big splay of roses with a card that said"Love, daddy". Naively, I said,
    "Is this from your daddy, or your baby's daddy?" She replied "Both!" Talk about feeling your stomach come up to your mouth...it was her step-father, but STILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ewwww
  2. by   Still Riding
    My best friend got pregnant the summer of '82, between our 6th and 7th grade year in school. She was a 'nice' girl from a 'good' family, but her mom was so giddy about the pregnancy, and was constantly showing off my friends' tiny belly, and dressing my friend up in cute maternity clothes (as if those really existed in 1982). It was enough to freak me out and scare me more than any film or lecture they showed us in health class.
    That is the age of my sisters, and the thought of either one of them getting pregnant scares the hell out of me. I couldn't see either of them being ready!!!!!
    I am now 21 and I couldn't imagine having a kid, never mind one older than 6...
  3. by   StuNurseUP
    Factoids:
    by the age of 19, 80% of American teens have had sex

    1 out of 3 schools teach abstinence only education.

    only 57% of parents have talked to thier kids about sex by 15 yrs of age

    90% chance of gettinging pregnant in one year of having unprotected sex

    Teens are going to have sex, they need info and access to birth-control.
    My sex talk at home: If you're going to be stupid enough to have sex, don't be doubly stupid-wear a condom. This is why teens get pregnant
  4. by   Mrs.S
    Quote from StuNurseUP
    Factoids:
    by the age of 19, 80% of American teens have had sex

    1 out of 3 schools teach abstinence only education.

    only 57% of parents have talked to thier kids about sex by 15 yrs of age

    90% chance of gettinging pregnant in one year of having unprotected sex

    Teens are going to have sex, they need info and access to birth-control.
    My sex talk at home: If you're going to be stupid enough to have sex, don't be doubly stupid-wear a condom. This is why teens get pregnant
    Ha! My husband's sex talk at home (when he was like 16): "Andy, I think we need to have a talk..." at which point my father-in-law wandered out of the room. yep, that was the whole talk. :chuckle
  5. by   BabyRN2Be
    We've had this discussion many other times in this forum. I've seen it before, too. The girl was 14 and mom was 30 (younger than myself!). Before the girl delivered, mom ended up with a 10 year prison sentence for drug dealing. This was her 3rd offense or so, that's why she got that much time. At least she ended up in prison, and that's good for the baby's sake... he wouldn't be subjected to more cocaine in his tiny body. The grandmother took care of the baby, she was 45 or so and a truck driver. I remember that there was a great-great grandmother involved, and she was in her 70's and quite healthy. Wonder if she will live to be a great-great-great grandmother?? Someone said that they had a 14/28 y.o. mother/daughter combo. I can't imagine being a grandmother at 28. I would just be discovering who I was, and having a grandbaby on top of that...wow.
  6. by   RaeT,RN
    Now, to add my 2 cents:

    My mom was an only child of a stable two-parent, church-going family. Found out she was pregnant at 16. Her parents forced her to have an abortion. Weeks later, she found out she was still pregnant. I was born at 28 weeks. She and my dad were married for 3 years, had my brother, and then divorced. She has been single my whole life. She finished high school and was the first generation in her family go to college. She always tried to make a better life for us, and always said she wanted us to have the opportunities she had missed.

    I am 25, have a BA, and my ADN. I am a newlywed and we have decided to wait a couple years before we have children.

    Yes, I believe that teen pregnancy can be a cycle, but also believe that it does not have to be. I agree with another poster who said that "you can lead a horse to water".

    And yes, I do feel sorry for these girls who come in at 13 and 14 and 15 years old. I do not believe that anything is consentual at that age. It is important to get social work involved in those situations and try to help them all you can. You're not helping them break the cycle when you judge them.
  7. by   RENAISSANCE RN
    At least on the bright side, if there is one... The mom can take care of the two infants while the teenager gets her HS degree. I hope.
  8. by   Catsmeow
    Hiyah,

    I was married (settled) and twenty when I had my first baby, as was my mother, so while there's no particular cycle of *teenage* pregnancy in our family, I worry myself to death that my 13 year old daughter will get herself into trouble. She's showing quite a bit of interest in boys. I did have "the talk" with her, and she still says it's "icky" but when I look (secretly) at some of the notes these boys write her at school they talk about sticking their tongues in her mouth and all this stuff. Makes me want to go insane!!! I don't know how to stop her from this, other than the talk I had with her.

