Midwife delivers baby, takes husband.

  1. 0 What was this midwife thinking? Get thee back to ethics class!

    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/825...tients-husband

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  3. Visit  twin1RN profile page

    About twin1RN

    From 'VIC'; Joined Oct '10; Posts: 15; Likes: 19.

    27 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  Otessa profile page
    5
    Don't know who to dislike more: the midwife or the husband. they are both to blame.

    this why I only friend actual friends!
  5. Visit  leslie :-D profile page
    4
    yes, it sucks...we all know that.
    still, the marriage couldn't have been much to brag about in the first place.
    one day, mrs. malin will see the blessing in it, i believe that.

    leslie
    Otessa, Batman25, punkydoodlesRN, and 1 other like this.
  6. Visit  Trenia profile page
    0
    She reportedly told a friend: "All my hopes have been taken from me by a woman who was in a trusted position. "
    She didn't really abuse her position to enter into that affair. It would be the same situation if the wife ran off with the pool boy. She happened to meet the husband through her services, but the fact that she was a midwife seems irrelevant.
  7. Visit  rn/writer profile page
    19
    Quote from Trenia
    She didn't really abuse her position to enter into that affair. It would be the same situation if the wife ran off with the pool boy. She happened to meet the husband through her services, but the fact that she was a midwife seems irrelevant.
    No offense against pool boys (or in this politically correct age, pool persons), but they are not highly licensed and regulated professionals. We do not depend upon them to care for us in life-and-death situations. They are not usually involved in our private details and acquainted with our personal and medical history.

    This midwife is absolutely in the wrong to take advantage of her intimate connection to this family. Patients and family members can develop an attachment to a healthcare provider who was there for them in a time of need. They see the provider at their best and most capable moments, and an attachment can develop. This is especially so when the patient is the mother of a newborn who may have been tired and stressed and may not have been all that interested in sex.

    The husband was also wrong, but unfortunately, there is no governing body that oversees the behavior of those who hold marriage licenses.

    No matter what the husband did, whatever blame the midwife might want to place on him, it was her responsibility to put the kibosh on any advances he made. Even if she was attracted to him. Even if it was his idea. Even if the marriage was rocky to begin with.

    There simply is no excuse for becoming involved with a patient or a family member in this detrimental fashion. None.
    Rocknurse, mystory, JRP1120, RN, and 16 others like this.
  8. Visit  Trenia profile page
    0
    Quote from rn/writer
    No offense against pool boys (or in this politically correct age, pool persons), but they are not highly licensed and regulated professionals. We do not depend upon them to care for us in life-and-death situations. They are not usually involved in our private details and acquainted with our personal and medical history.

    This midwife is absolutely in the wrong to take advantage of her intimate connection to this family. Patients and family members can develop an attachment to a healthcare provider who was there for them in a time of need. They see the provider at their best and most capable moments, and an attachment can develop. This is especially so when the patient is the mother of a newborn who may have been tired and stressed and may not have been all that interested in sex.

    The husband was also wrong, but unfortunately, there is no governing body that oversees the behavior of those who hold marriage licenses.

    No matter what the husband did, whatever blame the midwife might want to place on him, it was her responsibility to put the kibosh on any advances he made. Even if she was attracted to him. Even if it was his idea. Even if the marriage was rocky to begin with.

    There simply is no excuse for becoming involved with a patient or a family member in this detrimental fashion. None.
    I understand your argument completely, but I don't think the terms in which someone meets another person should constrict their relational development. She wasn't sleeping with the husband while caring for the wife (I think). How long should they have to wait? If they got a divorce would it still be an issue? Some people do not view a marriage license with as much importance as others.

    Of course I think what happened to the mother was terrible, and I agree with you that the midwife and husband deceiving her is wrong. I'm just curious.
  9. Visit  ShayRN profile page
    7
    What I want to see is the follow up 5 years from now, you know, when he leaves the midwife for the next woman. People like this don't change and if you are slimey enough to leave your wife and 5 month old baby for another woman, in a very short period of time, you are going to find someone else as well. Karma is a wonderful thing....
    shoegalRN, Otessa, imintrouble, and 4 others like this.
  10. Visit  ITSSOSIMPLE profile page
    0
    Quote from ShayRN
    What I want to see is the follow up 5 years from now, you know, when he leaves the midwife for the next woman. People like this don't change and if you are slimey enough to leave your wife and 5 month old baby for another woman, in a very short period of time, you are going to find someone else as well. Karma is a wonderful thing....


    The fact that she is being investigated speaks volumes about her lack of ethics! Most medical boards forbid relationships
    not only with the patient, but family members as well.
  11. Visit  rn/writer profile page
    2
    Quote from Trenia
    I understand your argument completely, but I don't think the terms in which someone meets another person should constrict their relational development. She wasn't sleeping with the husband while caring for the wife (I think). How long should they have to wait? If they got a divorce would it still be an issue? Some people do not view a marriage license with as much importance as others.

