Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful? - page 4

Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant,... Read More

  1. by   Meerkat
    Quote from klone
    Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. I've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.

    I haven't said anything in these threads, instead I just close the thread and move on. But whenever I read them, I can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. I understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but I don't know. It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.

    These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.
    Personally totally agree. Glad you brought it up.
  2. by   VivaLasViejas
    Try as I might, I never did figure out how so many welfare recipients are supposedly able to afford Cadillacs and filet mignon; when my family of six was on assistance years ago in California, we got $734 a month. That was supposed to cover rent ($540), utilities ($50-100), laundry, soap, paper products, etc. We didn't even have a bicycle, let alone a Caddy; our food stamps covered basic staples, but we never tasted anything so expensive as steak unless it was bought for us by my parents.

    Yes, our medical care was free; but I also remember many times I ate prednisone like candy and sat up all night hanging a lung on our home nebulizer, because I couldn't get admitted to the hospital for my status asthmaticus unless I needed to be on a vent. I remember not being able to get birth control, and getting pregnant time after time because I couldn't afford the Pill and nothing else worked.

    Entitlement? Never even crossed our minds...........if anything, we tried to be as unobtrusive as possible because we were ashamed of our lowly status. We HATED using food stamps and having other people glare at our purchases, as if we didn't deserve to eat because we were poor. It killed our souls to have to use our Medicaid cards at the doctor's office and the pharmacy.

    Then again, those experiences have a lot to do with why we fought so hard to get OUT of that situation, and why I personally tend to bristle when Medicaid patients are looked down on, even here. I've had just as many snotty, spoiled wealthy and middle-class patients as poor ones.........bad attitudes have little to do with class, and everything to do with the general coarsening and overall rudeness of modern culture.

    But, that's just my opinion.........
  3. by   destiny5
    Quote from phriedomRN
    It's got nothing to do with humble and apologetic. I'm thankful we live in a country where people who need it can receive assistance to have their health and that of their children taken care of. I believe the issue at point are the patients in the hospital, who (after amputation of a foot r/t noncompliance with diabetic management) report a nurse for not getting her a taxi voucher so she could go grocery shopping and could spend her food stamps to "get what's owed to me" Women on medicaid so their prenatal care is free, but yet they don't get it and continue to pop out preemie after preemie. It's not that they aren't apologetic, it's that generations of gov't aid have created a culture of entitlement. There's the rub... don't work, have a few babies and get everything you want for free, meanwhile, I'm barely scraping by working 50 hours a week. It's the abuse that irks me, not the appropriate use of the resources
    How about this. Let us as nurses be "patient advocates"-- That means getting taxi vouchers & whatever else our patients require. I don't know everyone on welfares situation but I do know a few people on welfare and I bet they would trade positions with you in a heartbeat. People on welfare aren't living the "good life". Often they are depressed and although they have food, health insurance, and sometimes housing-- they live far from what I am sure most would consider a good quality of life & getting everything they want "for free" is a stretch.
  4. by   StNeotser
    Quote from destiny5
    The fact that people are on "medicaid" should be left out of the venting--because you don't know their situation & they may be just as hard working as the nurse who is taking care of them!:angryfire
    Exactly. Many of our CNA's are most likely in that position when they go for their own health care coverage. How sad that someone can work so hard and yet get no healthcare coverage for their family (the employee is paid for)

    You can also imagine that once that person gets a bad back or have to go on "light duty" they are the first to be fired for being three minutes late.
  5. by   nursejohio
    Quote from destiny5
    Let us as nurses be "patient advocates"-- That means getting taxi vouchers & whatever else our patients require.

    So... next time I have a patient looking at several more weeks as an inpatient having I&Ds on a necrotic stump who wants a me to find her a cab ride so she can go shopping before her food stamps expire in 2 days (even though she's getting every nutritional requirement met while she's in the hospital) I need to jump through the hoops to *1)get the doctor to write her a release so she can leave 2)talk social services into getting her the voucher 3)time her meds so she gets them all before or after the shopping spree 4)try to take care of my other patients while doing it* in order to be a patient advocate? I don't think so Being a patient advocate means doing everything I can to meet the needs of my patient. Doing accuchecks, maintaing accurate I&Os, pain meds so she's able to get up with PT, helping her deal with the loss of a limb... those are things I'm happy to do.
  6. by   pacifica
    I agree with the OP. I have a hard time with people finding great humor at other people's expense. Particularly when the humor is directed against people who are sick or poor or homeless or uninsured or undocumented immigrants or members of the many other disenfranchised groups in our rather elitist society. I would hope most nurses would be sensitive and mature enough to resist their baser instincts, to recognize their own personal biases and see patients as human beings not stereotypes.

    Humor is fine, harmless venting is fine. Prejudice and bigotry is neither humorous nor harmless; it is mean and cruel.

