problem with management(jnette-please read)

  1. I won't get tooo specific here but I want to vent and get a little advice from you all....I seem to have a big personality clash with 2 of the powers that be(I am not the only one to be sure) They so enjoy torturing the staff when they can.One has a bit of a volatile personality and is rigid,controlling and very cold-the other has almost a flat affect and unless you really kiss her butt she has no time for you....I can be over-bearing,I'll admit.I can be loud and am out-spoken and very passionate about what I do....I have NEVER received any official verbal or written warning and have always gotten excellent evals however these 2 NEVER miss a chance to get me in the office and question my judgement or call me to task for seemingly questioning their authority.God Forbid I have an idea because I have gone to the trouble of researching a new resident's condition and want to get a careplan going that might be more then your basic 3 hots and a cot thing...I do love my job (most days) I have a great unit and am usually left alone....My plan is too work there until I retire....I don't know if either of them will EVER retire.. I have been having some problems of a personal nature (did not effect my job performance but did effect my general mood)and a few of the times I have been "chastized" by this pair I ended up in tears...Thankfully I have my depression back under some control and can stand strong....Anyway-you don't have to LOVE any of your co-workers but you have to treat them fairly and I think those 2 are incapable of doing that....I "make waves" I am not good at kissing butts and if I see a problem I try to improve it....Too many of my co-workers are just going through the motions and that is acceptable behavior.I also stand up fpr myself when a peer is inappropriate however I end up being counseled and told to be flexible and tolerate the behaviors of the old wacko nurses(you know-the ones that flip out if the med cups are not stacked on top of the med cart the way they want them)....That is NOT the kind of nurse I want to be...I have been called on the carpet for doing too good a job...go figure.... I know if I try to go up the chain of command with a grievance I will be commiting professional suicide so I either try to stay under the radar and be scared to death that sometime I will make a real mistake and be CRUCIFIED or try to handle it one on one on a personal level...That's really what I think it is-I don't like either one of them as people or nurses and they don't like me-however they can't hang me because I am a competent nurse....I have started documenting the little torture sessions.....should I walk out of the next? They never document anything...Should I tell them I feel as though I am being harrassed? I can honestly say that since I have been on my unit we have made positve changes in the lives of many of our residents and their families-I am proud of the job we are doing (I work with the BEST cna's) I am so torn....argh.....I have never felt the need to put someone else down to make myself feel better-I try to be courteous and respectful to all-and if I get snappish because I am harried I will go back and apologize....Sheesh I am tired of being screamed at and being treated like an idiot.......
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   nurseunderwater
    I know I don't really know your history etc. and this may be a simple question...Do you have to stay there till you retire? It sounds as though aside from your pts that you love, your not getting a whole lot from the job. I don't know if I could stay at a job loooooooong term where I did not enjoy the company of my co-workers. Also you mentioned depression. I have dealt with and am dealing with this issue in my life as well. I would have a hard time working in an environment where the atmosphere of my co-workers was so emotionally sterile. So, I apologize if I have assumed to much or have been too candid. I wish you luck - Kate
  4. by   Tweety
    Don't change a bit, continue to concentrate on the patients and keep your focus there. Continue to document, but don't walk out. Try to make these sessions productive finding out exactly what they problem is. Let them know how you feel, if they are making you angry, less than, feeling harrassed, then calmly and profressionally state those facts.

    Take a look at your admitted loudness and overbearing personality. If some adjustments need to be made for the sake of peace, then do that. Sometimes that's not necessary to be a patient advocate, sometimes it is.

    You sound like an awesome nurse. Unfortunately you are stuck in an environment of mediocrity (sp?) and are expected to come down to their level. I know you're not going to do that. It's not in your nature. Keep on keeping on. Good luck!
  5. by   MandyInMS
    Bless your heart..I know how you feel (((hugzzz)))..it's worse to be "double teamed" though...My suggestion would be to call a meeting with each of them..one on one...I'm afraid if you met with them BOTH they'd feed off of each other (I know the type)..calmly and professionally explain your side/issues and see what THEY suggest would make things more smooth for everyone..put the ball in their court and see what happens...I had a similar situation while back (too long to go into) and I did this..everything worked out..I was just open and honest, and explained what was/was not acceptable for me...it was like a 2 ton load off my shoulders.....I wish you the best of luck hun
  6. by   bellehill
    You have already gotten some good advice, talk to your managers one-on-one instead of being out numbered. Tell them you feel harrassed, ask them how you can change. If nothing improves consider a change for your own mental health. Working in a stressful environment can wear on you very quickly. Sounds like you really like your floor and most of the people you work with...talk to management and try to settle some of these issues.
  7. by   nightmare
    Wow,ktwlpn,your management sounds just like mine!!I take it you are in America,here in Scotland,if we have a greivance we can take an advocate into the meeting with us to act as a witness.By advocate I mean a friend or collegue that you trust or a steward of your union if you are in one.Once you have had you meetings and had them witnessed and documented can you go to a higher level than these managers?
    I hope you manage to sort this out so that you can continue ,dont drop your standards for anyone! Good luck.
  8. by   ktwlpn
    Thanks for all of the awesome advice-you all rock...It helps to hear that others have had this kind of experience,too-I was afraid that I was paranoid and delusional.I will not walk away from this job without a fight.I sometimes can go for weeks or so without having to deal directly with the Great and Powerful Oz-the monkey turns up a bit more often and I think I will start with her and try the 1 to 1 approach the next time something ridiculous happens...I really do believe in what we are doing and I only have 12 yrs until I can retire-we have the best benefits in this area-by far....On a daily basis things are really OK-I have had 2 of these little sessions in a month-prior to that it was several months since the last...I am working on myself,also...I AM loud and like to laugh and joke with the residents,visitiors and staff and the wizard REALLY hates that....I am afraid that their dislike of me will prevent me from being a good patient advocate so I am learning to get what I want for the residents by creatively going in through the back door........Seriously-these people are stereotypical old school-they do NOT like change...They were on the floor back in the days when every resident was restrained in bed by 8pm......and reality re-orientation was the thing for the demented....They really liked telling some poor old soul that their mother was dead and had been for 50 yrs.....My last employment in LTC was a pretty private facility and staffing was a NIGHTMARE-I can deal with the BS where I am now knowing that the residents are getting the care they deserve.....thanks again...
  9. by   nurseunderwater
    ((((((ktwlpn)))))) - what a blessing you are to the residents in your facility....what an awesome example of a nurse you are.
  10. by   moia
    You are in a really bad spot here. You have been counselled a number of times and as far as you know there is nothing in your employment file...don't be so sure.
    I would go to HR and look at your file immediantly.
    If there are counselling letters in there you may want to call a meeting with management and HR and ask for a chance to insert a rebuttal to the letters.

