Scrubs Make Me Crazy (long rant)

[coast2coast]

I'm 24. I'm 5'5" - 44-35-44. No shrinking violet, but not a bruiser, either. I live in skinny jeans and fitted tops and I like looking remotely "female" when I step out of the house.

Normally I'm pretty laid back. But scrub shopping makes me crazy.

I do not want pants that fasten under my armpits. I don't appreciate a full-circle elastic girdle of doom slowly squeezing the life out of me 12 hours a day. I don't want peg-legged monstrosities that my 57-year-old mother would be delighted to wear. I also don't want flare-legged trainwrecks that my 13-year-old self would have found TOTALLY KEWL !!1!1! back in 1998.

I have breasts. Obviously no scrub manufacturer has ever gotten close to such things, because no scrubs are designed to accommodate them. I am not a man. If my chest is 44" around, it does not mean that my biceps are also 44" around. Neither is my waist !

Not that measurements appear to be used in scrub design. Seriously. I'm normally a US size 12 and a medium or large top. But as I wade through piles of scrubs, I find myself in medium or small bottoms, and on one special occasion- extra small! I assure you, there is nothing about me that is or ever will be extra-small. Even as my pants seem to magically shrink in the dressing room, my tops balloon to commically large sizes. Medium? Can hardly pull it on. Large? My chest is still squished into a bizarre, quadro-boobed nightmare. Extra-Large? Suddenly my chest fits, but the sleeves come down to my elbows and I could hide a nine-month pregnancy under the midsection.

I see two generations of scrubs when I go shopping. The first were designed by men, for men. They are now called unisex and are generally shapeless and avoidable.

The second generation is more deadly. It fills you with false hope, because it's marketed for women. It's supposed to be updated, fashionable, etc. Lies, all lies!

Flare-leg pants ARE NOT STYLISH. Slitting them up the side 3 inches doesn't change this.

Empire waists and "wrap tops" make 99% of women look like pregnant, blimp-boobied BEASTS.

Frenetic patterns in bubblegum pink, gathering, ruching, and bow-tying are also not the path to scrub enlightenment.

Also - and I realize this may be more of a personal tic - I want to be respected. I don't feel like that happens with sweetheart necklines, lacy bits, or ribbony-shiny trim. There is a difference between a nicely fitted top and one that simply hugs and reveals cleavage.

Brands - The Worst of the Best

Grey's. I don't get the hype. Tops fit fine but the bottoms leave me, an amply-bottomed young lady, with saddle bags pooching around my bum and hips. The super-soft material that everybody goes nuts over also hangs terribly, and seems to reverse any sort of styling that went into the garment.

Koi. Of all brands, Koi is the worst. Koi fills me with false hope and then leaves me high and dry. My issue here is not with fit but with color selection. Which seems to have been made by some demented, evil, super-villain in a darkened laboratory somewhere. Camel colored pants! Bubblegum pink tops! Strawberry colored pants! Sickly yellow tops! Lovely wine-colored pants with HIDEOUS EYE-GOUGING light-blue contrast stitching! Koi, you make me want to slit my wrists!

Urbane. Also a heart-breaker, this one. They get the closest to 'modern' fit of all brands I've tried thus far. Unfortunately, they're clearly designed by non-medical professionals and thus have no pockets. My heart breaks when I find awesome-fitting Urbane pants with NO POCKETS ANYWHERE. It's like a magic trick - guess where all the pockets have gone? And the catch is that they never existed in the first place. Sob.

So this is my scrub rant. I am young and picky and would probably pay one million dollars for a set of scrubs that made me feel like a human being while I was wearing them. I've clearly been trying on way too much at this point, and I am exhausted and scrub-less. It doesn't help that my school wants maroon-colored scrubs. The mere mention of scrubs gives me an anxious eye tic that I'm afraid will never go away. School begins in six weeks and I know that eventually, I'll have to give in and buy the dreaded burgundy potato sack. Until then ... I can only dream.

[astarr33]

My program requires a specific top that we have to order. It zips up the front. Well endowed women like me either end up squished or swimming in tops that are huge. Luckily, my mother is a genius with a sewing machine. I ordered my tops so that they fit where they needed too, namely the bosom, then she took apart the back and side seams and altered it to fit better. She even hemmed my pants which were petites, but somehow always ended up under the heels of my Danskos.

Perhaps you could post a notice on the student bulletin board and ask if anyone knows a good seamstress? Or maybe there is another nursing student who loves to sew who would like to make a little extra pocket money?

