Obama orders same-sex hospital visits - page 5

by piscesguy

"Gay, lesbian couples must be allowed visitors, medical power of attorney. President Obama mandated Thursday that nearly all hospitals extend visitation rights to the partners of gay men and lesbians and respect patients'... Read More


  1. 1
    Quote from eriksoln
    Eh, I don't like the term homophobia. I kinda put it in the same box as "Nurses eat their young". Its just a term people use to beat other people over the head with. The term takes away the right to dislike the gay lifestyle from, as you put it, "people with conservative religious views." I believe in the right to say you disapprove of the lifestyle every bit as much as you have to right to support it. Its only a matter of not stepping on anyone else's rights. Not allowing someone to visit a loved one in the hospital is a good example. Most gay lifestyle nay sayers I know are more mature than that.

    When I mentioned the moral compass, I meant us the nurses, not the patients or their family members. Advocating for the pt. is a major part of nursing. Not allowing family members who are using a partner's lifestyle as a stick to beat them over the head and cut of visitation is the time to advocate for the pt. And, you did. You allowed him to visit when the mother wasn't around. You'd be surprised, but most (not all) of us in the profession, even those like me with no real interest in the gay rights movement, would have done the same thing. Which brings us back to my original point. This law is cosmetic and nothing more than bantering for the spotlight. No one is doing anything different because of it.

    IDK about the hospital you work in. No hospital I worked in would have given the mother that kind of decision making power unless she were the legal POA or had been named the medical decision maker during the admission process. He was found unconscious, so he couldn't have named her the decision maker. Unless there was a legal document on the chart declaring her the POA, she would not have been granted the power to limit and choose visitors, blood relatives and non included. She would have ranted and raved at the nurses, which is fine, we are used to it, but in the end the answer from us and from everyone else all the way to the top would have been that same "Sorry, we can not legally stop anyone from visiting unless they are a danger to the pt. The partner has not demonstrated to us that he is a danger." If your hospital and superiors supported her decision, that is just poor pt. care on their part.

    I was a travel nurse for two years, and my first job before that was on a M/S floor that took in the "inpatient hospice" patients. I've cared for enough gay patients to know what I'm talking about. I know work on a pulmonary floor that takes all vent pt's no longer suitable for the ICU..........gay, str8, white, black....w/e. I'm not completely blind to the fact that there are family members and nurses still who disprove of the gay lifestyle and let their feelings be known in in appropriate ways. I have taken patients refused by other nurses because the pt has HIV, is gay, and the nurse on the other unit refuses to administer ordered blood products. These dense people are not the norm though, and there is not enough of it for me to even call them a minority. By no means is it enough of a problem to justify tying up the president's time when things like unemployment, lack of jobs and poor economic standing for the country are on the table. These problems touch EVERYONE's lives, gay rights vs. "conservative religious views" is rarely more than coffee table chat on most days. And I certainly don't need a law written by a president who can't get his house in order to tell me how to care for my gay patients.

    Actually, I was a nurse aid at the age of 19. Thats late 80's and early 90's so, no, you don't have a monopoly on experiencing the times where the AIDs epidemic brought out gay rights opponents in full arms. There were lots of other nurses in lots of other hospitals taking care of other patients dealing with the same thing, not just you on your unit saving every known case of AIDs. I know having a lesbian daughter must be hard and all, but come on, your experiences are pretty commonplace.
    Having gay and lesbian people in my family is not hard at all. It is dealing with ignorant people that is hard.

    I can see here that you have a lot to learn about gay and lesbian people. By equating "homophobia" with "nurses eat their young" and using the term "gay lifestyle" tells me that you don't really know much about the gay people and their supporters. I urge you to further your education. Perhaps obtain some CEUs towards renewing your license by taking a workshop about issues of LGBT people. If would greatly benefit your understanding of them and thoes of us who love them and would benefit your LGBT patinets as well.

    Best to you,
    Mrs H.
    SnowShoeRN likes this.
  2. 0
    Quote from HazelLPN
    Having gay and lesbian people in my family is not hard at all. It is dealing with ignorant people that is hard.

    I can see here that you have a lot to learn about gay and lesbian people. By equating "homophobia" with "nurses eat their young" and using the term "gay lifestyle" tells me that you don't really know much about the gay people and their supporters. I urge you to further your education. Perhaps obtain some CEUs towards renewing your license by taking a workshop about issues of LGBT people. If would greatly benefit your understanding of them and thoes of us who love them and would benefit your LGBT patinets as well.

    Best to you,
    Mrs H.
    Your cavalier approach to gay rights says otherwise. Ask yourself this, are you trying to convince me or yourself that this new law is progress? Between you and the president, you'd think everything were fine with the country.............if only we set those gay rights opponents straight (no pun intended).

    I wouldn't spend my time or money on such an issue. Unlike our president, my priorities are in order and I realize there are bigger fish to fry on the table right now. Many many CEUs out there that will have a practical influence on my education and nursing delivery that I'd do long before that.
  3. 2
    Quote from Paco386
    That is utter ridiculousness, seriously. Gay marriage would solve all these kind of problems. I mean, if a hetero man or woman simply say they are married to ED staff, I don't think they are asked to prove it, right? No need for a MPOA. We still have a long way to go before we become an accepting and benevolent society
    You make an excellent point.
    Not_A_Hat_Person and HazelLPN like this.
  4. 1
    Quote from eriksoln
    Your cavalier approach to gay rights says otherwise. Ask yourself this, are you trying to convince me or yourself that this new law is progress? Between you and the president, you'd think everything were fine with the country.............if only we set those gay rights opponents straight (no pun intended).

