My 9 year old patient was raped and required surgery

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I currently have a 9 year old girl I am taking care of on unit. She was raped resulting in surgical repair to entire pelvic floor and also needed a colostomy. As I change her sheets and such I just don't know what to do. I cry everytime I walk in there. I just want to hold her. She isn't allowed visitors and she is so scared. My heart is breaking. Any advice?

i currently have a 9 year old girl i am taking care of on unit. she was raped resulting in surgical repair to entire pelvic floor and also needed a colostomy. as i change her sheets and such i just don't know what to do. i cry everytime i walk in there. i just want to hold her. she isn't allowed visitors and she is so scared. my heart is breaking. any advice?

omg......how horrible. what kind of monster does that ? i am so sorry.......i could never do ped's bc of things like this. hats off to the ones that can. she is lucky to have you as her nurse.

Specializes in med/surg.

Thank you. It's not been easier but we're getting there. She's sound asleep in her little bed now. She's such a sweet little girl. It already feels like she has been with u her whole life. She fits in with our family unit perfectly. She has a long hard road ahead of her but she has a spirit about her I've never seen before. She will be wonderful when she grows up. I'm just doing the best I can to raise her in a safe and educational enviroment so she can flourish and continue to grow into herself. She's just awesome. My inspiration for sure.

Specializes in Aged care.

You are an angel. I don't know how I would cope with your situation, but I am glad the little girl has someone like you caring for her. I like the idea of a diary to either write or draw in, but the main thing is just to be there for her, as you have been. She is going to need someone she totally trusts and feels comfortable with if and when she wants to talk.

Love to you both

Janis

Specializes in med/surg.
You are an angel. I don't know how I would cope with your situation, but I am glad the little girl has someone like you caring for her. I like the idea of a diary to either write or draw in, but the main thing is just to be there for her, as you have been. She is going to need someone she totally trusts and feels comfortable with if and when she wants to talk.

Love to you both

Janis

I got her a journal but she doesn't really write much in it other than little sweet I love you notes to me and my kids, but she draws alot too. She has gotten comfortable enough to tell me about anything at this point, most of which is very difficult to hear. I think she knows that I understand the pain she has gone through even though I haven't given her many details of my past growing up in foster care. She has even talked back a time or two. WHo would've ever thought you'd have a parent being happy that a child is back talking? lol. I am just glad she feels safe enough to do so. WHen I was young and in foster homes I wouldn't have anything to do with most of them just isolated myself as much as possible. So I must be doing something right. I do not always knows the right thing to do or so I just try to follow with my heart and to be patient. Thanks again for the compliment, I don't feel like an angel I just trying to give back what I can, It is helping me heal as much as it is helping her out.
I got her a journal but she doesn't really write much in it other than little sweet I love you notes to me and my kids, but she draws alot too. She has gotten comfortable enough to tell me about anything at this point, most of which is very difficult to hear. I think she knows that I understand the pain she has gone through even though I haven't given her many details of my past growing up in foster care. She has even talked back a time or two. WHo would've ever thought you'd have a parent being happy that a child is back talking? lol. I am just glad she feels safe enough to do so. WHen I was young and in foster homes I wouldn't have anything to do with most of them just isolated myself as much as possible. So I must be doing something right. I do not always knows the right thing to do or so I just try to follow with my heart and to be patient. Thanks again for the compliment, I don't feel like an angel I just trying to give back what I can, It is helping me heal as much as it is helping her out.

I know exactly what you mean about her feeling save enough to "talk back", lol

i imagine it will "boil over" at some point.....hopefully you and she will have a very solid foundation by then....good luck

Specializes in medical surgical ward and operating room.

as i've red this thread i was touched....this kind of situation is hard for a nurse to deal especially if you are a kind-hearted person and sensitive....i feel bad for the child....i hope the person who raped her will feel guilty....its really an assault to the family of the child..maybe comforting and feeling her more secure would make her more at ease...i hope she will be alllowed to be visited by her family coz it will really help but of course try to make this kind of action in a step by step process... this will be a long term goal..... it needs patients so that the wound will heal..in time....

She is so lucky to have you as an nurse. Advocate for her and make her your cause right now. You obviouslly need to do this from your own standpoint of healing; professionally and emotionally. You are the care giver....advocate advocate, advocate and love, love ,love, love, love. She is lucky to have you. Be strong for her! She needs you! In an incredible way! You are an awesome nurse. Be there for her. It's your job! (and Im sure, your compassion!!!!!) Good luck. Do one for the team! We are behind you!

The wold is an ugly place. We can ony ty to repair it,,,,but your pretty firm dealing with pedophiles(So am I!!!!!!). They are usually victims of abuse lashing out. What is done, is done You cant take it back or fx it. But you can suusallt branner of steel a loving support workker that supports her emoyionally, thru friendhip, socilalwork,,,what ever she need, Hold her man poa, advocate, because in sure there isnot many others 9famly not neccesarily rxcluded) She needs a resorce team to look out for her and her issue.s wto man o it fiesnt happens again I suppot you anytin!

Specializes in med/surg.
She is so lucky to have you as an nurse. Advocate for her and make her your cause right now. You obviouslly need to do this from your own standpoint of healing; professionally and emotionally. You are the care giver....advocate advocate, advocate and love, love ,love, love, love. She is lucky to have you. Be strong for her! She needs you! In an incredible way! You are an awesome nurse. Be there for her. It's your job! (and Im sure, your compassion!!!!!) Good luck. Do one for the team! We are behind you!

Thank you for the support and kind words. We are both doing great.

Specializes in ER, ARNP, MSN, FNP-BC.

Just read through this entire post..... wiping my face, neck, and chest up from all the water I've been spewing out of my eyes (you know the visual) lol. I was soooo happy to hear she is talking back!!! That means something special... yes she is comfortable now. Just a smallllllllll word of advice from someone who has no business giving any advice lol, make sure you treat her normally too. If she does something wrong, correct her. Children LOVE boundaries and being held accountable. It shows you care. A very well-respected PNP colleague of mine was telling me the other day, when kids have been through something horrible, they need structure and boundaries just as much as those who haven't, even more so. Just thought I'd pass that on to you. I LOVE what you have done! God bless you, her, your family, and your coworkers who finally came around!! Nothing happens by coincidence, God's hand is all over this situation :)

Specializes in med/surg.

:yeah:Okay everyone, drumroll please...........My little girl's "father" has plead GUILTY, now all we are waiting for is sentencing. We are so relieved it feels like a ton has been lifted off of me. She is doing wonderful, she got into my makeup yesterday and "painted" herself and the bathroom. I walked in and caught her with mascara in her hand I just busted out laughing, good parenting huh? lol. So far she hasn't really done much to need my getting on to her the mouthing back hasn't been bad but if it does get out of hand I will start gentle disciplining, I try to treat her the same way I do my other kiddos, but again I'm not much on strict parenting with them either and so far they are very well behaved, well mannered and compassionate kids. Hopefully I am not messing up too much.lol. Thanks again for all of the support, this has been an amazing and heartwrenching journey at the same time. Thanks for sharing in it with me.

Specializes in Orthopedics.

YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope he gets the worst sentencng ever!

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