    I was stunned that there is an opportunity at the school (all the rest of her time I very carefully account for and monitor, nicely, cheerfully, lol, I don't try to be overbearing) for this sort of activity. I asked my husband (who went to this middle school) and he said that from the time they get to school, til the time of their first class, they are all in a "great room" of some sorts that is fairly low on supervision, and that he remembers other kids kissing and such at those times. So what can I even do? I hate to go to the school and say, "Folks, my child is not being watched closely enough..." because is her being involved with this boy my fault? Something I did wrong somehow? Will they just say I should have parented her better and it's not their problem to watch this age group 24/7? (Ages 11-14) I wish I'd put her in the Christian school instead. (I did tell her if she didn't chill out with the boys I'd take her out of public school, but I said it fairly lightly so maybe she didn't believe me.)

    We're christians and she attends church regularly, so she does respond somewhat when I tell her Jesus wishes for us not to have sex and sexual relations before marriage, etc.

    Thankfully she told me yesterday that she "split up" with this boy and told the boy she just wanted to be alone. Somehow I got the sense that she herself felt like the kid was pushing her a bit hard to get involved in this stuff. (In the note the boy wrote it said something like, how come you didn't open your mouth, and how come you kept walking off to talk to your friend?) Dare I pray her desire to stop fooling around with this kid was a result of my talk and influence?

    I'm afraid if I tell her "absolutely no boys/boyfriends whatsoever" she'll rebel and I won't know what's going on in her life. Sigh. I've been dissuading her from boy-involvement, told her have her girlfriends over, concentrate on her studies, etc. instead. But I'm wondering when is the right time to consider putting her on birth control? I don't want to plant ideas where they haven't begun- she expresses disgust still over "sex" as a whole.

    Cats
  9. by   midwife2b
    Once upon a time our hospital gave away a lot of wonderful baby gifts to the "New Years Baby" and the parents. Included were a weekend at an inn in a city of their choosing, baby clothes, gift certificates, artwork... probably thousands of dollars of goods.
    One year the winner was a 15 year old single parent, no daddy in the picture, whose mom was 28 and the "grandmother" (or baby's great grandmother) was all of 42. They were shown on TV and were in the newspaper, along with the great-great grandmother and a great-great-great grandfather.
    The community outcry was intense, to say the least! It turned from bestowing gifts to the first baby of the year to "bestowing gifts and supporting adolescent pregnancy".
    Our hospital stopped this practice after this. I always wonder how that family is doing (it was probably a good 15 or more years ago.)
    I'm not sure that I am in favor of this type of practice, and would like to know what others think?
  10. by   Jessy_RN
    One of my classmates is 19 with 3 children and pregnant. She had her first child at 14.
  11. by   snowfreeze
    My oldest daughter is a few months younger than my youngest brother. I got pregnant when I was 22 and step-mom aroung same time.
    As far as the very young getting pregnant for multiple generations, maybe that is all they know. Children only follow goals they know to exist.
  12. by   Michelle.
    i was 17 when i got preg with my son, and my mom was 45 and also preg -which would've been her 6th child (she had 5 by the time she was 26...so a few years had passed) but she miscarried. I was 6 months along, and she was 17 weeks.

    I went to the ER with her and seen them hooking her up to IV's and she basically was going into shock, and i ended up leaving because there really wasn't much room for me... which was probably a good thing considering i was young and preg myself. But it didn't actually affect me... yeah she lost her baby while i was healthy, but honestly i knew she didn't need another child. So she had her D&C done, and was supposed to get her tubes tied, thought they were.. and ended up getting pregnant AGAIN! which also resulted in another miscarriage.. that time she actually got her tubes tied.

    I'm glad i had my kids young though... more time to enjoy my retirement years as i like to say...

    Michelle
  13. by   ShifraPuah
    I've had two 11-year-olds, both molestation/sexual abuse cases, and one very memorable case involving a 17-year-old pregnant (with triplets) by a man nearly three times her age, who'd been in jail on a murder charge and liked going round the nurses' station to help himself to the pocketbooks and wallets, while also mooching the food from her meal trays. He was married and estranged from his wife, whose sister was also on the same wing with her own problem pregnancy. She delivered the babies two months early and was featured on the local news, and I never saw her again...until one night I saw the FOB on the news (the video that showed him with the triplets--which went straight to a mug shot) and it turned out that he'd met up with his estranged wife in a graveyard, beat her, cut her throat, and left her for dead. She was later admitted to the same area of the hospital that her sister and her husband's GF had been during their pregnancies (a combination ACU, GYN, and general step-down Med-Surg Unit).

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