    If there is no record anywhere of any counselling I would make sure the very next time tweedledee and tweedledum haul you in you take copious notes of the meeting...make it obvious you are writing every word down...you desperately need a record of their bizarre little sessions with you so if something happens you can present them and have evidence of a pattern of harassment.
    The very fact that you are recording the meeting may stop them from harassing you.
    If there is no record then the situational becomes who to believe and I can say without a doubt senior management will side with your managers every time .
  11. by   Stitchie
    hello ktwlpn, i feel your pain.

    i have been 'counseled' during my previous job because of behavior similar to yours. i took an honest look at myself and realized that i was scared to death of being on my own on the floor, and the most toxic group of people you could put together. i worked there for 7 miserable months until i couldn't take it anymore.

    the end came for me one hellish understaffed sunday when i was interrupted by the rn who was covering for me during the short amount of time i had to inhale my lunch, 3 times in 10 minutes. i had told her the important stuff that was going on with the one troublesome (psych troublesome, not medically unstable) patient. after my lunch i was helping the aid with one of her patients and pointed out some excoriated skin around the patient's privates b/c it didn't look like it had been attended to -- she blew up at me (her: new grad, 22 years old, bsn / me: new grad, adn, quite a bit past 22 years old) and told me i was stupid and didn't i think that she 'knew her patients better than me' and "wtf is wrong with me". i need to add that i addressed this with her in the most conversational tone and at the nurse's station, quietly, between the two of us. i used the same tone that i might have said "i brought your patient another blanket".
    the next time i worked i was written up for unprofessional conduct. i resigned on the spot -- gave my two weeks notice and never looked back. it was a shame, too, because i wanted to stay with this hospital -- it's close to home, has a good reputation, and i had worked there for three years while getting my adn. the 22 year old bsn was one of the manager's pets = i knew i never had a chance. the nm told me that she thought that i had a 'pattern of conduct'.

    in my case, if you get off on the wrong foot it's tough going from that point forward. it's important to have a good working relationship with your manager/s. most importantly, protect your well-being.

    if you cannot confront these two appropriately, tweedledum and tweedledummer will continue to erode your self esteem.

    you sound like an awesome nurse and i wish you the best of luck. you are not alone. there are others who work in the toxic environments all the time and end up getting eaten alive because of it. if you can go up the chain of command and let the current ptb know you are documenting their little chatfests then you may have a shot at a good argument. but i don't really think that managers side with rn's because of their own insecurities.

    if you love what you do, can you do it someplace else? someplace that will support an awesome nurse and help you grow professionally and personally? that's my wish for you. :angel2:
    Last edit by Stitchie on May 2, '04
  12. by   mattsmom81
    I have learned the hard way not to stay anywhere where my immediate supervisor treats me the way you describe. It is simply too easy for them to sink you. Be careful.
  13. by   jnette
    Sorry, KTWLPN... just came across this thread.

    I would have to agree wholeheartedly with what Tweetie stated above.

    I too, think you are an awesome nurse... and unfortuantely therefore also a "threat" to the egos of others.


    Continue to be the advocate you are, and do what you KNOW is to be good, true, and right for your patients. If it can be done subtly, all the better. If you can find non threatening ways to motivate other staff to follow your lead and get them to delight in the improved responses of your patients... even get them to see that they (staff) are the very ones who have initiated these improvements and pat them on the back for it, all the better.

    Some things are best done quietly and patiently.

    And still, "improvements" noticed by TPTB may not be appreciated or recognized, simply because these inflated egos have been threatened by one damn good nurse. They just can't handle it. So very sad, yet so very common.

    DO as much as you can get away with, and if they attempt to squelch your efforts to the point of affecting(diminishing) the care of your patients, then it is time to go.

    Yes, personality conflicts ... unfortunately they affect more than the personalities involved.

    I wish you peace...and justice.... and continued genuine care for your beloved patients. They deserve it, and in the end, it is the PATIENT who it's all about... not "personalities". :kiss
  14. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Quote from mattsmom81
    I have learned the hard way not to stay anywhere where my immediate supervisor treats me the way you describe. It is simply too easy for them to sink you. Be careful.

    Once again, I agree w/ mattsmom.

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