Wish it was a NANDA diagnosis

At our hospital, we have a canned list of NANDA diagnoses to choose from, which is woefully inadequate. Here's some I think they should add -- what about you guys?

Failure to get their crap together

Ineffective illicit drug usage (not stoned enough to die, not sober enough to figure out lying down in the middle of the main highway was a bad thing)

Infantile behavior, disorganized (no, I'm your nurse, not your mommie)

Deficient knowledge d/t being a complete egotistical jerk and not realizing it

Alcoholic fluid volume deficit (if we get him a drink, he won't go into the DT's and we can get him outta here)

Risk for peripheral digital injury (grab me again, I'll break your hand)

Risk for aspiraton d/t client induced self care deficit (to stoned to roll out of the puke puddle)