Yep... you men are going to love this !!!

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules"

from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,

don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways

and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,

we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something

or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible,

please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"

we will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,

expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear

is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are

prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,

or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

:chuckle Very funny! Though, my man actually leaves the toilet seat down, so HA to that! He says it splashes less if you sit. :chuckle

Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

G'nite, Karen !

Are you really as beautiful as you look in your avi? Stunning !!! :)

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

G'nite, Karen !

Are you really as beautiful as you look in your avi? Stunning !!! :)

Specializes in Renal, Haemo and Peritoneal.

Thank You Jnette

Amen

Specializes in Renal, Haemo and Peritoneal.

Thank You Jnette

Amen

G'nite, Karen !

Are you really as beautiful as you look in your avi? Stunning !!! :)

scaredcat.jpg
G'nite, Karen !

Are you really as beautiful as you look in your avi? Stunning !!! :)

scaredcat.jpg
Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.
G'nite, Karen !

Are you really as beautiful as you look in your avi? Stunning !!! :)

I wish!!!

but I do have green eyes and red hair!

Karen

Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.
G'nite, Karen !

Are you really as beautiful as you look in your avi? Stunning !!! :)

I wish!!!

but I do have green eyes and red hair!

Karen

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