hello ktwlpn, i feel your pain.
i have been 'counseled' during my previous job because of behavior similar to yours. i took an honest look at myself and realized that i was scared to death of being on my own on the floor, and the most toxic group of people you could put together. i worked there for 7 miserable months until i couldn't take it anymore.
the end came for me one hellish understaffed sunday when i was interrupted by the rn who was covering for me during the short amount of time i had to inhale my lunch, 3 times in 10 minutes. i had told her the important stuff that was going on with the one troublesome (psych troublesome, not medically unstable) patient. after my lunch i was helping the aid with one of her patients and pointed out some excoriated skin around the patient's privates b/c it didn't look like it had been attended to -- she blew up at me (her: new grad, 22 years old, bsn / me: new grad, adn, quite a bit past 22 years old) and told me i was stupid and didn't i think that she 'knew her patients better than me' and "wtf is wrong with me". i need to add that i addressed this with her in the most conversational tone and at the nurse's station, quietly, between the two of us. i used the same tone that i might have said "i brought your patient another blanket".
the next time i worked i was written up for unprofessional conduct.
i resigned on the spot -- gave my two weeks notice and never looked back. it was a shame, too, because i wanted to stay with this hospital -- it's close to home, has a good reputation, and i had worked there for three years while getting my adn. the 22 year old bsn was one of the manager's pets = i knew i never had a chance. the nm told me that she thought that i had a 'pattern of conduct'.
in my case, if you get off on the wrong foot it's tough going from that point forward. it's important to have a good working relationship with your manager/s. most importantly, protect your well-being.
if you cannot confront these two appropriately, tweedledum and tweedledummer will continue to erode your self esteem.
you sound like an awesome nurse and i wish you the best of luck. you are not alone. there are others who work in the toxic environments all the time and end up getting eaten alive because of it. if you can go up the chain of command and let the current ptb know you are documenting their little chatfests then you may have a shot at a good argument. but i don't really think that managers side with rn's because of their own insecurities.
if you love what you do, can you do it someplace else? someplace that will support an awesome nurse and help you grow professionally and personally? that's my wish for you. :angel2: