you live where?!?!!?

  1. you live in california when...

    1. you make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
    2. the high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
    3. the fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
    4. you know how to eat an artichoke.
    5. you drive your rented mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
    6. when someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    you live in new york city when...

    1. you say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean manhattan.
    2. you have never been to the statue of liberty or the empire state building.
    3. you can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from columbus circle to battery park, but can't find wisconsin on a map.
    4. you think central park is "nature,"
    5. you believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
    6. you've worn out a car horn.
    7. you think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    you live in upstate new york when...

    1. you only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and tabasco.
    2. halloween costumes fit over parkas.
    3. you have more than one recipe for moose.
    4. sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
    5. the four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

    you live in the deep south when...

    1. you can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
    2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
    3. after five years you still hear, "you ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
    4. "he needed killin' " is a valid defense.
    5. everyone has 2 first names: billy bob, jimmy bob, mary sue, betty jean, etc.

    you live in colorado when...

    1. you carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
    2. you tell your husband to pick up granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
    3.a pass does not involve a football or dating.
    4. the top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    you live in the midwest when...

    1. you've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
    2. your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
    3. you have had to switch from "heat" to "a/c" on the same day.
    4. you end sentences with a preposition: "where's my coat at?"
    5. when asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "it was different!"

    you live in florida when...

    1. you eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
    2. all purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
    3. everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
    4. road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
    5. cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

    Last edit by sunnygirl272 on Jun 27, '02
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  2. 14 Comments

  3. by   Sleepyeyes
    Hehe...
    one small correction: As a former upstate NY'er, it's not moose, it's DEER. And yes, they do close the schools on Opening Day of hunting season...
  4. by   sunnygirl272
    i am a central/upstate ny-er....u r right. mainly deer..but occ a moose wanders through and takes romantic interest incows..lol
  5. by   eltrip
    :chuckle :roll

    Glad to know that, by these standards, I don't live in the deep South. Just living in the South, even as a Southerner, can be a unique experience!

    #1 for the deep South though, needs modifying...it should read as follows (IMNSHO):

    1. You can rent a movie, buy a pizza (or any other kind of meal), and buy bait in the same store.

    By the way, it doesn't even have to be the deep South for this to be true!
  6. by   moni rn
    can i make one addition, please?
    1. you can rent a movie, buy a pizza (or any other kind of meal), tan , and buy bait in the same store.

  7. by   Harleyhead
    As most people seem to forget when it is 90 degrees in NYC and 90 degrees in FLA it is still hot.
  8. by   SHELLYBELLYRN
    You're from Maine if......

    1. you have 5 seasons---summer, fall, winter, MUD, and spring.

    2. When someone asks you for directions, you say "you can't get there from here".

    3. Using an RV for camping IS NOT actually CAMPING!

    4. Your boat is worth more than your car.

    5. You MUST own a truck.......for hauling your own garbage to the town dump.....and, of course, for hauling the BOAT.

    6. When asked how your wonderfully cooked meal was, you respond "WICKED GOOD"!!
  9. by   Sleepyeyes
    Another one, gleaned from hard experience:

    "You know you're an upstate NY'er if, on opening day of hunting season, the schools are closed, and for the benefit of the City-folk, all large farm animals are LABELLED 'COW' or 'HORSE' " (so the hunters don't mistake them for deer)
    Last edit by Sleepyeyes on Jun 27, '02
  10. by   babynursewannab
    Being from Minnesota I can say that in the midwest there are only 2 seasons:

    Winter and Construction (a 2 week period in late July)! :chuckle:
  11. by   micro
    i am still upset about that dang tractor in the middle of the city holding up traffic
  12. by   Teshiee
    ahahahah

    You hit the head on the nail about california. People think we make too much money well that is not true. When a shack house cost $200,000 there is a problem. :chuckle :kiss
  13. by   zudy
    In Arkansas, we have 4 seasons: early summer, summer, late summer, and Christmas!!! We also close school the first day of deer season, because no one would show up! (including the staff!)
  14. by   live4today
    Originally posted by zudy
    In Arkansas, we have 4 seasons: early summer, summer, late summer, and Christmas!!! We also close school the first day of deer season, because no one would show up! (including the staff!)
    Reminds me of Texas....who has four distinct seasons as well....TEPID SUMMER...HOT SUMMER...SCORCHING HOT SUMMER....HOTAS HELL SUMMER! :chuckle

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