With apologies to the guys and acknowledging that you have it tough too . . . but some of the following made me laugh. steph
> Why women are cranky
> >We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old. Enter the
> >uncomfortable training bra contraption.
> >Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along
> >those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies,
> >have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed
> >cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
> >Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the
> >first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus
> >through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his
> >cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
> >Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and
> >water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over
> >Brother John.
> >Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live
> >with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards
> >and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby.
> >Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and
> >pee our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam
> >our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of
> >mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the
> >to the ER.
> >Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop
> >screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10)
> >push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard
> >hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed
> >lb. bowling ball through a keyhole.
> >After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all
> >"cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking,
> >jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
> >The teen years. Need I say more? The kids are almost grown now and we
> >hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30's to early 40's while hubby
> >had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the
> >reason all that early hot man sex got you pregnant in the first place).
> >Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the grandmother of all
> >womanhood. It's either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now
> >"buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in
> >wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything
> >Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off
> >so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the
> >without soaking their socks...
> >Now I love being a woman but "Womanhood" would make the Great Ghandi a
> >Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.