    Kris
  7. by   peds4now
    Quote from destiny5
    I NEVER gave the snobby cashier at the grocery store or the snobby nurse in the ER a second thought because I did't care what they thought about my "aid"
    More power to you! But for all the judgemental nurses out there, not everyone is so strong. I only get WIC, which isn't "welfare" or "charity". My husband works full time at a desk job-at a top hospital no less! And we can't afford to feed our kids enough quality food without WIC. So we take since we qualify. And when I ran into the rude grocery store clerk, I ran home and cried. I broke down in front of the kids in the car, probably scaring them and scarring them much more than missing breakfast a few days a week would. So now I go to the special, segregated, WIC store where I get treated like a human being. Have you ever humiliated someone this way? I bet you have without even knowing it.
  8. by   33-weeker
    Quote from sharonh, rn
    i believe you when you say that it is their attitude that bothers you and others. they're just not humble enough, are they? after all if you're on medicaid or god forbid, uninsured, you darn well should be humble.....and apologetic. i'm talking hat in hand, eyes down, thank you for everything you do humble. after all, people on welfare are being supported by our tax dollars. that means that technically we own them and they should act accordingly. right?
    we don't own them, but we do support them, while not getting the same benefits for ourselves. i pay thousands of dollars out of my own pocket every year for my family's healthcare. then i pay taxes for those who can't pay for themselves, and those who won't. it's the one's who can but won't that i have a problem with.

    i'm not looking for shame and downcast eyes, just a little appreciation and to not being taken advantage of. don't put words in my mouth.

    if you were needy and on public assitance, what would your attitude be?

    mine would be one of gratitude.
  9. by   33-weeker
    Quote from schooldays
    more power to you! but for all the judgemental nurses out there, not everyone is so strong. i only get wic, which isn't "welfare" or "charity". my husband works full time at a desk job-at a top hospital no less! and we can't afford to feed our kids enough quality food without wic. so we take since we qualify. and when i ran into the rude grocery store clerk, i ran home and cried. i broke down in front of the kids in the car, probably scaring them and scarring them much more than missing breakfast a few days a week would. so now i go to the special, segregated, wic store where i get treated like a human being.
    i was on wic for a while when i was a stay at home mom needing a breaast pump for my twin with a suck problem. it is true that different stores treat you different. kroger was the worst, with the cashiers acting all put out to check you out with vouchers.

    now that i am working again and off wic, i rarely shop there because of the way i was treated. but even with both my husband and i working, it is still not easy.

    i don't treat people any differently just beacuse they are on public assistance. but when any patient is rude to me, it is hard to suck it up and remain professional. it's harder to do when i know my tax dollars are going to help them... and even harder when it is obvious that they are abusing the system.
  10. by   mercyteapot
    Quote from 33-weeker
    we don't own them, but we do support them, while not getting the same benefits for ourselves. i pay thousands of dollars out of my own pocket every year for my family's healthcare. then i pay taxes for those who can't pay for themselves, and those who won't. it's the one's who can but won't that i have a problem with.

    i'm not looking for shame and downcast eyes, just a little appreciation and to not being taken advantage of. don't put words in my mouth.

    if you were needy and on public assitance, what would your attitude be?

    mine would be one of gratitude.
    it isn't for you to expect anything from the patients for whom you care. what you expect off duty is up to you, but at work, the bottom line is that you're being paid to provide care, and you're getting the same wage whether your patient has medicaid, an hmo or fee for service insurance- or if they have no insurance at all.
  11. by   33-weeker
    Quote from mercyteapot
    it isn't for you to expect anything from the patients for whom you care. what you expect off duty is up to you, but at work, the bottom line is that you're being paid to provide care, and you're getting the same wage whether your patient has medicaid, an hmo or fee for service insurance- or if they have no insurance at all.
    this isn't work, and who said i wasn't?
  12. by   leeae85
    I really enjoy all the "venting" posts. Not only are they a safe way to let of steam and de-stress as you pound out your thoughts on a keyboard, but to me it also lets me know that I am not the only one who seems to be having a horrible day-not that i WANT someone else to have a bad day. LOL!

    but seriously, it seems like a few people at work are always rushing through assignments, basically throwing their meds at people, then take dozens of breaks, and then sit at the desk for the rest of the shift, meanwhile I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off! (all the CNA's tell me I need to grow a backbone!) It just irks me that they can;t even say, Are you allright? Do you need any help?" I don;t want someone esle to do my job for me, but teamwork is a great thing!
  13. by   Mrs.S
    Quote from pacifica
    I agree with the OP. I have a hard time with people finding great humor at other people's expense. Particularly when the humor is directed against people who are sick or poor or homeless or uninsured or undocumented immigrants or members of the many other disenfranchised groups in our rather elitist society. I would hope most nurses would be sensitive and mature enough to resist their baser instincts, to recognize their own personal biases and see patients as human beings not stereotypes.

    Humor is fine, harmless venting is fine. Prejudice and bigotry is neither humorous nor harmless; it is mean and cruel.

    Kris

close