    I wouldn't spend my time or money on such an issue. Unlike our president, my priorities are in order and I realize there are bigger fish to fry on the table right now. Many many CEUs out there that will have a practical influence on my education and nursing delivery that I'd do long before that.
    So be it. Education can come either formally or informally. Something tells me you will learn in much more powerful ways that any workshop could ever teach you.

    Best to you,
    Mrs H.
    SnowShoeRN likes this.
  5. 4
    I'm a lesbian. I'm also very much in the closet when it comes to my family. With my friends/coworkers, I'm out. My parents are completely unaware that in 2006, I (not legally recognized) married my wife. Had anything happened and I would have ended up in the hospital unable to speak for myself, she would have been completely shut out. Why is it that we need special legal paperwork to have what everyone else who is married can get with so much less trouble? My relationship was no different than that of any other heterosexual married couple. I will grant that there are other issues that need addressed in the world, but I'm pretty sure that the government can focus on more than a single issue/task at a time.
    fetch, SnowShoeRN, Not_A_Hat_Person, and 1 other like this.
  6. 2
    Quote from poetnyouknowit
    I'm a lesbian. I'm also very much in the closet when it comes to my family. With my friends/coworkers, I'm out. My parents are completely unaware that in 2006, I (not legally recognized) married my wife. Had anything happened and I would have ended up in the hospital unable to speak for myself, she would have been completely shut out. Why is it that we need special legal paperwork to have what everyone else who is married can get with so much less trouble? My relationship was no different than that of any other heterosexual married couple. I will grant that there are other issues that need addressed in the world, but I'm pretty sure that the government can focus on more than a single issue/task at a time.
    But, am I wrong when I say a simple POA would solve all this?

    And thats not any more special paperwork than heterosexual couples need. Many times family have very different views on end of life care or other aspects of medical practice. So, the person in question often makes the one who's views reflect theirs the POA. I know many elderly who make a son/daughter POA because they don't like this or that about the other. Same thing. Make your partner POA in a living will and their right to be there is protected.
  7. 3
    Many people have been working on this issue for years. Though I applaud the President, this action should not be interpreted to mean that hospitals have been banning gay partners from visiting their loved ones or prohibited by law from granting their partners medical POA.

    Everyone, put your wishes into writing in advance! Nothing on earth is worse than seeing families and partners squabbling as their loved one is critically ill or passing away.
  8. 1
    Quote from eriksoln
    But, am I wrong when I say a simple POA would solve all this?

    And thats not any more special paperwork than heterosexual couples need. Many times family have very different views on end of life care or other aspects of medical practice. So, the person in question often makes the one who's views reflect theirs the POA. I know many elderly who make a son/daughter POA because they don't like this or that about the other. Same thing. Make your partner POA in a living will and their right to be there is protected.
    No, you're not wrong, but it is an additional step. I already did what heterosexual couples do- get married. But that isn't enough, and the extra step is required. How is that fair/equitable? It's not the same as a cohabiting non-married couple.
    HazelLPN likes this.
  9. 2
    [
    QUOTE=eriksoln;4402125]OK. This whole article heats me up.

    Basically, what it is telling me is: Obama is busy passing laws for things that...........are already being done the way the says it must be done.............instead of working on finding jobs for the middle class and getting on BP about the oil spill or......well, a million other things that should be on the priority list long before this garbage is even discussed.

    Economy not getting better, more and more people nearing the end of their unemployment time, lots of issues relating to the oil spill not dealt with yet, implementation of his healthcare plan needs supervision...........and he is passing laws about.........gay hospital visitation rights? Eh?

    That is the equivalent of worrying about what color window blinds to buy while ignoring that the basement is flooded or the attic is on fire.
    Erik, I agree that the announcement may have had a PR element to it, but it isn't as if the President is in the Oval Office with a "to do" list all by himself, and he's concentrating on LGBT issues when he could be out finding jobs for the middle class. He sets the general priorities and has a staff of hundreds to implement them. Then they send him a draft statement, he approves it, and someone arranges the hows, whats and wherefores of the announcement to maximize the political benefit. All Presidents do that.

    We'll never find common ground if we use language with allusions to violence and name-calling. He is anything but an idiot, like or not.
    Not_A_Hat_Person and HazelLPN like this.
  10. 0
    Quote from poetnyouknowit
    No, you're not wrong, but it is an additional step. I already did what heterosexual couples do- get married. But that isn't enough, and the extra step is required. How is that fair/equitable? It's not the same as a cohabiting non-married couple.
    Ah. I guess thats where we differ. I don't think its an extra step. Heck, I'm going to do it and I am heterosexual. Why? My parents have some interesting interpretations of what "God" wants with regards to end of life care...........and I do not agree. They are they people you see in the hospital with a loved one hanging on by a thread, insisting on this and that when there is not hope. They will keep you alive, vented, for years if need be. Not going to happen to me. I'm making sure of it, if something happens to me, it is very clear they are not in charge of me.


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