wrong injection for the patient

it was definetly my error and I cant say anything about this to defend myself. I made a wrong step. A rather minor thing to the patient compared to what it has caused me now. I wouldn't hurt myself but I feel numb, I'm crying all the time and wish I wouldn't have to continue with this life any longer. My life dream was just destroyed. Getting registration in the country where I always wanted to live in, working there, ... I don't think I can ever get registration with another nursing board in the future if they really forward it to the irish nursing board and this incident will be on my chart especially as i cannot say much to defend myself. I just ruined my life and watch the pieces...

the whole story wouldnt be as dramatic if

a) the patient and the husband both wouldnt work for the HSE in some high position (the irish healthboard)
b) the incident happened with a patient in a public hospital, private patients here in Ireland tend to be very particular and have high expectations.

The patient was on Oxycontin BD regular prescription and she got Oxynorm i.m. from me . Here in Ireland both medications are used as PRN medications (Oxycontin and Oxynorm r the same just different routes of administration), actually most patients returning to the ward after theatre are on it PRN for the first day or two

Today I went to see my agency and had to fill out thier incident form. Theyve been very understanding and nonjudgmental, however I am terrified of what the outcome might be.

@Hilinenursegrl:
first of all i am very sorry about what a horrible loss youve had. i wish you have (and had) good friends to turn to and who support(ed) you.
you are right in one thing: you do not loose the registration for a med error like this and if you plan to continue working in the same country you will still be able to find work (however it might be more difficult after an incident like this in case the nursing board has knowledge of it)
in germany (where im from) nothing like this would have happened. I do not plan to stay here in ireland, in fact i came here to collect work experience in an english speaking country so that after about a year i can apply in the country where i always wanted to go (out of many reasons including personal ones). I arranged my whole life and made lots of preparations for this.
All this would be ruined, i cant apply for registration in another nursing board with a fresh incident, they might simply turn my application down.

the manager of my agency is now with he nursing management of the hospital... he promised to call me once the meeting is over... im staring at the phone and it doesnt ring. this call will decide about many things. i havent eaten anyhing today and i have stomach cramps.

thanks a lot for ur kind words beautifulblair.
a short update: my error wasnt sent to the nursingboard, but i cannot do shifts for this agency now = i am unemployed. First reaction: Panic, tears. I spoke with my agency on the phone and they said when the investigations are over i might be able to work for them again and they recommended me joining another agency, a bigger one who also works with public hospitals (=i prefer "normal" patients anyway). Until i am registered with them ill work for 1 or 2 weeks agency as care assistant and will continue my work as a nurse once im signed up with the agency.
HOpefully things work out... after a big collapse today i decided not to give up. I learnt a great deal from my error... My agency said it would never have been such an issue anyway hadnt the patient and her husband been so aggressive
im exhausted...