    Of course I think what happened to the mother was terrible, and I agree with you that the midwife and husband deceiving her is wrong. I'm just curious.
    Ethics and having a professional conscience should be the forces that "constrict" relational development. It's crucial for anyone in a position of trust--nurse, doctor, teacher, pastor, etc.--to recognize and resist the temptation to cross the line that separates them from the people they are supposed to be caring for. They have an unfair advantage in these equations that can predispose those under their care to see them in the best light and regard them with warmth, affection, and a sense of need. In addition, those seeking treatment or teaching or counseling bring with them a vulnerability that a good caregiver will not take advantage of and will, in fact, protect.

    People who do not have the principles and the strength to back away from this kind of attraction should not go into career fields that require them to put their patient's/client's/student's interests ahead of their own.

    If an attraction develops and there are no impediments--neither is married or for some other reason unavailable--the most commonly suggested standard is a waiting period of a year after the professional relationship has ended to begin a social/romantic relationship.
    Last edit by rn/writer on May 31, '11
    imintrouble and Jolie like this.
  12. Visit  Turd Ferguson profile page
    0
    Quote from rn/writer
    No offense against pool boys (or in this politically correct age, pool persons), but they are not highly licensed and regulated professionals. We do not depend upon them to care for us in life-and-death situations.
    Going off on a tangent... not trying to instigate anything, I'm just curious- I didn't think that midwives were licensed or regulated, and they are only really qualified to take care of stable low-risk cases? Correct me if I'm wrong!

    PS- They're both to blame. The midwife crossed numerous professional and ethical boundaries, and the guy just sounds like your run of the mill dirtbag.
  13. Visit  Trenia profile page
    0
    Quote from rn/writer
    Ethics and having a professional conscience should be the forces that "constrict" relational development. It's crucial for anyone in a position of trust--nurse, doctor, teacher, pastor, etc.--to recognize and resist the temptation to cross the line that separates them from the people they are supposed to be caring for. They have an unfair advantage in these equations that can predispose those under their care to see them in the best light and regard them with warmth, affection, and a sense of need. In addition, those in seeking treatment or teaching or counseling bring with them a vulnerability that a good caregiver will not take advantage of and will, in fact, protect.
    I understand that the people they are caring for are vulnerable, but once the midwife left the the home she was no longer with that family. If her and the husband start talking on Facebook and develop a relationship so be it. I'm not saying someone who does that is morally strong, but they're adults. To me, once the midwife has left that home it would be the same if she was having an affair with a any other person's husband.

    People who do not have the principles and the strength to back away from this kind of attraction should not go into career fields that require them to put their patient's/client's/student's interests above their own.
    Again, she was no longer a patient.

    If an attraction develops and there are no impediments--neither is married or for some other reason unavailable--the most commonly suggested standard is a waiting period of a year after the professional relationship has ended to begin a social/romantic relationship.
    Marriage means different things to different people. Should the same standard apply to the couple that got drunk one night and decided to head to Vegas for a shotgun wedding? For all we know, that child could have been a last ditch effort to save their spiraling relationship. I don't see the difference in waiting a year and waiting a month to peruse a relationship. I just don't see how the midwife abused her relationship with the family to get with the husband.

    Just to make things perfectly clear again, I can see how this is ethically not 100% okay, and I would be devastated if my girlfriend left me in a situation similar to this (I don't see it being my pregnancy though). However, I don't believe that her license should be question; even though I wouldn't hire her.
  14. Visit  Jolie profile page
    3
    Turd,

    There are a number of classifications of midwives here in the U.S.

    CNM's (Certified Nurse Midwives) are advanced practice RN's with privileges and responsibilities similar to nurse practitioners, clinical nurse specialists and certified registered nurse anesthetists. They are Masters prepared RN's with specialized training.

    CPM's (Certified Professional Midwives) are non-nurses with formal education in the care of childbearing women. They are certified by a professional body (I don't know the name of it.) and legally recognized to practice in some states, but not all.

    Lay midwives offer prenatal care and delivery services based upon an apprentice type of education. They are not licensed to practice and their practice is illegal in many states.

    I believe this article describes a midwife in England, where most prenatal care and delivery services are provided by midwives. In England, most women do not seek or receive physican care for pregnancy, unless a complication is identified.
  15. Visit  rn/writer profile page
    4
    Just to make things perfectly clear again, I can see how this is ethically not 100% okay, and I would be devastated if my girlfriend left me in a situation similar to this (I don't see it being my pregnancy though). However, I don't believe that her license should be question;
    Ethical standards are a necessary requirement of holding a license.

    I don't see the difference in waiting a year and waiting a month to peruse a relationship. I just don't see how the midwife abused her relationship with the family to get with the husband.
    Walking out the door does not instantly end the professional relationship.

    In many fields, professionals are encouraged to steer clear of connecting with clients/patients on Facebook or other social sites. This runs so much deeper. If there aren't clear-cut lines between one's professional life and one's private life, messy little things like conflict of interest and breach of trust can and do occur.

    If you can't see it, you can't see it. But I think most of us can.


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