What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story? - page 35

:D Here is my most gross, yucky, disgusting nursing story! I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse. We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as... Read More

  1. by   Nitengale326
    Quote from birder101
    oh my gosh. the peanut butter sandwich in the vag...a is great. What a hoot. I thing that is even funnier than the nursing home porn star. obviously, these two need to get together.
    I'm thinking the nursing homes and ER's are winning the prizes today. I worked n long term care for years. We had one lady who loved to eat and had a family that loved to feed her. She was total care and now topping 300 pounds. Our hoyers had only been approved for 275#. So for the time being "hattie" was stuck in bed. The Dr and the dietician had met with family and agreed to put her on a diet. The patient had agreed as well... for now. One Sunday night she needed to have her douche... felt some resistance when inserting the applicator... pulled out the tip of the applicator and noted lots of brown "crumbs" on the tip. Put on my miner's helmet... went in to investigate and pulled out a 4 piece fried chicken dinner with taters and a roll!!!! Hattie grinning, said, "Oh, that was gonna be my midnight snack".... We left the room and just lost it. Laughed the rest of the night.... still can't eat chicken 10 years later
  2. by   boulergirl
    Back in my nursing home days...Had a 45-year-old guy (apparently used to be a minister) who masturbated 24 hours a day. Got semen all over the under side of his bedsheet too. Imagine having to witness while being told you have to feed him breakfast!! Oh, and every 20 minutes he would holler so everyone in the building could hear him. Oh fun...I just tried to zone out while I fed him.

    Now I work in an ALF, and still get my exciting moments...like walking into a resident's room and seeing wads of smelly turd sitting on the head board, in the bed, in her teeth...Yummeeee.

    One of my co-workers said that back in HER nursing home days, she had to wait on this one resident to finish servicing herself with the bristles of her hairbrush. Then the lady shook the hairbrush on my friend and said, "I'M DONE!!" as she flung crotch juice all over her. Nasty!!
  3. by   teeituptom
    Quote from SoldierMedic
    Damn, how did he manage that?


    I didnt ask
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from Nitengale326
    I'm thinking the nursing homes and ER's are winning the prizes today. I worked n long term care for years. We had one lady who loved to eat and had a family that loved to feed her. She was total care and now topping 300 pounds. Our hoyers had only been approved for 275#. So for the time being "hattie" was stuck in bed. The Dr and the dietician had met with family and agreed to put her on a diet. The patient had agreed as well... for now. One Sunday night she needed to have her douche... felt some resistance when inserting the applicator... pulled out the tip of the applicator and noted lots of brown "crumbs" on the tip. Put on my miner's helmet... went in to investigate and pulled out a 4 piece fried chicken dinner with taters and a roll!!!! Hattie grinning, said, "Oh, that was gonna be my midnight snack".... We left the room and just lost it. Laughed the rest of the night.... still can't eat chicken 10 years later
    :roll Good one.
  5. by   kat911
    :chuckle I have many a gross story but heard this one recently when I was talking abut having a bad day with a local cop. He beat me hads down. Seems he made a traffic stop and had pulled over one of our ED's and one of the PD's frequent flyers. The guy was of course DUI and he had him exit the vehicle and assume the position on the hood of the car. The cop went to kick the FF's feet further apart and when he kicked one leg it flew off and into the path of a speeding semi on the interstate. The FF then fell over onto the gound hitting his head in the process. Now this cop has just had the shock of his life seeing this leg go flying into traffic, the truck driver must have nearly had a heart attack and the FF has a slight injury requiring an ambulance be called. I laughed until I cried, I still will start giggling when I think about this story. Last time I saw the FF he had a brand new leg.
  6. by   boulergirl
    Bert: Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.

    Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?
  7. by   Jrnalist2RNinOR
    Quote from Nitengale326
    ... pulled out the tip of the applicator and noted lots of brown "crumbs" on the tip. Put on my miner's helmet... went in to investigate and pulled out a 4 piece fried chicken dinner with taters and a roll!!!! Hattie grinning, said, "Oh, that was gonna be my midnight snack".... We left the room and just lost it. Laughed the rest of the night.... still can't eat chicken 10 years later
    I couldnt help but read this to my husband, who was sitting in the room at the time - he gave me a look, and laughed of course....

    at which point I had to ask - "You dont think I could fit a breast, thigh, wing, drumstick taters and a roll into my cooch - do you?"

    ....He started laughing so hard I thought he was having convulsions.... :chuckle
  8. by   momdebo
    Quote from rebelwaclause
    This is why I sing hymnals on my way to work! "Please watch ova me Lawd! (hahahaha)"

    My worst experiences had been while I was an EMT with the county contracted ambulance 911 provider. We often responded to county calls from protective services. the bay area has quite a few cities that are highly "elderly" populated.

    We are called to a scene in which an elderly woman was reported with ALOC (Mayun...I hate to hear ALOC now! its a catch all!). We are told to enter fully gowned/universal precautions. Well, it was hot that day and at the time our company wore jumpsuits, so I declined to put one on. We get to the home, the inside was dimly lit and filed with books stacked to the ceiling, empty cans of food, trash thrown everywhere the books and empty cans weren't and styrophone cups with old coffee in them. You can imagine the stinch! Oh...did I mention roaches, flies, "lions and tigers and bears...oh my!!!?"

