You know your a nurse!!!

  1. >>>>
    >>>> Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell??
    >>>>
    >>>> It took her two weeks to realise she wasn't at work!
    >>>>
    >>>> You may be a nurse if.....
    >>>> You believe that every patient needs TLC...
    >>>> Temazepam, Lorazepam and Chlorpromazine.
    >>>>
    >>>> You would like to meet the inventor of the nurse buzzer system
    some
    >>>>night in a dark alley.
    >>>>
    >>>> You believe not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious.
    >>>>
    >>>> Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.
    >>>>
    >>>> Your kids get their presents in TED stockings and hospital
    >>>>pillowcases.
    >>>>
    >>>> And their presents are wrapped with Micropore tape.
    >>>>
    >>>> You know the phone number of every late night food delivery place
    by
    >>>>heart.
    >>>>
    >>>> Almost everything can seem funny ... eventually.
    >>>>
    >>>> When asked by the doctor what color that patient's diarrhoea was,
    you
    >>>>show them your shoes. If
    >>>> they missed your shoes, you use the well-known"poo curry colour
    scale"
    >>>>ranging from chicken korma to spinach vindaloo.
    >>>>
    >>>> You can identify different causes of diarrhoea by the smell of
    it.
    >>>>
    >>>> Every time you walk you make a jingling noise because of all the
    keys,
    >>>>scissors and clamps in your pocket.
    >>>>
    >>>> You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are
    >>>>dispensing than they know.
    >>>>
    >>>> You use cathether bags to drip water onto your plants when you're
    on
    >>>>holiday.
    >>>>
    >>>> You refuse to watch Casualty because its too much like the real
    thing
    >>>>and it triggers flashbacks or...
    >>>>
    >>>> Your family refuse to let you watch Casualty because you spend
    the
    >>>>whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down X-rays.
    >>>>
    >>>> You avoid answering the phone on your day off in case anyone from
    the
    >>>>hospital is trying to call and beg you to work.
    >>>>
    >>>> You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at
    >>>>another table throw up.
    >>>>
    >>>> You notice that you are using even more 4 letter words than you
    did
    >>>>before you started nursing.
    >>>>
    >>>> You've seriously considered catheterising your children before a
    long
    >>>>car journey.
    >>>>
    >>>> Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of
    them
    >>>>on you. Most of them have the names of laxatives on them.
    >>>>
    >>>> You don't get excited about blood; unless it's your own.
    >>>>
    >>>> You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to
    >>>>convince the doctor is more difficult"
    >>>>
    >>>> You've basted your Christmas turkey with a 50ml syringe.
    >>>>
    >>>> You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your
    >>>>co-worker and to shout if they need help.
    >>>>
    >>>> Eating crisps out of a clean sick-bowl is perfectly normal.
    >>>>
    >>>> Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
    >>>>
    >>>> When checking the level of a patient's orientation you aren't
    sure of
    >>>>the day yourself. Or if nightshift, the month.
    >>>>
    >>>> You find yourself checking ou other customers' veins in
    supermarket
    >>>>queues.
    >>>>
    >>>> You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table on your
    dinner
    >>>>break and are not embarrassed when you wake up.
    >>>>
    >>>> You avoid unhealthy looking people in the shopping centre for
    fear
    >>>>that they will drop dead near you and you'll have to do CPR on your
    day
    >>>>off.
    >>>>
    >>>> You throw a farewell buffet for a co-worker and use a bed sheet
    for a
    >>>>tablecloth and bedpans to hold the nachos.
    >>>>
    >>>> You often stay awake for 24+ hrs at a time when you work nights
    and
    >>>>realise you don't need alcohol or drugs to hallucinate just lack of
    >>>>sleep...
    >>>>
    >>>>
    >>>> You pull over in a layby after working nights because you are too
    >>>>tired todrive home and wake up to someone knocking on your window
    >>>>thinking you've had a stroke because you're passed out in your car
    >>>>drooling.
    >>>>
    >>>> Your finger has gone into places you never thought possible.
    >>>>
    >>>> You've seen more penises than any prostitute.
    >>>>
    >>>> You've sworn to have "Do Not Resuscitate" tattooed on your chest.
    >>>>Soon.
    >>>>
    >>>> If you are not a nurse and have been sent this by a friend who
    is,
    >>>>it's just to help you understand our mindset and questionable
    mental
    >>>>state!
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