What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you?

I used to work at a nursing home before and one resident turned on her call light, when I went in to anser it, she asked me to catch the mosquito in her room.... told her I will send the terminator in. :-( :-)

at the hospital, one patient asked me to cut and paint her toe nails. I dont even know how to paint may toes. tols her to ask her family to do it.

Had one guy in LTC who was a real PITA...
dropped his blanket one night and called 9-1-1 because "I was hypothermic."

Whatever CNA went into his room, he gallantly offered to marry her so he could get them both outta "this place." Oh, and of course, she could take care of him. And don't worry, he'd pay her well.

the most aggravating thing a patient ever asked me to do was after she had been d/c and called from home. Very busy weekend in a resort town.This woman badgered the doc to d/c her(double vision and all) because she was driving herself up the coast to a wedding the next day. Her d/c orders had to be transcribed twice because she didn't agree with them. This woman proceeds to call me 2 hours after she left and DEMAND that I call her in a 7 day script for all of her 5 new mwds because she gets them cheaper on line and it will take 7 days and oh by the way these scripts are only for 30 and I wast a 90 day supply etc. et.Then, she has the nerve to say "You can do this, your not busy are you?"I told her I would try to get to it but no promises as it was already 3 pm (oh yeah..Memorial Day weekend at the beach)and when I did get time the pharmacy was already closed,message left on recorder for refill the next day. I don't know what her outcome was.

I took care of a guy who was admitted for abdominal pain. The docs couldn't find anything wrong with him. WBC normal, nothing on CT or x-ray, etc. They did an appendectomy on him. The docs thought he was seeking attention, but covered their rear ends with the surgery. Ok, fine. The guy started talking to me right after he came up from PACU. He talked about his childhood & being sexually abused. Still okay, but I'm thinkin', why so much info so soon? New admit, so I'm in his room a lot for the first hour or so...he starts telling me that his mother used to do something for him to comfort him after an episode of abuse by his father. She used to rub her purse & the sound helped comfort him. I was feeling wierder by the minute...I've got my own issues after all. Anyhow, he asked me if I could rub the vinyl on the recliner so that he could hear that particular sound that his mother used to create when she rubbed her purse. That did it. I thought on how to discuss this with him for a moment or two & then went to speak with him. I told him that while I was, indeed, looking out for his needs, I had to look after myself as well & that his request made me feel very uncomfortable. I dragged the chair to the side of the bed & suggested that he rub the vinyl himself. He proclaimed that it wouldn't be the same, & I stated that this was the best available option. He didn't mention it again that night...he was gone when I returned to work the next night, hallelujah!

Probably 5 years ago, & the thought of it still creeps me out!

Eltrip, that has got to be one of the most bizarre things...

My sister is pregnant and going to deliver in Sept. she was asking about the preps before delivery ie shave, enema etc and I told her they don't do those things anymore. She figured it would be much more sanitary to be shaved but said she couldn't do it herself, and she didn't want her husband to ("ewww, I don't want him to do that!") So she sez to me "I'll just tell the nurse to do it when I get to the hospital" And WOW I thought, no nurse is going to be liking HER much! So I explained that it might not be the best choice. Funny how people just don't get that we aren't there at their beck and call. And thank God she mentioned it to me beforehand or I would have been sitting there as her nurse glared daggers.

And to all the OB nurses that might be taking care of her in Sept- please be nice, she doesn't realize what she's saying....

Canoehead , that is too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fluff my pillow, bend my straw, SHAVE MY CROTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, a new nurses' saying is born. (sigh)

Omg, where do ya draw the line?!?!

I once had a lady on a balloon pump ask me to shave her legs! I had explained to her that she had to keep her hip extended due to the femoral line. Then explained that she wan on Heparin, an anticoagulant and shaving could cause bleeding. We made sure the sheet covered her legs. This was a very well educated and alert woman.

Once admitted a man in his 90s to be intubated for hypoxia. He refused which made sence because he was in the final stages of lung cancer. After O2 and IPPB he received morphine. This polite old man asked, "I promise not to touch. Could you just lift your skirt so I can admire your chubby legs?"
I refused but wonder if I should have complied because when I came to work the next night he had died. That was 20 years ago and friends still tease me about it. He was hard of hearing so spoke very loud.