As I move closer towards nursing school, I have these feelings of panic now and then that I might not be making the best decision for ME. I have had a long standing debate whether or not to pursue CNM or DEM (this seems to change weekly). It's like my heart tells me to do DEM, but my mind tells me to go to nursing school. I really want to be in a position of offering continuity of care to laboring women and I'm conserned that as a nurse or CNM, I won't really be able to do that optimally. I am curious what a day in the life of a L&D nurse or CNM looks like as far as how many patient you are caring for at a time and how much time to get to spend being "with women" during labor. I also have a hard time imagining myself walking away from a laboring women when my shift is over. I also worry about physician/midwife relations in "managing" birth. How do the nurses and midwives out there handle these challenges? I just finished a book called Giving Birth: A Journey into the World of Mothers and Midwives by Catherine Taylor which presented a lot of the challenges that CNM's face. It kind of made me feel like maybe pursuing DEM is more fitting for me personally, yet I'm afraid of making the wrong decision. 10 years down the road I don't want to kick myself in the pants for not going through nursing school! Any and all feedback is much appreciated! Thanks in advance!