You Know You're a Nurse When...

Some of our parenteral nutrition lipids come in glass bottles still, with the stoppers and the aluminum disc. So does IV etoh.

This thread just made my day. I want to share some.
-You can tell the diagnosis GI bleed just by the smell.
-You treat Nursing Drug Guide like a holy book.
-You know C= RN
-You have the most washed hands and dry hands

You're talking to your mechanic about a procedure that he's recently had done, and give him education that his new narcotic analgesic will likely make him constipated.......

You know you're a nurse when have stupid contests at work. Fastest guy to put a venlon in one of your own veins. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXsypc2KvIc
Don't try this at home!!!

my son was about 8. he had issues with his ears. tubes had been inserted since he was 5. he promptly informed the ent specialist that is contraindicated for a child over the age of 8 to have his tympanic membrane ruptured by a foriegn object. also when on to inform him the perment damage he could be causing him. needless to say..... the ent specialist removed the ear tubes. looked at me and said he is not doogy howser... take your books away till he is a little older.

son had pulled a tooth..... he first went to grandma....i was in the sacred dont touch me i just walked in the door from work mode. he informed her he was hemmoraging..... mom yelled at me.... i had to inform my son that 3 drops of blood is not considered hemmoraging

Has anyone ever stuck thier hands under the faucet at home (after 13hrs + 1hr drive each way) and think "What the h*** is wrong with this thing?!!" when no water appears

my hospital has sinks with automatic faucets

...you review the (graphically illustrated) chapter on 'Caring for clients with burns' while eating lunch at school...and it occurs to you that most of your family and non-nursing friends would probably vomit at first sight of the photos, but you keep eating and say to yourself, 'oh, interesting, I can see the remains of a tendon in this one!'

Your new (less than one day) husband c/o a hemerrhoid and gets suppositories prescribed twice a day. You don't even think about having him do it himself you just take over the job so you know it's done right and you can assess the hemorrhoid twice a day.

If you've ever called home and said, "unlock the back door, make sure there's nothing in the washing machine, and leave me a bathrobe and the big bottle of Germ-X on the drier."

The difference between graduate nurses & experienced nurses.
I saw this on a site recently, and almost pee'd myself laughing. No, I'm not trying to get at new nurses, after all, I WAS one not so long ago.

Grad Nurse: Vomits when the patient vomits
Exp. Nurse: Makes sure a bowl is handy & shoves it at the patient

Grad Nurse: Belives that people respect nurses
Exp. Nurse: Knows that everyone blames everything on the nurse

Grad Nurse: Checks all dressings for blood, hoping she will get to change it
Exp. Nurse: Knows that a little blood never hurt anybody.

Grad Nurse: Wants everybody to know she's a nurse
Exp. Nurse: Doesn't want anyone to know she's a nurse

Grad Nurse: Is eager to work with the family and include them in care decisions
Exp. Nurse: Does her best to avoid the family

Grad Nurse: Expects medications and supplies to be delivered on time
Exp. Nurse: Knows that meds & supplies are rarely delivered on time

Grad Nurse: Wears nametags, and pins displaying her place of education.
Exp. Nurse: Wears no identifying markers for fear of litigation

Grad Nurse: Does not find this post amusing
Exp. Nurse: Finds this post hilarious.

There are more, but I can't remember them all right now.
God bless