? About not breastfeeding

[Schmoo1022]

Hello,

I am not looking for a big debate or anything. I just want to know if nurses, in general, look down on moms who choose not to breastfeed. Not because of a medical reason, just because mom chooses not too.

My friend had a negative experience and feels so guilty for not breast feeding now. In my opinion, I think she is more guilty about not even trying , but she keeps mentioning a comment one of the nurses made.

Just a general question

Thanks!

[Dont]

As parents, it's our duty to do what's best for our kids.

I believe breast feeding is better for kids.

Therefore we should be breastfeeding our kids whenever possible.

Of course as the dad, it's not my glands that are being "attacked" every two hours so it's easy for me to say!

I will say that the lactation consultant that "helped" us with our first child was pushy, impatient, and made my wife feel inadequate. Thankfully my wife is pretty head strong and was determined to breastfeed if at all possible since we had "read up" on the benefits while she was pregnant. Mom and baby got the hang of it after 3-4 days and I believe it really helped create a bond between them.

[CEG]

From the side of the person choosing not to breastfeed...

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was looking forward to breastfeeding. I went to Bradley class, breastfeeding class, joined La Leche League, read all the books etc. When she was born I thought everything was fine until her checkups when she everntually got to 7 lb 2 oz after a birthweight of 8 lb 11 oz. I tried nursing every hour, then puming, I went to multiple lactation consultants, took fenugreek, took Reglan, drank mother's milk tea, etc. I managed to keep breastfeeding for 8 weeks, despite the fact that she was getting less than an ounce form me at each feeding and then drinking a full bottle. I could only pump enough to cover the very bottom of the container.

I had some postpartum depression issues and attributed my problems to that and the stress of my husband being deployed.

I just had another baby three weeks ago. I did all I could to prepare, started taking fenugreek immediately after he was born, nursed every hour, started on Reglan again, etc. He too lost much greater than 10% of his body weight and had jaundice. Once we had the billi blanket his levels went down only .8 (from 16.8 to 16) in two days and he continued to lose weight despite vigilant hourly nursing and an exhausted mother.

It was really starting to affect my mental state, so I decided to give up on the breastfeeding. Within two days his billi levels returned to a safe level and he began to gain weight. Despite quitting cold turkey my breasts never became engorged and I experienced only a little tenderness, no real pain.

So, when we have another baby I will just plan to bottle feed. (Hopefully by that time I will be a labor and delivery nurse). I would like to think that I would not be looked upon as lazy or uncaring. I have certainly put a lot of effort into trying, and I feel guilty about not being able to do it, but I think I have done all I can.

Just wanted to add another point of view.

[OB_or_NICU_hopeful]

I am not a nurse.

What about being an advocate for the newborn?

I will tell you that, personally, I needed a very aggressive LC. I would have given up with my 35 weeker had I not had our Ped's LC. She did make me feel guilty, but IMO, she should have because it was well worth it in the end :) I pumped for six weeks, then was able to latch him on and nursed him exclusively for 7.5 months and we stopped nursing at 12 months. I was GRATEFUL for that LC! I went back to her with my second son.

I feel that part of the problem is that medical professionals don't REALLY believe that breastmilk is superior to formula.

edited to add: I do realize that there are situations that call for formula.

[AlabamaBelle]

Well, here's my two cents' worth:

Bonding is in no way linked to bottle or breast feeding. I have 3 children I bottle fed. As much as possible, they were held/cuddled/eye to eye, skin to skin contact, as if they were breastfed. We bonded very well. My former sister-in-law breastfed her 2 daughters and absolutely ignored them when she was breastfeeding and has kept up the ignoring, I'll see you when convenient act.

My youngest sister tried her hardest to breastfeed. She produced hardly any milk. The BF nazis at LaLeche League were adamant she not give youngest a bottle. My mother came to the rescue at 10 days of age - the baby looked pitiful, sounded pitiful. The sound of the first drop of formula hitting the bottom of that empty tummy was pathetic. My sis gave up the breast business and everyone was much, much happier.

