What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

Here is my most gross, yucky, disgusting nursing story! Nurses Humor Article

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I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.

We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.

So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!

I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.

As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...

My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.

Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.

As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)

And of course, now so did I! :D

ok, time for my story. it's not as graphically gross as a lot of the stuff on here, but it really turned my stomach thinking about it.

I was a brand newie working on a rehab ward. It was mostly full of oldies who needed more time than the cookie-cutter care plan dictated they should take to recover from their joint replacements and people recovering from strokes, with a smattering of 'others' now and then.

one of these 'others' was a fifty-something trucker who had a head injury following a nasty truck crash. he had frontal damage, with the associated personality traits - uninhibited, belligerent, difficulty communicating but vocally offensive when be did.. he was also wheelchair bound and PEG fed. Despite being told to f*** myself whenever I would greet him I really liked caring for him, and I assume from the smile on his face and added degree of co-operativeness after I told him to f*** himself right back one day, he liked me too. it was this added bit of co-operation that led to my revolting discovery.

he'd been with us over a month, basically waiting for placement, and in that time he was always PEG fed, and we'd do oral care as best we could using a jumbo cotton swab while he did his best to not open his mouth and bite down on the stick. one day someone twigged that if you made the swab quite wet, he'd actually suck the moisture off it, so soon everyone was giving him little cotton swab drinks when they did his oral care.

one day, he was assigned to me and I went in like normal, did his feed, and settled in to begin the mouth care battle. I don't know why, but that day he actually opened his mouth a little for me, just 5mm maybe for a few seconds, and I managed to catch a glimpse of something in there. puzzled, I did what any self respecting newie would do - muttered 'what the hell is that' and went to get a second opinion from my preceptor. my preceptor got the boss, the boss got the speech pathologist, and the speech pathologist got an orderly to provide a bit of muscle, and between all of us we managed to persuade/force him to give up his 'precious' - two months of brownish green accumulated wisps of cotton from cotton swabs, mixed with all manner of elderly sputum and regurgitated PEG milk, which smelled like the bin in an abattoir in summer and was so large he had to press it against the roof of his mouth to speak.

because it had accumulated so slowly, nobody had noticed his speech getting slowly more garbled until, relieved of his cargo, his insults began to spring forth with the clarity of a church bell!

2 Stories to share with you all tonight.

I trained as a CNA because I had to. I had a 28 1/2 preemie who had sleep apnea, was born septic with group b strep, and who had Multiple Admit's for unexplained Fevers and Seizures due to a Immature central nervous System.

I actually Carried him to 32 weeks, but he had stopped developing well before that, and they were holding him in, so they could do injections to try and improve his Lung functions. He spent A month in NICU before he came home at a healthy 6 lbs. Doctors thought he would be a 10lb plus baby had he gone to term lol.

We we had him home all of 45 Minutes out of NICU when he Shuddered, stopped breathing , turned Blue and lost consciousness. We Started Cpr and got him breathing again. Called 911 and Ended up in the local Emergency room In Allentown PA and then were transferred by Life flight to the CHildren's hospital of Philadelphia. Poor kid went into respiratory arrest 3 times in the Emergency room. They classified it as LTE(Life threatening event) so we went right from the Life flight into the ICU.

After 3 days of no repeats were moved to a step down room. Well the Attending Doctor comes in with a good 10 Med students another 5 Resident's and a couple nurses doing Clinical's.

The Doctor gets my permission to use my Son as a training example as its a uncommon situation. So the Doctor starts undressing my 1 month old son and is explaining to the Students that I had a high tear, leaked placenta fluid, was hospitalized for a month, pre-eclamsia yada yada yada. It left the baby with a immature central nervous system that caused seizures. Problem was when ever he had a seizure, he would follow up in seconds with a Apnic event, as he would be so deeply unconscious that he would forget to breathe.

So the Doctor says " Now on to the Exam. Always , examine the child Naked as you do not want to miss any Deformities or Abnormalities." I'm in the back ground objecting , when the Doctor turns to me and say's , Dont worry he will be finnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

My Son Pee'd in the Doctors mouth and all over his face , hair and chest!!! Then I notice, he is also having a Bowel Movement. The Doctor has my Son held in Both hands, with one hand cupping his Bottom, so his hand was acting like the diaper. The Doctor swings around to grab a blanket off the bed, and as my son was still having a wee , he sprays everyone in the room with Urine! Med students were jumping back, and putting their hand up to block the urine. The nursing students used their clipboards to block the stream (shows who has the brains).

I fell over the bed, I was laughing so Hard. I'm so sorry, I tried to warn you, OMG , Let me go get some towel's. In the end, every one had a great Laugh and the Attending put a Diaper on the baby himself, because He swear's he saw a devilish twinkle in that boys eye ;)

Second story is funny but not gross.

