Privacy question

  1. I have posted many times regarding my position as a CNA in LTC. It has been an extremely negative one. To sum it up, I have watched CNA's be neglectful of residents, I have watched LPN's be verbally abusive and intimidating to their CNA's, I have watched RN's be all of those things to everyone.

    Recently I went to my physician with my anxiety. Four months of this earned me daily panic attacks as well as non-stop loose bm's. He gave me a prescription and wrote me a dr note for work advising me not to return to work for the rest of the week

    As always, the RN supervisor was very nasty about it. screamed at me about being short staffed, etc. I called later to make sure they knew I would be out and she hung up on me

    Later that night I received phone calls from both my x-boyfriend and father who were furious with me for being out of work. THe person who does the scheduling called looking for me ....they are emergency #'s and my # was busy...and she told them the whole nine yards...about the dr's note..how long I would be out...and how they are dependant on me and I did not seem sick to the supervisor

    I had to take my phone off the hook my father called so often..screaming at me that I was a "screw up" and I would "never make a nurse"

    Did they have a right to tell this info to these people? I called the nurse back to tell her how her giving all this info to them generated a series of upsetting phone calls and she said 'that is not my problem..if it is so bad call the police" and hung up on me
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  2. 19 Comments

  3. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    1) Get another job.
    2) Get some help (group therapy--if there's a drunk in your family, get to Al-Anon--it WILL make a difference)
    3) Talk with an attorney about what info was released to your family.

    There is a strong chance that there will be "no expectation of privacy" because you provided these numbers for your employer to contact you. That argument is even stronger if these people were listed as who to contact in case of an emergency.

    Seriously, you need not to allow others to treat you this way. Been there, done that, with the loose poops and all.

    It can get better--you just gotta get the hell out and do something different, somewhere else.

    Al-Anon, or group therapy, can help you set limits with others--and give you the support you won't get from your family. It oughta come from them, but obviously they can't give it to you.

    (((((it will get better as soon as you decide enough is enough!)))))
  4. by   canoehead
    Absolutely no way I would put up with that from the sup, or the family. Report the supervisor to the hospital and to the board of nursing , and tell your family to get the #$@$ off your butt.
  5. by   SmilingBluEyes
    echoing the above. I wish you well!
  6. by   Krissy NY
    Thank you. I am talking to another facility and it looks good as far as a new position.

    I just can't get over sharing my info so easily with whomever answered the phone. I specifically gave my new number and address to the nursing director upon moving into my new apartment and told her that is my contact number. She probably lost it.

    What is my next step?? writing a letter of resignation? Do I state exactly why I am leaving or just be brief?
  7. by   nursedawn67
    Even though it sounds like they don't deserve it....I would give them a letter of resignation and in two weeks enjoy being out of that h*** hole. But no sense in sinking to their level and no reason to burn bridges so do it the professional way and give the resignation letter.

    Good luck!!
  8. by   canoehead
    Having had a few minutes to think about it, my calmer response would be to call a lawyer. I am absolutely outraged that you were treated like that. As for family- get caller ID, like yesterday. And hang in there- some people's opinions are not worth the hot air they are spouted with. You've gotten yourself a good education and need some respectable coworkers and friends to go with it. You'll get there.
  9. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    No matter how awful they are, and they are awful!, don't ever burn a bridge you don't have to. Time (and God, if that's where your thinking might be) will take care of them, in the way they need to be taken care of. You might get their attention temporarily, but you will still be hurt and angry, and they will have had an unpleasant experience associated with their memory of you.

    In a year or so, you may wind up working with or for someone from that same facility (they probably have high turnover). You don't want to be remembered as someone who ripped them a new one, as it were.

    Another point: even though it is wrong, people do give out info "off the record" when a potential employer calls, or two people might be friends and info gets shared that way. You don't want to stack the potential deck against yourself.

    You already sound better. Good for you!
  10. by   Krissy NY
    Thanks canoe!