There are so many other things that go into motherhood. Breastfeeding alone does not make a good mom. It's the loving, the touching, the nurturing and trying and doing the best you can do by your baby.

Supporting and encouraging moms should be our highest priority. Another guilt trip for not breastfeeding - whatever the reason - is not what a new mom needs.

[hospitalstaph]

Well, here's my two cents' worth:

Bonding is in no way linked to bottle or breast feeding. I have 3 children I bottle fed. As much as possible, they were held/cuddled/eye to eye, skin to skin contact, as if they were breastfed. We bonded very well. My former sister-in-law breastfed her 2 daughters and absolutely ignored them when she was breastfeeding and has kept up the ignoring, I'll see you when convenient act.

My youngest sister tried her hardest to breastfeed. She produced hardly any milk. The BF nazis at LaLeche League were adamant she not give youngest a bottle. My mother came to the rescue at 10 days of age - the baby looked pitiful, sounded pitiful. The sound of the first drop of formula hitting the bottom of that empty tummy was pathetic. My sis gave up the breast business and everyone was much, much happier.

There are so many other things that go into motherhood. Breastfeeding alone does not make a good mom. It's the loving, the touching, the nurturing and trying and doing the best you can do by your baby.

Supporting and encouraging moms should be our highest priority. Another guilt trip for not breastfeeding - whatever the reason - is not what a new mom needs.

Whoa.....breastfeeding nazis at La Leche League????

T

[Catsmeow]

Here's my $0.02 on this issue.

When I was a student, my OB clinical instructor said that hospitals that serve upper middle-class clients tend to encourage breastfeeding and have up to 90 percent of new moms breastfeeding upon discharge. Also, the vast majority of these upper middle-class women deliver lady partslly if possible.

My OB clinical instructor also said that hospitals in lower socioeconomic areas with high numbers of Medicaid recipients tend to have almost zero moms who breastfeed at discharge. Also, 70 percent of the women deliver by cesarean.

I think educational level often influences whether a mother will breastfeed and how she will deliver.

And how frustrating that the ones that stand to benefit the most from the monetary gain of breastfeeding are the ones that least benefit! On a bright note, my Mother-in-law recently worked for Women and children's services, and one of their big support programs was promoting breastfeeding as well. Not sure how nazi they got about it all though. lol

Cats

[sjt9721, BSN, RN]

A previous poster says it's the nurse's responsibility to teach the "risks of not breastfeeding". I saw nothing in the literature nor did I hear from my LC about a "risk" associated with formula feeding. Certainly breastfeeding is preferred by many circles (and for good reasons!), but just because one thing is better doesn't mean the other choice is risky.

My daughter was a wee bit small (36 wks, 5lb2oz) and had a good suck, but would tire out quickly. Combine that with my "short" nipples & you get a frustrated mom and baby. I wanted to breastfeed but wasn't against formula because in the end, what matters is that the baby eats & gains weight!

I applaud my LCs for their support & assistance. I ended up pumping for a few minutes, applying a nipple shield, & using a few drops of dextrose water to entice Erika to latch on. My LC actually sent me home with a few 4-pks of formula "just in case" we were less than successful at home. We needed the nipple shield until Erika reached her original due date & now she nurses like a pro! Looking back, the baby knew what to do...it was Mom who had to get the hang of it!

[Dont]

>

I agree, but shouldn't we be striving to make the BETTER choice when possible?

[fergus51]

A previous poster says it's the nurse's responsibility to teach the "risks of not breastfeeding". I saw nothing in the literature nor did I hear from my LC about a "risk" associated with formula feeding. Certainly breastfeeding is preferred by many circles (and for good reasons!), but just because one thing is better doesn't mean the other choice is risky.

In fairness, that does depend on the situation. I work NICU and premies who are fed formula have an increased RISK of NEC compared to babies that are fed breast milk.

Personally, I am a breastfeeding advocate, but if someone wants to bottle feed, then I respect that. In the end, I want a baby to eat and gain weight well.

