My boyfriend's ex is a drug seeker/substance abuser/narcotic pill popper

[Queenofhearts_]

My boyfriend has admitted to me a few days ago that his ex girlfriend (whom he has a 3yr old child with) called him the other day asking him for a bottle of vicodin. She stated she has absolutely no pain and just wants to get high from it. He admitted to me that she is a substance abuser/narcotic pill popper. I understand she used to do meth and heroin in the past which I understand may have no relevance if she is no longer doing it, however that is unknown. The fact is she is a nurse and is abusing narcotics. I told him she needs to be reported to the California nursing board. He is afraid that if he does that, she will threaten to take him to court and use every means to take his child away from him. I don't want him to lose his child while at the same time, I am concerned about his ex being an active nurse while abusing narcotics. Does anyone have any recommendations on what I should do?

[uRNmyway, ASN, RN]

Well according to TOS, we can't give legal advice. However, I would definitely be concerned.

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

What about the 3 yr old living with her or is the child living with the father? You do not have any direct evidence that she it taking or abusing narcotics..all you know is that she asked her x boyfriend and father of her child for some. I would probably let him him deal with it and hopefully his first priority should be making certain his child is in a safe environment or he fails as a father.

[itsmejuli]

My first thought is why is she asking him for a bottle of vicodin?

If I was in your shoes I'd be seeking the drama free zone.

[serenidad2004]

Ohhhh baby momma drama I feel for you as i have dealt with it for 10yrs... and I would have the same concerns for her being a nurse and also for the child.... wish I could tell you it gets better/easier but thats not always the case at least in my situation. Good luck chica

[eatmysoxRN, ASN, RN]

I wouldn't get involved in this issue. Also, per TOS, we cannot give legal advice. Call an attorney if you feel you need to.

[SinikRN101]

Without giving any legal advise, my friendly advise would be to start doing some research. First before you attempt to report her, look up heresay and slander. You should have solid evidence of something like that first. Second, research father's rights in Ca. Your bf could easily go for 50/50 custody and never have to worry about his child being taken away on a whim. All you can do is tell your bf his options. But be prepared with rights come responsiblities whichs means physically and financially.

[Hygiene Queen]

I think your boyfriend needs to talk to a lawyer first.

He needs to find out what his rights are as a father.

He needs to find out what he can or cannot do by law.

If he wants some sort of evidence, to know for sure what the ex is up to, he can hire a private investigator.

This costs money, but with profesionals on board, you protect yourselves.

[ms-feelgood]

I'm just curious, but wouldn't it be more likely that if she is indeed abusing drugs etc, he'd get custody of the child? I don't know, I can't exactly say I'm familiar with these things... Can't give you any advice really, legal or not. Sorry.

[veggie530]

Baby mama drama. Abort immediately, and this is coming from a guy.

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

If you have not personally seen/witnessed the drug use, you are assuming based on his word. And he is not an unbiased reporter.If HE believes that she poses a danger to others or is abusing drugs, HE NEEDS TO REPORT IT. Not you. You need to be left out of the baby mama/daddy business of his life. You are not married to him, and it is his issue to handle.

The fact the he told you about her supposed asking him for drugs also seriously bothers me. How would he be able to get them for her - either through you or his own connections? That makes one think that he is "fishing" or that he has a way to get illicit drugs or has gotten them for her or himself before.

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

Eh, might be homework for ethics class.