    The woman was in the back of the house. It was a narrow walkway to her. We decide to sit-pic her a short distance to the guerney and get her outta there. The first attempt, I lost my footing and my knees hit her carpeted floor. "Splat"..I thought "awwww @#$!". It wasn't untill we got her loaded into the ambulance that I realized it was urine and a few roach body parts on my knees. A leg, an antenna. (Bare with me...I'm blanking out and sweating telling this even though that was eight years ago!)I asked her the typical "how are you feeling today?" She insisted she felt a little tired after coming home from teaching the children that day, as a roach climbed from under her wig to the back of her neck. I wonder if she noticed during
    "recess" the petrified poo-log that was working its way up her back?

    Our unit was down long enough for me to take off my jumpsuit, throw it in the dumpster and go home, swatting imaginary roaches that ran through the flashes of my mind! Our ambulance was out for a week to make sure it didn't become those critters new home!

    (Imma faint now...bye!)
    Yipes! How long did you require therapy after this? omg!!!:chuckle
  9. by   momdebo
    Quote from KaraLea
    In other words my allnurses sisters, PLEASE get your mammograms and yearly exams as well as self breast exams. I would hate to loose any of you in this way. And for our allnurses brothers...don't think you can get off easily. You get your prostate exams as ordered PLEASE!!!!
    Don't forget to buy the breast cancer awareness stamps, little bit more than regular stamps but the money is going into research, ante up everybody and let's beat this nightmare!
  10. by   momdebo
    Quote from graduate_2002
    'corn niblets'....'I work hard for the money'....blah ha ha :roll
    I almost spewed lemonade all over my computer!
    it's amazing to me, these people have something like inspector gadget orifices!
  11. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from kat911
    :chuckle I have many a gross story but heard this one recently when I was talking abut having a bad day with a local cop. He beat me hads down. Seems he made a traffic stop and had pulled over one of our ED's and one of the PD's frequent flyers. The guy was of course DUI and he had him exit the vehicle and assume the position on the hood of the car. The cop went to kick the FF's feet further apart and when he kicked one leg it flew off and into the path of a speeding semi on the interstate. The FF then fell over onto the gound hitting his head in the process. Now this cop has just had the shock of his life seeing this leg go flying into traffic, the truck driver must have nearly had a heart attack and the FF has a slight injury requiring an ambulance be called. I laughed until I cried, I still will start giggling when I think about this story. Last time I saw the FF he had a brand new leg.
    This isn't gross, it's HILARIOUS! :roll
  12. by   girlnurse83
    Quote from kurtz
    Picture this 2200 late shift. Phone call from A & E (or ER if you are in the USA)
    "We have an admission for you"
    A& E is not supposed to admit to general wards after 2130 (they usually go to the "holding ward" until morning, so we knew this must be a doozy.
    A & E - "She is mobile, continent, orientated and alert, she has a lower leg wound that the registrar wants a dermatologist to look at ASAP"
    Me - "Why isn't she going to the holding ward?"
    A & E - "There isn't any room"
    Me - "OK send her up, we'll cope"
    So we start to get ready for this admission, put the water jug next to the bed in a six bed bay and all the rest of it when we smell this most disgusting smell! We start to wander around the ward and this smell is getting stronger and stronger. Then we look up and here is a wardsman coming down the hallway with an obese woman in a wheelchair with an enormous number of bluies tied around both legs. He has a mask on but still looks a little worse for wear.
    We realise this woman can't be put in a 6 bed bay and have to rearrange beds to get her into a single room.
    We do this eventually and I get to take the admission as I was the fool to take this patient at this time anyway. I remove the blanket from around her shoulders and the corners of the blanket stay stiff it was that dirty.
    I ask her why she has come to hospital.
    She says; "Coz of my legs"
    Me; Ok what's wrong with them?"
    She says; "They're sore"
    Me: "Do you treat them with anything?"
    She says; "When they get bad I give them a spray"
    Me; "What with?"
    She says; "Mortein or something"
    At this stage there is a foul smelling semi opaque serous-looking fluid oozing from under the bluies and I know that what I am going to find there is not going to be pretty.
    I take the bluies off and the skin underneath is undulating! She had an entire ecosystem living there!! It was horrendous, like something out of a horror movie!
    Eventually the derm diagnosed this disease with a long name that excapes me that made her lower legs have skin like a crocodile, it would split occasionally and that is when the bugs would get in. This disease was primarily caused by simple poor hygiene it seems.
    Anyway the treatment was to put her in a warm bath and exfoliate her legs. I won't gross you out with those details. Needless to say she wasn't called the Cornflakes lady for nothing!
    To top it all off this woman was discharged eventually because of her innappropriate sexual behaviour. She would moan and call us darling when we massaged her lower legs with moisturiser to soften the skin. She would touch us innapropriately and smirk at us.
    An all round disgusting person!
    We were glad to see the last of her!
    I am speechless! That is...........there are no words!
  13. by   bpowers
    Yes, I've heard about this kind of thing before. How disgusting.



    Quote from EmeraldNYL
    My friend told me this story (whose cousin is a Dr.) but it just sounds too unreal to me! Anyway, apparently this particular pt.'s anus was completely covered with genital warts, so he had to get a colostomy. When he came back in for a follow-up, his stoma was covered with warts as well!! Eeeww!!! Do people really have sex with their stomas?! I'm sure some of you guys have seen it all....

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