I had a unplanned c-section with my 4th child due to IUGR. Well it went well and she came out small but fine. But I'm a smoker, and every couple hours I would take the baby to the Nursery to stay with the nurses while I went on a Smoke break outside. This was back before the new Law went into effect so we could smoke outside still.

Well I kept setting off the Babys anti theft alarm. I would stray too close to the elevators and it would go off.

So my Second day in, the Director of the hospital is sitting in my room waiting for me when I return from a smoke. I was thinking uh oh. Well it turns out they wanted us to help them out with a Kidnapping test of the nurses.

So my Daughter has her Alarm removed and my Husband is locked in the bathroom with 2 Police officers with her Daddy while I lay in bed , with the Alarm placed on a Baby Alive doll, in the nursette next to me.

I'm given explicit instructions on how to react.

Not 5 minutes into the test this Mad woman dashes into my hospital room, grabs my """"baby"""" and makes a run for it. I hit the call button and ask for my nurse to come ASAP. By this time the alarm had already gone off because the anklet was too close to the doors again. So My nurse headed for the doors to the nursery thinking I had set it off again on accident.

She realized something was wrong when my call light went off and hit my door at a dead run, white as a sheet. She skids into the room and almost trips over the Director. What happens next was so cool!

The Director says, the Baby has been Kidnapped, Activate the Emergency Response.

The Nurse grabs my room phone , Hits Zero and Says Code Pink Room 324. Then begins asking me for a description of the person, direction run etc. A second nurse comes in on a Cordless already on the line with 911.

While I am answering her, I hear Alarms go off all over the place, and You can hear doors begin to slam shut all over the hospital. Every hospital personnel in the place had a Door covered and Locked.

Not 30 Seconds later , the news came that the Woman had been caught between the main entrance door's. They slammed shut and locked when the code went off and she was trapped between them. The """Baby""" was recovered!!

Now keep in mind, I wasn't allowed to tell the nurse on the intercom that the baby was snatched, only that I needed asap help. The Kidnapper was a Secretary of the Director who was very tall with very long legs, and knew the hospital inside and out, and had a key to by pass the Locked elevators and doors.

Yet my Poor Nurses, did everything right and recovered the baby just steps away from the Secretary's get away car! Had I been allowed to react normally or say on the intercom that she was snatched, she would not have made it that far.

My poor nurse was pregnant too!!!

Later that night, I went to go pick up my Baby Girl from the Nursery and the Nurse, Pushes the Nursette over to me and turns around and walks away.Weird she didnt match the bracelets. I guess she is mad at me over the Training Exercise. So I bend over to give my Baby a nuzzle and my Daughter is Vibrating ***, it was the baby alive Doll!!! I looked up and a good 10 nurses were at the viewing window cracking up!!! My Baby was in the Swing sleeping like a lamb.

I gave the nurses all the deets on what I was told to do so they will be even more prepared next time. All in all, I had a awesome hospital and some fantastic nurses , who never lost patience with me. Ive met a few bad nurses, but in all the crap life has handed me , its been a nurse holding my hair back while I vomited non stop while in the hospital.A nurse who Diagnosed my Cauda Equina Syndrome And a nurse who saved my Daughters life when she was 10 months old. The Doctor missed the abccess but the nurse caught it!

Thanks for all you Do. Nurses truly are a blessing to us while Ill and Injured.

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
ok, time for my story. it's not as graphically gross as a lot of the stuff on here, but it really turned my stomach thinking about it.

I was a brand newie working on a rehab ward. It was mostly full of oldies who needed more time than the cookie-cutter care plan dictated they should take to recover from their joint replacements and people recovering from strokes, with a smattering of 'others' now and then.

one of these 'others' was a fifty-something trucker who had a head injury following a nasty truck crash. he had frontal damage, with the associated personality traits - uninhibited, belligerent, difficulty communicating but vocally offensive when be did.. he was also wheelchair bound and PEG fed. Despite being told to f*** myself whenever I would greet him I really liked caring for him, and I assume from the smile on his face and added degree of co-operativeness after I told him to f*** himself right back one day, he liked me too. it was this added bit of co-operation that led to my revolting discovery.

he'd been with us over a month, basically waiting for placement, and in that time he was always PEG fed, and we'd do oral care as best we could using a jumbo cotton swab while he did his best to not open his mouth and bite down on the stick. one day someone twigged that if you made the swab quite wet, he'd actually suck the moisture off it, so soon everyone was giving him little cotton swab drinks when they did his oral care.

