I was taking care of a patient who had developed a post anethesia reaction. She was in a geri-chair and when I checked on her she said to me "Beam me up Scotty - there's no one here". After I managed to leave the room I was howling
...later on the same evening an LPN and I were standing her to change her gown. She began to twirl the remote telemetry unit(she had nothing else on!). I said "Don't play with that" her reply "What do you want me to play with?" floored us.