You Know It's July in Texas When ...

~ The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

~ The trees are whistling for the dogs.

~ The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

~ Hot water now comes out of both taps.

~ You can make sun tea instantly.

~ You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

~ The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

~ You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

~ You discover you can get sunburned through your car window.

~ You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

~ You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

~ Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

~ You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

~ The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

~ Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

~ The cows are giving evaporated milk.