What will kids say next???

  1. > Subject: What will the little ones say next
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    > > When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an
    > > older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your
    > > grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us
    > > for Christmas." "How nice,"I said. "Where does she live?" "At the
    > > airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there
    >
    > > and get her."
    > > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    > >
    > > When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled
    >
    > > out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, then he spread the
    > > animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. "What are you
    > > doing?" his Mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal
    > > is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
    > > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    > >
    > > This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one
    > > morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of
    > > coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of
    > > those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are
    > > these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it
    > > says on TV 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"
    > > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    > >
    > > A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of
    > kittens.
    > > On returning home, he breathlessly informed his
    > > mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens." "How did
    > > you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked
    > > underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
    > > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    > >
    > > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
    > > shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon
    > > rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
    > > old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I
    > > found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I
    > > braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely
    > > turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
    > > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    > >
    > >
    > > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,our minister
    > > heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
    > > Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
    > > robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had
    > > secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made
    > ready
    > > for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to
    > say
    > > the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version
    >
    > > of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the
    > > Faaaather. And unto the soonnn.......and
    > > into the hole he gooooes."
    > > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    > >
    > > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
    > > wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
    > > write, and they won't let me talk!
    > >
    •  
  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   NS_RN
    >
    > WHAT A DIFFERENCE 30 YEARS MAKE
    >
    > 1972: Long hair
    > 2002: Longing for hair
    >
    > 1972: KEG
    > 2002: EKG
    >
    >
    > 1972: Acid rock
    > 2002: Acid reflux
    >
    > 1972: Moving to California because it's cool
    > 2002: Moving to California because it's warm
    >
    >
    > 1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
    > 2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
    >
    > 1972: Hoping for a BMW
    > 2002: Hoping for a BM
    >
    >
    > 1972: The Grateful Dead
    > 2002: Dr Kevorkian
    >
    > 1972: Going to a new, hip joint
    > 2002: Receiving a new hip joint
    >
    >
    > 1972: Rolling Stones
    > 2002: Kidney Stones
    >
    > 1972: Being called into the principal's office
    > 2002: Calling the principal's office
    >
    >
    > 1972: Disco
    > 2002: Costco
    >
    > 1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
    > 2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
    >
    >
    > 1972: Passing the drivers' test
    > 2002: Passing the vision test
    >
    > 1972: Whatever
    > 2002: Depends
    >
  4. by   itsme
    NS- That is so funny! I have to print it out!!! You have made my day!!
  5. by   tattooednursie
    *****!!!!
  6. by   Darlene K.
    I love it!!


  7. by   J-RN student
    :chuckle :roll :chuckle

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