Family's responsiblity of taking care of older parents? - page 3

by micstn

2,239 Views | 31 Comments

just wondering, is a responsiblity or obligation? what is their responsiblity?... Read More


  1. 1
    Hmmm...just thinking about what type o f paper you're hoping to write on this subject. You're going to need to include citations from articles you've read.

    Maybe you could do a compare/contrast paper on how two or three different cultures care for their elderly.
    sharpeimom likes this.
  2. 0
    Totally agree with looking at cultural influences on caregiving for parents.... My grandmother has lived with us since she was 65 (now 89) and there has never been talk of putting her in a nursing home facility even when she had two strokes and pneumonia. But, my mother is from India and parents always live with their children when they become older. A majority of my Hispanic or Asian friends also have grandparents living with them.
  3. 0
    Talk about culture, I have to tell you that my coworker, she is a nurse & American, she won't let her mom go to the nursing home neither
  4. 0
    Quote from micstn
    I agree with you that some people did not have happy childhood, but extreme bad parents are few, I do not think that is many cases. parents do have stress. I really feel that kids are spoiled here.
    this is not your place to say though. And it is a generalization to say extreme bad parents are few. You, as the care provider do not know the family dynamic. That little old lady who cries about how alone she is, may not have her daughter there because she wrote her out of her life, for whatever reason. We simply don't know. Our responsibility is to our patients. We are not in the position to determine who should and should not be there. We are in the position to be there ourselves and nothing more.
  5. 0
    I know for most peoples' favor, I should put culture in it, but I start wondering why culture always be an excuse for healthcare phenomina, how about economics?
  6. 2
    Culture is not an excuse. I feel, and correct me if I am wrong, that you are placing your definition of a functioning family unit onto all families, which simply can't be done.I'm American. I'd not consider living with my children when they got older. Would I care for dying family members? Yes, but I have done it and know how horrifically hard it is. It's draining, physically, emotionally and financially. Never, in a million years would I want my children dosing my Hospice morphine. Or having to worry if I'm safe while they work. I've raised my children with no familial help. I do not expect them to raise me. Because I know how difficult it is. Let the nurses deal with the difficult aspects of my health care. Let my children live their lives. So even if I become old and confused and wonder why they aren't there, I will leave this earth and my children will be blessed to not have to deal with the burden of my health.
    barbyann and TheCommuter like this.
  7. 0
    I know my position as home care nurse, it's just be there usually once a week, but the rest of week, I expected there would be a family visit, at least once a week, I believe this is not a burden for children. You are right, I don't know much about family dynamic: look at people around me, nobody seems can be perfect as I thought
  8. 0
    Quote from LCinTraining
    Culture is not an excuse. I feel, and correct me if I am wrong, that you are placing your definition of a functioning family unit onto all families, which simply can't be done.I'm American. I'd not consider living with my children when they got older. Would I care for dying family members? Yes, but I have done it and know how horrifically hard it is. It's draining, physically, emotionally and financially. Never, in a million years would I want my children dosing my Hospice morphine. Or having to worry if I'm safe while they work. I've raised my children with no familial help. I do not expect them to raise me. Because I know how difficult it is. Let the nurses deal with the difficult aspects of my health care. Let my children live their lives. So even if I become old and confused and wonder why they aren't there, I will leave this earth and my children will be blessed to not have to deal with the burden of my health.
    It seems like this is the expectation in our White American culture overall. Most elderly don't want to be a burden. My grandmother always says she doesn't want to be tolerated but celebrated, but you can tell it upsets her when the daughter that she supported for 30 years does not want to put up with her in her old age.

    Many white Americans place less emphasis on family and more on career and their own personal wants and needs, we're a very individualistic society. My own mother is another story, we would never dream of putting her in a home unless absolutely necessary, and there are so few cases where that would be absolutely necessary. I figure that my mother has sacrificed so much to raise me that I would never abandon her in her time of need. I'm honestly afraid to have children of my own because I fear they would put me in a home if I wasn't a good enough mother.
  9. 0
    It is true. I do not want to be a burden of my children neither, but when I turns old, I want to live with them or closeby if we can tolerate each other; but the truth is we rarely can tolerate with each other; if we really live under a ceiling, how we can deal with so much difference between two generations.
  10. 0
    BlackandYellow,

    I've been there and I remember how hard it was during and after. What made it especially hard
    was the watching over my shoulder because certain well meaning relatives were watching and
    critiquing everything I did and every decision I made.

    One of the best bits of advice I was given, was to mentally tell my critics to go to ...., then
    forget it.


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