Hi there, I am so distraught, been so upset over what I did. I made an error several months ago and just recently made an error, not giving the wrong med but gave twice do to someone else gave it. I feel like an incompetent nurse but worse, I will get fired if anything else happens and now I am scared to the point of wanting to look for other work. I love where I work and the people there, but I am so afraid. I felt worse over what happened than my employer even realizes, I beat myself up over and over for a long time over things like this. I want to do my best. To help things I have slowed down, read my meds like 3 times before giving, any questions on med I look in computer or ask the caregivers directly before giving meds. I also ask for more help now if I need someone to help me when having an off day. I feel like my career is ending and don't know what to do. On top of things, we are going electronic logs and I am so not good at doing narrative notes. I try to do it right, my best...I just want all my narrative notes to be accurate as to how they should be. I am practicing more and doing better, but I hope this is enough. I am on edge, feel like I have let everyone down including myself. My residents are okay, but I really was so scared. I love these people and would never hurt anyone! I thought that everyone makes errors, including med errors. I am not careless, I was just not thinking to use the computer to double check. I feel terrible! So my thing is that if we have learned from our mistake and the patient is okay, is it that we will lose our job because we are not perfect? I just wish we did not use planners and have everything handled electronically or in packets with dates. I guess I am done writing, even feeling worse I just cry each night hoping I can be perfect!
May 16, '12
Please, stop beating yourself up --- strive for excellence, not perfection. Hugs & good wishes for you.