What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story? - page 66

:D Here is my most gross, yucky, disgusting nursing story! I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse. We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as... Read More

  1. by   APP
    Screw nursing... I'm going to make my fortune making and selling full body-condoms for nurses!
  2. by   elizabells
    This one falls under both gross and stupid - in the NICU I'm precepting in, we measure ostomy output by attaching an 8Fr feeding tube to a syringe and aspirating from the bag, because it's hard to position the babies right to just drain it out. So the other day, I'm feeling stupid, my eyes are a little fuzzy, and there's all this dang air in the syringe and I can't really do the math to subtract the air from the total volume to get the amount of stool. So what do I, genius that I am, do? Thaaaat's right, I hold the syringe upright and hit the plunger to get the air out. And the stool went a-flyin.



    Marla, I luurrrrrrve your sig quote.
  3. by   MMARN
    Quote from elizabells
    This one falls under both gross and stupid - in the NICU I'm precepting in, we measure ostomy output by attaching an 8Fr feeding tube to a syringe and aspirating from the bag, because it's hard to position the babies right to just drain it out. So the other day, I'm feeling stupid, my eyes are a little fuzzy, and there's all this dang air in the syringe and I can't really do the math to subtract the air from the total volume to get the amount of stool. So what do I, genius that I am, do? Thaaaat's right, I hold the syringe upright and hit the plunger to get the air out. And the stool went a-flyin.



    Marla, I luurrrrrrve your sig quote.
    I'm sorry, but that is fuuuunnyyyy!!
  4. by   PeachPie
    Quote from APP
    Screw nursing... I'm going to make my fortune making and selling full body-condoms for nurses!
    With air-tight face masks and windshield wipers on the goggles?
    Last edit by PeachPie on Apr 22, '06
  5. by   elizabells
    Quote from APP
    Screw nursing... I'm going to make my fortune making and selling full body-condoms for nurses!
    If you can find a way to make sure I don't get all hot and sweaty in them (like in contact gowns) I would wear one ALL THE TIME. I live in New York, dontcha know!
  6. by   knockandhello
    elderly gent,confused had stripped and was leaning facing the wall legs akimbo, standing in a pool of urine.Friend rushes up and bends down behind him mopping up the floor telling him not to move while she dries the floor.there she was head below his buttocks telling him not to move , in case he slipped, when he grunted and moved his bowels on top of her head.We didn't know whether to laugh or cry .
  7. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from knockandhello
    elderly gent,confused had stripped and was leaning facing the wall legs akimbo, standing in a pool of urine.Friend rushes up and bends down behind him mopping up the floor telling him not to move while she dries the floor.there she was head below his buttocks telling him not to move , in case he slipped, when he grunted and moved his bowels on top of her head.We didn't know whether to laugh or cry .
    oooooh, my belly hurts. Better hurry and get on the bedside commode!
  8. by   nursingBOSTON
    Quote from dayray
    i was a new cna in the nursing home and feeling very proud of my first step in my chosen career.

    a nice littel old man in a wheel chair waved at one of my co-workers (a pretty littel 18 year-old, fresh out of high school sugar and spice type of girl). he said "honey come over here please" as she bent down to talk to him. he moved the blanket covering his legs and splat! he ejaculated right in her face and mouth. i never saw her again and thus my nursing career beagn...........
    even though this guy was in a nursing home, isnt that indecent exposure or somthing? that is soo vulgar, ejaculating on someone, and getting it in her mouth, that has to be against the law or somthing?????!!!!!!!!!!!!! what kind of trouble did he get in for that???
  9. by   bloodytom
    when i was still a student i was asked to assist an I&D of breast abscess. it wasnt my first time but it really made me feel sick. my stomach was turning upside down, but nobody noticed since i was wearing mask and everyone's attention was on the procedure. suddenly i felt something warm and sour go up my throat then to my mouth and realized that some of the food i was munchin' on a while back is regurgitating back to my mouth. to save me from shame, i just swallowed it and nobody even knew i was feeling sick:chuckle
    Last edit by bloodytom on Jun 19, '06
  10. by   goats'r'us
    i don't know where i got this story, i can only vaguely remember all the details, so if it's your story and i get it wrong, sorry.

    i think the story goes that when i was in college a friend of my mother's had a baby, and mum had been telling me that her friend didn't cut the umbilical cord, just left the placenta in place till it dropped off of it's own accord, at which point the placenta would be placed in the freezer besidetheir other child's placenta, because they planned to plant two trees beside their driveway and wanted to plant the placentas under them, but they had to get the trees from someplace exotic.

    anyway, was telling someone this at college, and we were laughing and being slightly grossed out about the placenta staying put (i think out main issue was 'wouldn't it start to smell?) and one of our teachers overheard and chipped in her own gross story.

    Aparrently this teacher knew a friend of a friend of a friend who was a bit of a hippie. she delivered her baby at home in the company of hippie helpers, spiritual assistants etc. All went well, one healthy and beautiful child safely installed in the world.

    she invited everyone she knew to drop in and meet her new baby, and prepared plenty of natural foods for everyone - fresh bread, stew, vegies and fruit.

    all this sound nice?

    she sort of looked upon the bub as belonging to everyone, not just her, so to assist her visitors to feel that the baby was a part of them too, she chopped up the placenta and put it in the stew.

    her visitors ATE HER PLACENTA unawares!

    kind of makes me think of that guy who minced someone (his wife, i think) and fed her to his neighbours in pies, lasagne etc.
  11. by   Miss Calculation
    Quote from PeachPie
    I once worked with an absolutely annoying and hypocritical CNA who claimed that God sent her to do this work, and was a religious zealot to the point that she tried to convert a Jewish staff member under the logic that she'd go to hell if she didn't accept Jesus. Some geriatric residents have a habit of gripping onto anything, which can be quite dangerous when lifting. Most people gently break the grip, but she'd I had cleaned up his poopy Jackson-Pollack room painting up earlier (we've all grown accustomed to this), but since he had a cast, all I could do was give him a bed bath, which only visibly cleaned up the brown. He also has a habit of gripping onto anything. I tried to explain to her that the hand she was kissing had been covered in feces and had been down his diaper several times since I last cleaned him, but she get very defensive and started calling me bossy, know-it-all, rude, etc. I kept trying to tell her, but she got angry and I left rather than confront her pot-calling-the-kettle-black screaming rant. Yes, she used the hand-kissing technique on him. I tried to tell her a few more times, but she accused any advice from anyone, even the nurses, as insults to her intelligence. I guess that ignorance is bliss.


    Jackson Pollack....good one!
  12. by   momcat107
    I have tons of nasty ones,but the one that sticks out in my mind is I was working a double shift in a hospital,7am till 11pm. I was bone tired and doing my last rounds I found one of my elderly demented old men covered head to toe in feces.No problem,hauled him into the shower,stripped the bed,remade it,but I kept smelling poop and I noticed it seemed like he was chewing something. Got him to open his mouth and he had a mouth full of feces....It took everything I had not to toss my cookies.....
  13. by   goats'r'us
    Quote from momcat107
    I have tons of nasty ones,but the one that sticks out in my mind is I was working a double shift in a hospital,7am till 11pm. I was bone tired and doing my last rounds I found one of my elderly demented old men covered head to toe in feces.No problem,hauled him into the shower,stripped the bed,remade it,but I kept smelling poop and I noticed it seemed like he was chewing something. Got him to open his mouth and he had a mouth full of feces....It took everything I had not to toss my cookies.....
    i just don't understand! no matter how demented you are, it just can't taste good!!

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