You might be a redneck if.....

  1. 1. Your wife/sister complains about that framed portrait of Hulk Hogan over the fireplace.

    2. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

    3. You think the stock market has a fence around it.

    4. You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

    5. You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

    7. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

    8. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

    10. You've ever used lard in bed.

    11. Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

    12. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    13. You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

    14. Your home has more miles on it than your car.

    15. Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

    16. You've ever been arrested for loitering.

    17. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

    18. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

    19. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

    20. You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   kids
    LOL...

    My husbands newest addition since a trip down the Christmas aisle at Walmart...

    If your Christmas Tree has a NASCAR theme...


    (personally I was looking for a Dale Sr orniment)
  4. by   Dplear
    you also forgot ...

    if you ever had to climb the town water tower with a can of paint to defend your mother/sister/wifes honor.
  5. by   deespoohbear
    1. Your 2 year old has more teeth than you do.

    2. You have of set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip
    on the side.

    3. People have mistakenly stopped at your house thinking you
    are having a yard sale.

    4. Your mama has said "You all come look at this before I flush
    it down the toilet."
  6. by   RNforLongTime
    1. Your father walks you to school because you are in the same grade.

    2. you go to your family reunion looking for a date

    3. you see a sign that says "Say No to Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up
  7. by   CelticNurse
    1. You spend ages staring at a can of OJ 'cos it says 'concentrate' on the side.
  8. by   ReluctantMonk
    1. You take a six pack of beer to a funeral.
  9. by   CelticNurse
    You might be a redneck if............

    ......you think the last four words to the 'Star Spangled Banner' are 'Gentlemen, start your engines...'
  10. by   CelticNurse
    1) If someone asked to see your ID and you show 'em your belt buckle...

    2) If you cut your grass and you find a car...

    3) If you go to a family reunion to meet women...

    4) If you see a sign that says 'Say no to Crack' and it reminds you to pull up your jeans...

    5) If you have ever financed a tattoo.....

    .......you might be a redneck........!
  11. by   cmggriff
    If you have ever been too drunk to fish. (Thank you Jeff Foxworthy). Gary
  12. by   jstinerich
    If you daughter learns to count and tell colors with shot-gun shells.
  13. by   daisymey
    you might be a redneck if....
    someone yells ho-down and your girlfriend drops to the floor...
  14. by   daisymey
    [/b][/quote]you might be a redneck if... someone yells ho-down and your girlfriend drops to the floor :chuckle

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