The best excuses for positive drug screens

  1. 12
    I have recently had a lot of positive UDS pts, and the excuses I hear as to why they are positive simply blow my mind! Anyone have any good stories? I'll start with my favorites.....

    + marijuana: I was trapped in a car with 10 other people smoking and the windows were broken
    +methamphetamine: I don't use it, I just cook it, and usually not at my own house
    +cocaine: I was asleep, and my boyfriend blew it up my nose. The 2 gay men that live next to me put cocaine in their air vents, and it must have got into my apartment.
    **my all-time favorite: well, of course my wife is positive for cocaine, you have no idea how many cokes she drinks everyday**
    Anyone else???
    chiandre, sbfairy, Not_A_Hat_Person, and 9 others like this.
  2. 132 Comments so far...

  3. 4
    Positive for barbiturates....I didn't inhale the smoke. Didn't realize that barbiturates are usually in pill form, but did you take any unknown pills? Yeah, but I thought they were vitamins. (Face palm.) sorry you are disqualified from the study. (I worked phase 1 clinical research at the time)
  4. 3
    Why are you testing so many women for drugs? Just wondering the circumstances by which so many women are getting drug tested.
  5. 7
    Unfortunately, the pt demographic where I work includes a lot of drug abusers. Some freely admit to using drugs, both before pregnancy and during. Our policy is to test any pt with prior use/abuse, as well as those with no prenatal care during their current pregnancy. The amount of positive screens blows my mind!
  6. 7
    The dad just did heroin, then we had sex. That's why I'm positive!
  7. 6
    Quote from NicuGal
    The dad just did heroin, then we had sex. That's why I'm positive!
    One of the ER docs I work with was telling me that meth is found in semen and if ingested can make the UDS positive! Now I've actually looked that up to verify, but it did give me a chuckle!!
    nitenite, RedInScrubs, barachi, and 3 others like this.
  8. 1
    Do you test anyone that comes in in PTL or with abruption?

    Does your state require consent from the patient before testing?
    SeattleJess likes this.
  9. 3
    Quote from klone
    Do you test anyone that comes in in PTL or with abruption?

    Does your state require consent from the patient before testing?
    I work in the ER and my state does not require consent for drug testing. Actually I have worked in several different states and never heard of anyone getting consent
  10. 1
    Quote from klone
    Do you test anyone that comes in in PTL or with abruption?

    Does your state require consent from the patient before testing?
    We test when there is PTL or an abruption. We aren't required to get a consent before testing, but in practice I tell the patient what I need the urine for and why. I've never had anyone refuse, but if they do I'll kick it up the food chain to the docs.
    SeattleJess likes this.
  11. 1
    Quote from ChristineN
    I work in the ER and my state does not require consent for drug testing. Actually I have worked in several different states and never heard of anyone getting consent
    It's possible that in the ED, there are different laws. I've worked in 2 states, and in both states, we were required to get patient consent for a UDS. For infants, we did not need consent, only a physician's order. But for adult patients, you can not do a drug screen unless they give permission.
    SeattleJess likes this.


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