[prinsessa]

A previous poster says it's the nurse's responsibility to teach the "risks of not breastfeeding". I saw nothing in the literature nor did I hear from my LC about a "risk" associated with formula feeding. Certainly breastfeeding is preferred by many circles (and for good reasons!), but just because one thing is better doesn't mean the other choice is risky.

My daughter was a wee bit small (36 wks, 5lb2oz) and had a good suck, but would tire out quickly. Combine that with my "short" nipples & you get a frustrated mom and baby. I wanted to breastfeed but wasn't against formula because in the end, what matters is that the baby eats & gains weight!

I applaud my LCs for their support & assistance. I ended up pumping for a few minutes, applying a nipple shield, & using a few drops of dextrose water to entice Erika to latch on. My LC actually sent me home with a few 4-pks of formula "just in case" we were less than successful at home. We needed the nipple shield until Erika reached her original due date & now she nurses like a pro! Looking back, the baby knew what to do...it was Mom who had to get the hang of it!

I formula fed my DD from 2 months on. And my DS, who just turned 2, is still bfing a couple of times a day. So I have been on both sides. The reason that formula feeding is risky is because babies that are formula fed have a greater change of dying of SIDS than breast fed babies. They are also more likely to develop allergies and asthma (plus many more things...but I don't have the time now). Now that does not mean that formula fed babies are always going to be sicker than breast fed babies. It just means they are MORE LIKELY to have these things. So if there are benefits to breastfeeding, then there has to be risks to formula feeding.

[SmilingBluEyes]

In fairness, that does depend on the situation. I work NICU and premies who are fed formula have an increased RISK of NEC compared to babies that are fed breast milk.

Personally, I am a breastfeeding advocate, but if someone wants to bottle feed, then I respect that. In the end, I want a baby to eat and gain weight well.

Perfectly-stated.

Be VERY careful about how you express yourself as a nurse. patients often take to heart everything we say and making them feel guilty is not our right. There is a thin line between education and guilt trips. I really resent nurses that try to guilt patients into choices they do not want to make, whether it be regarding breastfeeding versus bottlefeeding or using medication for birth or not---or a whole host of other issues. We ADVOCATE, not guilt people into things.

[nurse4theplanet, RN]

Here's my $0.02 on this issue.

When I was a student, my OB clinical instructor said that hospitals that serve upper middle-class clients tend to encourage breastfeeding and have up to 90 percent of new moms breastfeeding upon discharge. Also, the vast majority of these upper middle-class women deliver lady partslly if possible.

My OB clinical instructor also said that hospitals in lower socioeconomic areas with high numbers of Medicaid recipients tend to have almost zero moms who breastfeed at discharge. Also, 70 percent of the women deliver by cesarean.

I think educational level often influences whether a mother will breastfeed and how she will deliver.

The trend you noticed in your area is also the trend in our are. Mom's who are on the lower end of the socioeconomic pole in our area tend to be less healthy, even with implemented government programs like WIC, thus having a larger percent of high risk pregnancies and delivering earlier. Many times the mother is already malnurished and the baby has taken alot from them physically. Breastfeeding tends to rob them further of nutrients, even with supplements. So in such hospitals that serve this particular economic status, you will find the nurses to be less pushy about lady partsl births and breastfeeding.......most times it is just to risky for mom and baby.

But in the middle class circles, where mom has been properly fed, baby is developing normally in the womb, mom has had consistent pre-natal care, and carries more closely to term......the nurses struggle a bit more to push for lady partsl births and breastfeeding.

Baby has a lot to gain from breastmilk. Mom has a lot to gain from breastfeeeding as well.....hormones realeased (oxytocin? I think...) cause the uterus to contract, thus helping it return to normal size. (you don't get that with bottlefeeding).

I think it is different and frustrating for new mom's, who may be more likely to give up easier, but if gentle encouragement and proper instruction are given......it can help make mom more comfortable and successful.

making mom feel guilty or unfit simply defeats the purpose of being a 'consultant' or a 'patient advocate'......nurses are not just the mom's advocate OR just the baby's advocate. We are to advocate for BOTH mom and baby at the same time. They are a package deal. If you upset mom, you upset baby, and vice versa.