Good luck finding the elusive "perfect fit" scrubs!!!

[RescueNinja]

My program requires a specific top that we have to order. It zips up the front. Well endowed women like me either end up squished or swimming in tops that are huge. Luckily, my mother is a genius with a sewing machine. I ordered my tops so that they fit where they needed too, namely the bosom, then she took apart the back and side seams and altered it to fit better. She even hemmed my pants which were petites, but somehow always ended up under the heels of my Danskos.

Perhaps you could post a notice on the student bulletin board and ask if anyone knows a good seamstress? Or maybe there is another nursing student who loves to sew who would like to make a little extra pocket money?

Good luck finding the elusive "perfect fit" scrubs!!!

I had to do this with my high school uniform tops. They were button-up basically see-through white blouses. Perfect thing to wear around a bunch of high school boys... Lol even worse when you've got giant boobs. Yea, so glad that's over.

[mursecasey]

The camel toe (or as my Canadian friend calls it moose knuckles lol) is a problem I find a lot of nurses are having (not just female). Also to the poster who said that men must design scrubs you obviously are not a male! Scrubs are most definitely designed for women. Men DO NOT like to pull the pants up to your chest! I take issue with the fact that the tops also make men look like blobs. They are the same shape from orifice to elbow! Straight up and down. (contrary to popular belief men do like to feel attractive at work too after all we are surrounded by mostly attractive women)

[viciousminty]

Ever look into Baby Phat scrubs? Some are 'stretchy' so they curve to you if you get the right fit/size.

[cgravier]

interesting thread. You really should 1. do more cardio and 2. learn how to tailor.

Im a dude and I can work a sewing machine, its really not that hard. Im short and skinny (5'5" 130lbs 28"waist) so finding clothes that fit me has always been a problem (I often buy clothes from Japan or England because thier M is a US S (A US Small is a Japanese Large))

What I hate about scrubs are the cutesy patterns of cuddly bears or flower pots, or yellow snails...really?

anyway, find a good seamstress/tailor and they will be your best freind. Seriously you will end up naming your first child after them.

[MissJulie]

I'm 5'7" with a 42" chest, I don't know my waist and hip measurements and I don't care to! Anyway, I've found the most success with Cherokee Workwear pants, they seem to be cut for gals with hips, and yes, some have the "three in slit" in the side, but a few simple stiches could solve that issue! As for the tops, the best ones for me seem to be from either Cherokee or WalMart, I know, I know, but sometimes you've got to look outside the box!

Or, if you can at least find the pants that you can live with, find a seamstress and have some tops custom made. You'll have patterns that noone else has and the necklines, etc. can be customized for your tastes. I've not ventured this far, but one of the girls I work with has a large chest and is pretty small in the rest of her body (almost to Pam Anderson preportions) and she's made her own, otherwise she would have wound up looking like she was hiding a family in her tops!

[JenniferSews]

I agree! I'm 5'6" and 130 lbs. I am NOT well endowed. Sadly I bought some tops I thought would be stylish but the cut has patients and random people at the gas station and grocery store asking me when I am due. Grrrr!

[redhead_NURSE98!, ADN, BSN]

interesting thread. You really should 1. do more cardio and 2. learn how to tailor.

Im a dude and I can work a sewing machine, its really not that hard. Im short and skinny (5'5" 130lbs 28"waist) so finding clothes that fit me has always been a problem (I often buy clothes from Japan or England because thier M is a US S (A US Small is a Japanese Large))

What I hate about scrubs are the cutesy patterns of cuddly bears or flower pots, or yellow snails...really?

anyway, find a good seamstress/tailor and they will be your best freind. Seriously you will end up naming your first child after them.

Wow, someone could just as easily tell you to eat a sandwich...but they're probably not that rude

[FunnyPants]

"Urbane. Also a heart-breaker, this one. They get the closest to 'modern' fit of all brands I've tried thus far. Unfortunately, they're clearly designed by non-medical professionals and thus have no pockets. My heart breaks when I find awesome-fitting Urbane pants with NO POCKETS ANYWHERE. It's like a magic trick - guess where all the pockets have gone? And the catch is that they never existed in the first place. Sob."

I had the same sentiments about urbane pants today!! What in the heck am I going to put my damn flushes? Pockets are important!! Then I realized that perhaps unit clerks, medical assistants, etc may not have a need for too many (pant) pockets. my tid bit.