Your Favorite one liner used with patients - Page 24Register Today!
- Oct 9, '09 by Spritenurse1210Quote from JR816And last week I had a mom give birth for the first time. We got along right away. She simply held her breath for a second and smiled. Out popped baby.
I told her that some men show more facial expression while going to the bathroom.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm going to be smelling Pepsi for the next few hours!
- Oct 9, '09 by Spritenurse1210Quote from BanoraWhiteI had a patient like that when I was working on Christmas Eve. She told me to 'go to hell' and I responded with "I'll see you there. Merry Christmas ! " :wink2:
I've had a resident tell me that once. I looked at her and said "I'm here aren't I? I thought the elevator dropped me off in the seventh circle. Shoot. I'll just go give Satan a piece of my mind!" After we both laughed I never had another problem with her again
- Oct 21, '09 by callmekiplingI like to play the straight man.
"Good to meet you, sorry it's here" is my favorite opener.
As a tech - "They don't let me play with anything fun, but if you need a soda or something I'm well qualified to get it."
LOL's come in with bruising/ raccoon eyes - "You're the tough old bird came in from that barfight huh?"
If they say "at least I'm alive," (and I stole this from a little old lady).. "they say the devil takes care of his own"
Worse yet, if they're clever too, it's usually worth a smile to admit that I've spent the day's allotment of one-liners!
- Oct 30, '09 by MissUnknownIf the patient complains about the food I tell them it's part of our free, never failing weight loss system. Usually gets a chuckle.
And when greeting patients, "I'd ask how you are today, but you're in my ER so I guess that's saying something."
- Oct 30, '09 by dscrnfrom my husband, during his emergency bedside echo...is it a boy or a girl?
- Oct 31, '09 by ellakateOn cardiac step down unit when drawing arterial blood gases:
This is going to hurt like hell. I am really sorry, but if you hold still, it will be over sooner.
- Nov 8, '09 by Zookeeper3"I'm not going to beg you to take your meds and stay in bed resting your heart, you are welcome to go home AMA... should I get the paper?"
- Nov 8, '09 by al7139After inserting an IV in an anxious patient: Alright! I got it! Not bad for my first time!
- Nov 8, '09 by teeniebertOn discharge: "I'll miss you, but I hope I never see you again."
- Nov 8, '09 by ellakateIn Home Health:
You don't have to go to the hospital, but when you pass out, I get to call the shots. I can wait.