Nanjam, you sound so much like a woman I work with who has been on the same unit for 26 years and is still going showing no signs of slowing down. I have been working with her for a year now, and frankly I am sick of the job, and feeling very frustrated. I was just recently involved, unwittingly I have to say, in a hospital power play stunt which has left me feeling disgusted! I am tired of running all night long like a chicken with my head cut off, and coming home to my kids, and then having to go to bed while they are awake, and getting up to do it all over again. Feeling so frustrated, I asked this enduring lady, who has no kids but maintains a very productive life outside of the hospital, why she stays here, how she can take this, and her answer is that she is too stubborn to leave, and that she likes the fast pace. She holds several degrees, and could work anywhere!
While I admire her for her determination, I want out of bedside nursing all together. I keep thinking that I want a job where I use my head more than my feet. It's not that I think I know it all and that I am bored by working the floor. It's more that I think I have a different calling than to run by butt off for a living. I enjoy many of my patients, and am still able to get that satisfied feeling sometimes when I know I have helped them, or when they take a minute to come to find me at the end of my shift to say thank you for doing a good job. At those moments I feel ten feet tall. While I know I will miss that feeling, I think about all of the rest of the crap that goes on, and know that no matter where I go, I am capable of making a difference. I want to start making that kind of a difference for myself and my own family though, and I don't feel selfish for that!
I think that many of the newer nurses felt that going to nursing school
and getting an education meant an end to those days of being a waitress, or working a manual labor job. But we get hit in the face with the fact that working in a hospital as a nurse is a lot like the occupations that we tried to escape by getting an education. I don't think that nursing school realistically prepared us for that idea. We get out of there feeling proud, and thinking we've come so far, only to find ourselves locked back into the same type of a job.