    I stayed at my fathers home after leaving my x as I attended CNA school...so he feels I owe him. He was screaming "if it weren't for me you would be nothing" and I said "because of you I should be...but I have plans..etc etc and I am going to get my RN and I want to live in Manhattan"

    and his reply was "oh yeah..you are so talented and so beautiful (sarcastic)..ofcourse YOU should live in Manhattan...they'll eat you alive..I don't give you one week...and so when do you plan on getting this RN???? I'm not paying for it I think you should go on welfare and live with all your ni**er friends..it is who you belong with...you aint worth sh**..(x) don't wan't ya..no one wants ya" dial tone

    All the verbal abuse I have experienced in my life...been told I was sh*t since I was born..I have not had my legs ripped out from under me YET

    The truth is I am a good good person who is smart and loving and just cares way too much about everyone who crosses my path

    and for some strange reason I feel I can earn my RN and I feel Manhattan is my calling I have dreamed about being a true "New Yorker" for a very long time

    it sickens me that my own father wants to beat me down, cower me to stay at this job...it infuriates me that he probably does see beauty and talent in me and will stop at nothing to convince me otherwise

    You can't turn a sows ear into a silk purse...but some will try to convince a silk purse that they are a sows ear

    go figure :angryfire
  11. by   smk1
    i just have to say that you may need to cut off your ties to your dad. I know it is hard but this sounds like a toxic relationship and you don't need that kind of stress! just do what you have to for your own life to work.
  12. by   maura66
    Did they have a right to tell this info to these people? I called the nurse back to tell her how her giving all this info to them generated a series of upsetting phone calls and she said 'that is not my problem..if it is so bad call the police" and hung up on me
    None of this should be happening to you.
    #1. Report BOTH the supervisor and scheduler to the DON. Report the Supervisor to the board of nursing for breaching confidentiality. If the scheduler is a nurse, report her too.
    2. Ask your doctor to recommend a councilor that you can speak with. You need to learn how to deal with these people who are treating you horribly. Stress management sessions are good, but not an instant fix. They take time and work.
    3. A new job is a great idea, but make sure you are healthy first. You don't want to start a new job until you have your stress and life under better control because it could just make matters worse (added stress of a new job).
    4. Do give adequate notice, nomatter what. It's important to keep your record sparkling.
    5. Document everything you can. If you report these people, you will need to provide some sort of evidence. Gather whatever you can before you make your presentation to the DON or the board. If you have evidence when you make your report, it makes your case much more credible and hard to dismiss it as a "she said-she said"
  13. by   Krissy NY
    Thanks so much

    I will finish up as expected at this job...while crossing my fingers for a new one and scouring the internet for openings at hospitals, etc.

    Would you believe the same girl who caused so much trouble for me called me at home again. I could tell she was trying to get info or bait me. What a bunch of sleazes! It takes an awful miserable person to be so devious and underhanded...it is like second nature to most of them...which is pretty scary

    the best revenge is to leave, be happy, go back to school and fulfill my personal and professional goals

    I know the CNA job is tough...but with the right people it could be fun...have some laughs, enjoy the residents, make the residents lives fun (it is possible)
    I have residents I could just wink at and they would smile all over...I even used to "goose" one of the ladies I called grammy and she would roar laughing. I kissed them goodnight at bedtime and most of them told me they loved me. These other CNA's could spit nails and my manner with the residents annoyed them. One of them snapped "You really don't have time for chit chat with them!" as she marched out for her smoke. SHe would be so aggressive and annoyed and pushy with them...I hated it!

    One of the residents son's used to come in, a nice looking nice guy. Finally he asked me out....and dummy me tells this same CNA in a giddy high school way...a little while later she snapped "don't be flattered he constantly gawks at me but I'm not interested" Everyone found out...and teased me about it. The next day the same CNA had my potential dates father on her run and ofcourse his son came in for his visit....I went in to say hi and she told me to step out of the room as she was very busy and shut the door. I don't know what she did but the son never called me...and now I avoid him out of embarrasment

    Recently she said "oh..he never called??" with a smirk. I know this is childish girl stuff but I think it demonstrates the type of destructive people they are
  14. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    Hard to have pity for people who behave that way, but that's probably all they really deserve.

    I've come across a couple of those, in various work settings. Best to act like everything's hunky-dory and watch your own back.

    They will, one way or another, get theirs.

    Best,
    Chris

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