You know your life stinks when ...

  1. A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

    You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell anyone.

    The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

    Your taxi driver is on parole for car theft.

    You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment.

    Your children's school calls to surrender.

    The bride's family throws rocks instead of rice.

    Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map.

    Your plants do better when you 'don't' talk to them.

    All your modeling jobs are for cartoonists.

    Your engagement ring is, upon closer inspection, plastic.
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You know your life stinks when ...