I Need Help to Prevent from Crying

  1. 0
    I hate the fact that I cry (more or less tear up or well up) when I'm happy or sad. It really sucks because I know that it can be perceived as a sign of weakness. I'm really trying to practice my game face because I know the emotions I wear on my face could help/hurt my relationship with my patients and colleagues. Any pointers to stem the tide of tears during clinicals?

    Thanks for any advice you can lend.

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  2. 10 Comments...

  3. 1
    Crying doesnt always mean a sign of weakness. Crying can meaning you are overwhelmed. You may be showing emotions for patients. Doctors may be very harsh at times. We all are emotional on some type of level. You may need to take a few minutes to yourself to get yourself together. Me personally when I get to point of crying I was overwhelmed with the things were going on in my surroundings and I knew then it was time for a change. Just a thought. Try to stay strong.
    dcgrrl likes this.
  4. 4
    If this is a recent thing you should consider if you are a bit over stressed or depressed.

    If not recent, I really think you are completely correct in addressing this -- at least for how you are in a professional setting. Go with your own instinct on this. It is extremely difficult to interact with someone professionally who is crying. You could have mad nursing skills and will still be judged more on how you interact with others.

    There are a few things you can try.

    Do not give yourself permission to cry. Don't indulge. Most people have much more control of their thoughts and actions than they give themselves credit.

    Consider if you are over identifying a bit with those around you. If they experience a happy even it it is their happy event. If they are experiencing a sad event it is their sad event. So, if you reframe it as such, rather than how you feel about it, it may help.

    If you feel tears coming on you can try:

    • Deep breathing.
    • Tickling the roof of your mouth with your tongue.
    • Doing a jaw thrust.
    • Clenching a fist.
    • Think about the next thing you need to do.


    Essentially distract yourself.

    If you sometimes cry when you are angry -- give yourself permission to be angry. Some women think it is not OK to be angry. That is not the case. It is inappropriate to lash out in anger but a feeling is just a feeling -- it doesn't make it wrong.

    A good cognitive behavioral therapist can help with this if none of these things work.

    Good luck!
  5. 1
    I actually start to well up when I get upset or I feel like I'm in trouble or did something wrong! I haven't actually cried though. But I noticed that it's not as noticeable to other people so that's a good thing. I think it takes time to "toughen up" and become more confident. Also, one of my professors said to look up at a light if you feel tears coming! lol I haven't tried that one.
    dcgrrl likes this.
  6. 3
    Quote from DolceVita
    If this is a recent thing you should consider if you are a bit over stressed or depressed.

    If not recent, I really think you are completely correct in addressing this -- at least for how you are in a professional setting. Go with your own instinct on this. It is extremely difficult to interact with someone professionally who is crying. You could have mad nursing skills and will still be judged more on how you interact with others.

    There are a few things you can try.

    Do not give yourself permission to cry. Don't indulge. Most people have much more control of their thoughts and actions than they give themselves credit.

    Consider if you are over identifying a bit with those around you. If they experience a happy even it it is their happy event. If they are experiencing a sad event it is their sad event. So, if you reframe it as such, rather than how you feel about it, it may help.

    If you feel tears coming on you can try:

    • Deep breathing.
    • Tickling the roof of your mouth with your tongue.
    • Doing a jaw thrust.
    • Clenching a fist.
    • Think about the next thing you need to do.

    Essentially distract yourself.

    If you sometimes cry when you are angry -- give yourself permission to be angry. Some women think it is not OK to be angry. That is not the case. It is inappropriate to lash out in anger but a feeling is just a feeling -- it doesn't make it wrong.

    A good cognitive behavioral therapist can help with this if none of these things work.

    Good luck!

    Thanks!! I'm really going to consider cognitive behavioral therapy...I think it has come down to this because I haven't been very successful on my own. I have identified the main problem which is basically I find that I'm too empathetic. While I know empathy is a good trait to have as a nurse---too much can be a hindrance.
    dream& achieve, RNTutor, and DolceVita like this.
  7. 2
    If I feel a tear I open my eyes up more and stop blinking so it dries up. And if anyone notices a watery eye, I blame it on my contacts, lol. My contacts actually do make my eyes watery at times.
    LuvCinci and Poi Dog like this.
  8. 0
    I was once like that too.. deep breathing helps me though. ^^
  9. 0
    so this is my first post...but i had to say something! I am the same exact way, and it has been incredibly embarressing and limits my ability to interact with professor, new people, etc. i'm in my first week of accelerated fundamentals, and have nearly cried twice. at orientation i cried twice while watching a little nursing video that was all sweet. please let me know how things have worked for you, and if you've found a way to deal with it. i just moved here for school too, so it's even more difficult. i find it's never hindered me before, but it honestly happens for no reason. i'll be just tryin to talk to a prof, and start like get all teary; i'm so nervous when clinicals begin next week, and i'm going to try to find a therapist ASAP! hope to hear back from you! GLAD I'M NOT ALONE :-)
  10. 0
    I'm a crier too - doesn't bother me at work, except if I get really angry. This sucks because being angry and confronting someone (esp male!), you don't get much respect if you're crying. Luckily this has only happened once, when I had a total pig of a man as a boss. It didn't go well... heh.

    I agree with DolceVita's suggestions though. Sometimes I just have to take a timeout and give myself a talking to.
  11. 0
    Thanks for everyone's response. I'm going to try some of those distractor techniques too. I've also been watching more of TLC's Trauma: Life in the ER to gives me lots of opportunities to practice! LOL


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