one day, he was assigned to me and I went in like normal, did his feed, and settled in to begin the mouth care battle. I don't know why, but that day he actually opened his mouth a little for me, just 5mm maybe for a few seconds, and I managed to catch a glimpse of something in there. puzzled, I did what any self respecting newie would do - muttered 'what the hell is that' and went to get a second opinion from my preceptor. my preceptor got the boss, the boss got the speech pathologist, and the speech pathologist got an orderly to provide a bit of muscle, and between all of us we managed to persuade/force him to give up his 'precious' - two months of brownish green accumulated wisps of cotton from cotton swabs, mixed with all manner of elderly sputum and regurgitated PEG milk, which smelled like the bin in an abattoir in summer and was so large he had to press it against the roof of his mouth to speak.

because it had accumulated so slowly, nobody had noticed his speech getting slowly more garbled until, relieved of his cargo, his insults began to spring forth with the clarity of a church bell!

That is truly, honestly, horribly GROSS!:barf02::barf02::barf02:

Specializes in Medical.

Great stories, JustmeinKc. If we don't have a Best First AN Post award we should think about it - welcome to the site!

Yuck....I am not going to lie though, I would have been laughing my butt of it I saw this!

Specializes in Medical/Telemetry. Now ICU.

Went to give a suppository on nightshift....only had the light from the hallway. Had my gloves on, went to open the lube packet...didn't realize I had ripped the tip of the glove on the finger that I inserted into their rectum...put in the suppository...had stool on my glove...took off my glove, and stool all over that finger. NASTY!!! washed over and over for 15 mins....still smelled for a couple hours.:smackingf:down:

Went to give a suppository on nightshift....only had the light from the hallway. Had my gloves on, went to open the lube packet...didn't realize I had ripped the tip of the glove on the finger that I inserted into their rectum...put in the suppository...had stool on my glove...took off my glove, and stool all over that finger. NASTY!!! washed over and over for 15 mins....still smelled for a couple hours.:smackingf:down:

Tooth paste or shaving cream...

Is there any Job's in the health care field that are not Physically demanding all the time? I've always wanted to train as a nurse , but I can not walk long distances or stand for extended periods of time anymore because of a Spinal Cord injury.

What about Respiratory Therapist or Radiology Tech?

Wonder how long it would take me to get over the fear of gross stuff touch my hands? I can not even do dishes with out wearing gloves lol.

Great stories, JustmeinKc. If we don't have a Best First AN Post award we should think about it - welcome to the site!

Thank's! I laughed pretty hard myself on the first one. All the tension and stress of having your first child be so ill really gets to you. You learn to find humor where ever you can. Even some of the med students in the back laughed pretty hard.

Who knew a 1 month old baby could have such a bladder capacity! Must have been all the IV Fluids he was getting.

Ok so here is my story.

Picture it. Nursing home. Fairly decent. Bed time.

I am the kind of nurse that will help my CNA's put people to bed if I'm done with my work.

Me and a CNA were walking down the hall to put "Pearl" to bed.

She was an elderly woman who for the most part, was plesantly confused from Alz/Dem diagnosis.

Keep in mind, it is night. At least 12 hours after she was assisted out of bed, dentures put in, dressed, hair picked, ect. earlier that morning.

We round the corner of the doorway to her room and enter.

And there she is, sweetly sitting in her wheel chair.

Loudly slurping the last drops of liquid from her denture cup.

There is no way you could be a respiratory therapist. Think about it. Lots of Phlem and trachs and coughing and mucous. Radiology/ Xray tech would be okay. also think about Medical coding or transcriptionist. you could do that from home even

I was caring for a dying cancer patient who, on occasion would have thick, lumpy, bright green lady partsl discharge. And when I say discharge, I mean GOBS and GOBS of it, not tiny amounts, if you were to measure it, it would be several cups at a time. And stink to the high heavens! So, the night in question, I go to this poor lady's room to do her treatments, I pull down the covers and lo and behold, there she was lying in a puddle of lady partsl discharge. I got her all cleaned up, changed the fitted sheet, the top sheet was clean so it didn't have to be changed. I did the treatments, and pulled the covers up over her. Remember what I said about the top sheet being clean, well, I was so wrong! When I pulled the sheet up, I felt a cold "splat" on my forearm, and the nasty green "stuff" was all over me. Instantly I started gagging, ran to the bathroom and spent the next 20 minutes scrubbing my arm, gagging, and vomiting. I have been a nurse for over 15 years and have only "lost my lunch" twice at work, and this is, by far, the worst. This happened was I was new at the facility, and I didn't want to "bother" my co-workers to come help me clean her up. Moral of the story...get help, don't worry about "bothering" your support staff because we are all there to help one another.

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