This is long. I just need to rant. I'm in my last year in a BSN program here in Canada and my clinical placement right now is at a cardiovascular floor. I am having problems with my instructor who nitpicks for example: she notices if my pt have a half full garbage by the bedside or if during a dressing change I forget a mepore and had to ask her to go outside and get it for me, or if the pt washroom is not tidy or as neat as she would have liked it to be, I did not wash the back of an independent pt stuff like this I can go on and on... yesterday after a pt has peed in the bedpan, I wiped her with some napkins and instructor exploded because I did not use the spray and made me move my face closer to the peri area so I can smell the 'stink' (I had a cold by the way and I did wash her peri area that morning)...Anyway this has made me extremely nervous and everytime she's there I just manage to screw up...The thing is she watches my every move such as hanging IVs, well now she said she'll watch all my bedbaths and pericare, dressing changes and of course this is quite draining as I am with her at least 3 hours ever clinical day (and she just volleys back all the negative feedback on and on which sinks me even more) and yes she has seven other students to watch so this majorly screws up my time and now it seems as if I have no time management at all..Not only that but the comments she's made about me are so discouraging...I can go on and on but please evaluate my grievance letter. I am ready to quit clinical even though I got weak satisfactory/satisfactory at midterm because she said that if I don't perform good she will fail me (if she's going to watch me consistently and she said she needs to, it's just not gonna work at all because of my anxiety around her and I know that Im not gonna make her happy at all. She wants me to be a 10/10 on everything and not have a single little mistake.). So somebody can give me some suggestions on how to edit/write an opening paragraph to my letter to the nursing counsellor please help...
* On one occasion after a dressing change instructor has remarked "that of all the students in the ward, you seem to have the worst technique". It was personally devastating to be compared to my other classmates in the ward.
* On February 27, after clinical - I was telling instructor about my experiences in Term V and mentioned that we picked our own patients, said instructor immediately replied that "you probably picked all the easy patients, hung out by the nurses' station, did the least amount of work you can get away with..."I personally worked very hard in Term IV and Term V. Her assumptions about me were wrong and very discouraging.
* On February 27, after clinical - instructor remarked that "I've had two CPE classes before and that's 16 students - of all the students you are the one that is struggling the most...I've never seen a student struggle this much before". This was a crushing blow because I needed encouragement and need not be compared to previous term students.
* On another occasion after an IV change instructor has remarked "I know you are quiet so your previous instructors probably thought oh she's just quiet and thought she must know her stuff...but actually you didn't" Her assumptions about me are not helpful.
* On February 27, during IV change when I mentioned that I did not learn backflushing in lab, said instructor came back and said "I asked student B and she said you were taught backflushing in the lab, come here..." Thus student B was there with her to teach me how to properly backflush IV. Said student and instructor (with the help of a board and felt pen) taught me how to backflush IV. I believe CI needed to teach me the skill herself and need not bring in another student with her to prove to me that yes, it was actually taught in the lab. This was a very humiliating experience.
* On February 27, my pt peed in the bedpan and I went in to wipe her with some tissues. Said instructor was there and instructed that I should have used the spray to which I complied. After wiping patient with wet cloths and spray. Instructor inspected my work and told me to put my face "closer" to the peri area. I complied but the distance was not enough so said to again put my face "closer" to the peri area. I complied yet again. She then demanded what I noticed. At this point I was terrified, nearly in tears and highly humiliated. She wanted to point to me the smell coming from the area and thus that my cleaning was not satisfactory. My patient was awake and watching us. This was a very demeaning experience for both me and the patient.