You know you've been a nurse too long when:

*** Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal.
*** Your idea of a good time is a code at change of shift.
*** You believe in aerosol spraying of Prozac.
*** You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis.
*** You believe that chocolate is a food group.
*** You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.
*** You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if someone should say "Boy, it sure is quiet around here!"
*** You admire a stranger's veins.
*** You have referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit."
*** You don't think a consult with Dr. Kavorkian is inappropriate.
*** You have had to leave a patient's room before breaking into uncontrollable laughter.
*** When ordering labs, you have wanted to order a "feces on the brain" profile.
*** You are astounded when somebody in the lab speaks English.
*** You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA.
*** You can calculate the "tooth to tattoo ratio" without a calculator.
*** You have ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
*** You have used your status to get out of a speeding ticket.
*** You've called in sick on a full moon.
*** You've got voodoo dolls labeled with doctor's names..and lots of needles stuck therein.
*** You believe that every waiting room should come with a valium salt lick
*** You have restrained someone, and it was not a sexual experience.
*** You barely consider the raise your employer offers you, before moving on to another job.
*** You aren't sure who your boss is.
*** You know how to say bedpan in five languages.
*** You keep oxygen equipment in your locker, just in case there's a code on the same day as cost containment is implemented by your employer.
*** You recognize that unionization is professional.